Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
by Buffyangel68
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TWO HOURS LATER:
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Jim Ellison placed his head close to the fully open car window and slowly drew in air through his nose until his lungs would hold no more. He held onto the accompanying scents long enough to process them then released the breath in a frustrated sigh. What he was seeking wasn't there.
After driving randomly around the fiercely lit, casino-laden streets and through a few of the accessible residential communities, Jim was fighting off a migraine, but wasn't yet ready to tell Blair. He knew the younger man would make him stop and rest for the night, no matter how important this impromptu mission might be. Despite Jim's reticence, however, Blair's finely attuned empathy was picking up faint warning bells.
"Jim?"
"I'm fine."
"No you're not. We should head back to the hotel."
"I'm not ready to quit yet. She's out here somewhere..."
"That certainty's not coming from your senses, though, is it?"
"Not the normal five, anyway."
"If you're getting nudges from the spirit plane that's an even better reason to go back. We could sit down together in private and start a deep meditation..."
"Later. Not yet, okay? Just a little while longer. Talk to me. Keep me from drifting off."
"Talk? About what?"
"The bombshell about Greg, maybe? You haven't said a whole lot about how you feel now that you've had time to think."
"The only feeling I'm clear on so far is pissed off. I shouldn't talk about the situation at all until I get past that."
"Talking might *help* you to get past it." Jim countered, grinning briefly at his partner before returning his attention to the road ahead.
"Forget it. Whatever I say in the heat of anger you'll use against Naomi later. You put her down enough as it is. I won't give you more ammunition."
Jim grunted and shook his head, waiting to speak again until he'd safely completed a left hand turn.
"For a super-brain, you just don't make sense sometimes, Chief."
"I love her, Jim. I always will, no matter what. I can't help that. She took me around the world, showed me things no kid that age ever gets to experience..."
"Left you with strangers for weeks and months at a time."
"She led me to anthropology. If it weren't for Naomi, I'd never have known what I'm supposed to be."
"And if you weren't studying at Rainier we might never have met. I get that, I really do, and I'll accept that the best thing to ever happen to me might've been providence or fate or whatever, but not that she had anything to do with you and me. You picked the school, right?"
"You know I did."
"And it was your mind that got you in and your hard work that's kept you there."
"Traveling with her gave me the passion and the thirst for knowledge..."
"No, Chief. You had that in you all along. You were born with it."
"You don't know that, Jim..."
Lips pressed tightly together and his eyebrows lowered, Jim pulled over to the side of the road and turned to face Blair.
"The hell I don't, Sandburg! I know you ten times better and a hundred miles deeper than she ever will!"
"How can you say that?"
"I love you, that's how."
Blair's face went white and he drew back slightly, leaning into the passenger door.
"I can't believe you just... you think she doesn't love me?"
Jim held his breath momentarily, closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face.
"Blair..."
"No, how long have you been holding this in, huh, Jim? Months? Years, maybe? When did you decide my own mother doesn't really love me?"
"It's not her feelings I question, Chief. It's her definition of ' love'."
"She does the best she can." Blair retorted, fiercely swiping at the tears now tracing down his cheeks.
"I understand that, Blair. Some people just... shouldn't be allowed to raise a child. You remember that parenting seminar Simon sent the whole of Major Crimes through? So we'd know what we were looking at when a case involved abused kids?"
"How could I forget it? The pictures..."
"Yeah, well, every time I saw or talked to Naomi after that, the things that speaker said kept comin' back to me. ' The most important thing a parent can do is the simplest: just be there and be involved.' ' A parent who instinctively places the child's welfare and needs above their own is doing the job right.' "
"She gave me everything, Jim... she gave me the world."
"Maybe, but she was also selfish. She didn't want roots or stability, so she decided you didn't need them either. Now that I think about it, I'm relieved she had a moment of clarity that lasted long enough to realize what was best for Greg. The fact that he grew up in a solid home with good, caring people... that's one point in Naomi's favor, but it doesn't cancel out the lying and the pain she's caused both of you."
"So you just choose not to forgive her... just like that."
"Not just like that. Unfortunately, I had to get to know her before I realized she was somebody I wished I'd never met. I think you were right earlier, Chief. Time to pack it in for tonight. Let's head back to the hotel and get some sleep."
