He swims at the bottom of the ocean,
Making offers you dare not decline,
For those who dare oppose him,
End up canned and covered in brine!
I'm farting in time to the music,
I've done it all my life,
It adds a funky backbeat of sorts,
(But it don't half upset the wife!)
I have a quite big problem,
That is causing endless strife
For on my neck there is a second head,
And it's ruining my life.
It spits and burps and swears alot,
And snores when I'm trying to sleep,
It hurls abuse down phonelines,
And scares old people in the street.
My mum says to ignore it,
That one day it will go away,
But my second head is happy,
And says it's here to stay.
Now the head seeks world domination,
My second head desires to be our king,
It want us to bow before it,
And all its praises sing.
It says it will steal a warship,
And take to the seven seas,
First it will attack the Russians,
Then bring America to her knees.
I have to put an end to it,
Before our world it takes,
I have to defeat my second head,
All humanity is at stake!
This calls for drastic measures,
My second head it must be stopped,
So I've bought myself a great big axe,
From my neck it will be chopped!
Queen Christina of Sweden was so afraid of fleas that she had a four inch cannon built so that she fire tiny cannonballs at fleas in her bedroom.