| Me and Elvis Once Went On a Foodfest | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| Me and Elvis once went for a food fest, One late august night, The sign flashed "All You Can Eat!", So we stopped in for a bite. Elvis gobbled down thirty cheeseburgers, Faster than I'd ever seen, He swilled them down with ten milkshakes, And a bucket of chocolate ice cream. Then he ordered a mega huge curry, And twelve massive naan bread too, I pleaded "Elvis please stop eating!", It was all that I could do. But the singer sank down twenty prime ribs, And a nice fat juicy steak, I had to turn my head away, It was more than I could take. Still Elvis kept on eating, His appetite yet did burn, And the size of them cakes he shoved down his gob, Sure made my stomach churn. He wolfed down ten packets of biscuits, And a huge lump of blue stilton cheese, By the end of that dreadful evening, His stomach sat on his knees. At last he supped a cup of coffee, Said "Tataa!" and went on his way, They found him dead on the toilet, The very next day. But what the police didn't tell us, What the papers didn't say, Not only did Elvis snuff it, He blew the toilet away! |
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| Ted's Head | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| There was an old man called Ted, Who had an exploding head, One late September night, He gave his neighbours a fright, When he blew himself up in his bed! |
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| Grot, Snot 'n' Rot | ||||||||||||||||||||||
| Elvis actually thought that he had the power to heal. If his friends hurt themselves, Elvis would lay his hands on them to take away the pain. The singer was a strong man and often inflicted more pain than the poor person was going through. This in mind, Elvis' friends very rarely showed pain before The King. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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