With a smell of rotten eggs,
It shook the walls and loosened tiles,
Lifted the duvet off the bed.
It rattled up the chimney,
And blew apart the pot,
It escaped into the outside world,
My fart just couldn't be stopped.
The sonic boom from my bum,
Upped cars and toppled trees,
And the smell that followed soon after,
Brought grown men to their knees.
The army mobilised quickly,
Martial law was duly imposed,
People were handed out gasmasks,
Shutters and windows were barred and closed,
The fart roared day and night,
Buildings toppled and fell,
The world was bruised and battered,
And gave off a pungent smell.
Then one day the world awoke,
To peace and tranquility outside,
Slowly, carefully people appeared,
From places they had been forced to hide.
As I picked my way through the destruction,
With the rest of the rescue teams,
I promised myself I would never ever eat,
Another tin of baked beans!
The ancient Romans tied toads to their jaws to rid themselves of toothache.
Sufferers of Akathisia believe they will pop their clogs if they sit down.
