Wordsworth's Lost Poem

I waded slowly through some snot,
It came up to my waist,
It glowed flourescent in the dark,
And had a salty taste!
Don't Drink Beer Until You're Old Enough!

Don't drink beer until you're eighteen,
This is the best advice ever said,
It's not nice to wake up with a hangover,
And sick all over the bed!
Not On My Beat You Don't!

As I was walking to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
As I was an officer of the law,
I arrested the beggar for bigamy!
Jogging Granny

Granny Grubbymitts is a fitness fanatic,
She runs 5 miles every day,
She started jogging five years ago,
She'll reach Australia today!
Last Page
Grot, Snot 'n' Rot
Grot, Grub 'n' Grime
Mary Queen of Scots was bald.  This came to light after her execution.  The executioner picked up her head by her hair to show the crowd that she was dead and her head came away and bounced across the floor.  It is not true that Queen Elizabeth I proceeded to kick the head against the wall and shout "Goal!"

Eunach dwarfs in the courts of the ancient Ottoman Sultans were given the daunting task of amusing the royal women while they gave birth.  Not one of the best times to be telling a 'Knock,knock' joke.

George Bush was the first President of the U.S. to barf on live TV
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