Turned toward the window, Blair didn't respond. Jim sighed, flicked on his blinker and pulled back onto the road.
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FOLLOWING MORNING:
As he was putting the finishing touches on breakfast and turning to plop a tea-bag in Greg's cup of warm water, the phone rang, causing Nick to scowl briefly at it. He dropped the bag into place, set the mug in front of his housemate's spot at the table and ran to grab the call, yelling as he moved to be sure Greg knew he didn't have to rush getting dressed to run and answer the phone.
"I got it, Greggo! Take your time! Yeah, hello?"
"Mr. Stokes?"
"Speaking. Who's this?"
"Scott Denson."
"Oh. Hey. Look, it's like I told you, Greg can't go out and he may not be able to for a while..."
"Of course. I'm sorry. I hadn't heard from you, so I wanted to call and make sure everything's going well."
"As well as it can. He's seein' a therapist, his voice sounds better every day... it's all pretty good right now."
"That's wonderful. Just for my own peace of mind though, I really need to see him one more time."
"I told you..."
"I know, and I understand, but Mohammed is more than willing to go to the mountain."
"You mean... come here? I don't think so."
"He needs to be checked over, Mr. Stokes. The surgical sites, his throat... I need to be sure. And before you ask, this isn't about liability, mine or the hospital's. I deeply admire the strength and courage it took for Greg to come through this ordeal as whole as he is. If an infection or any major problem is developing, I can stop it and make sure he doesn't have to endure any more suffering."
"Sorry, but I can't let it happen. I wasn't there the last time an' I sure as hell don't wanna be there for the re-run."
"He was upset and frightened, I grant you that, but that young woman handled it admirably. She calmed him down completely."
"She did a hell of a lot more than that. Sara told him how to zone out, you know, send his mind somewhere else, while you did what ever it is you had to do. Problem is, after you left she almost couldn't get him to come back. This time... who knows what could happen? I'm not gonna take the risk. The answer's gotta be no."
"Mr. Stokes..."
"Forget it. Bye, doc." Nick told him firmly, hanging up and moving back to the table. A few minutes later, Greg emerged from his room and took his place at the table. As he bit into a piece of toast, he looked over at Nick curiously. Swallowing carefully, he hesitated, then quietly questioned his friend.
"You look really upset. Who was that?"
Nick paused also, but eventually told the truth, knowing Greg could handle it and deserved better than to be treated like a fragile china doll.
"Denson. He was just checkin' up on you."
"He still want me to come to the hospital?"
"Not anymore. He... wanted to make a house call."
Greg paled.
"What... what'd you tell him?"
"I said no way. Not after..."
Nick's jaw tightened briefly and he dug into his food.
"After what happened with Sara, you mean?"
Nick looked up quickly, surprised at Greg's response.
"You remember that?"
"Not all of it. I know I freaked and wouldn't let... Dr. Denson or the nurses near me. Then Sara showed up. That's where it gets a little blurry. She told me... I didn't have to be there. I should close my eyes and blank out... my mind or think about music I liked. I don't really remember much... until I came around again. Just that I felt safe... and peaceful and I wanted to stay there." Greg answered, finishing off his toast and starting on his eggs.
"God, Greggo... I'm glad you didn't. We need you out here with us."
"You need me. Right? You mean you need me?" The younger man replied, his expression uncharacteristically solemn and seeking. Nick swallowed forcefully and shoved aside his fears and questions about their future together, providing the calm assurance Greg was silently pleading for.
"Yeah, I need you, Greg. Never doubt that. Always and forever, man."
Greg chuckled and looked down. "What? Did I say it wrong?"
"No, it was perfect, Nick. I've just never had... somebody be romantic with me who meant it. It's really... cool."
Nick grinned, flushed slightly and dove back into his meal, despite the fact that his eggs had gone cold. In fact he didn't really notice.
Forty-five minutes later, both men were talking over empty, stained plates. The food had run out long before, but the conversation, as usual, had not. Picking up his dish and silverware, Greg stood and moved into the kitchen, responding over his shoulder to a question Nick had asked. The other was only a few steps behind, but turned back when someone knocked at the door. Greg moved into his safe place, flinching internally when he heard the door open, even though his eyes were well shielded from any possible view of the outdoors. His heart began to pound furiously, however, when he heard Nick's displeased greeting toward their latest visitor.
"Doc."
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TBC...
