Gran's rotten dentures scream and curse,
I'd say they're bitter, evil and twisted,
But, in fact, they're even worse!
If Gran's rotten dentures should ever escape,
It would mean the end for us all,
For the teeth hate all mankind,
And want to see us fall.
Then again, you'd feel the same if you'd been stuck in my nan's gob all them years!
A: The front row of a Cliff Richard concert!
An old man went to the hospital to have an operation upon his ears to give him back 100% hearing. On visiting his doctor three weeks later, the doctor remarked, "Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
To which the old man replied, "I haven't told them yet. I just sit around all day pretending to be deaf and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three times in the last week!"