Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
by Buffyangel68
-------------------------------------------
ONE HOUR BEFORE SHIFT: THE MORGUE
Hearing the sound of someone approaching, Al Robbins looked up and smiled lightly when he realized that the visitor was one he'd been expecting. At the same time, he took a deep breath and steeled himself, concerned that the revelations he was about to make would prove overwhelming to the man about to hear them. The idea, after all, was not to frighten and shock, but to advise and prove that they stood on common ground. He only hoped he possessed enough patience and tact to do the job right.
"You wanted to see me?"
"C'mon in, Gil. Actually... I was told you needed to talk to me."
"You were? By who?"
Robbins paused, gathering his nerve, then spoke the name that could change everything and lose him a cherished friendship, though he prayed it would do neither.
"Warrick."
Grissom's eyebrows arched significantly and he stared, momentarily stunned by the unexpected development.
"So you're the... consultant he told me about?"
"It's as good a word as any."
"Well... don't take this as an insult, but I'm really surprised."
"Tell me how you mean that and I'll tell you how I'm taking it."
"I'm not referring to your legs or your age. It's just... I thought I knew you pretty well. We've spent a lot of time together, we're good friends... how did you slip being gay past me?"
"I'm not. I don't consider myself homosexual. I developed very strong feelings for one particular man and decided that expressing them physically was a perfectly natural step to take."
"Can I ask who?"
Robbins' expression darkened and he turned away, making a show of doing some last minute cleaning, even though he knew Gil would instantly realize it was a pretense.
"I suppose it doesn't matter now. While we were together, we kept our mouths shut to protect ourselves and each other, but now... I don't think he'd mind you knowing."
Gil's astute mind jumped ahead of Robbins' confession and took him back to a long-ago hallway conversation that had faded from his memory almost as soon as it had concluded. Now, he recalled the brief encounter vividly and a name popped into his head.
"My God... Cyrus Lockwood?"
Robbins spun back around to face his friend, mild wonder on his face.
"You remember that comment? I wasn't sure you would."
"You brought over the bullet. When I said you didn't have to... you told me you'd gotten to know him and felt you owed it to him. Al, I'm sorry. I should have dug a little deeper, but at the time..."
"I know. Solving his murder came first. Trust me, I appreciated your dedication. Most of the time I admire your single-minded nature. It gets things done around here and solves cases that would make other labs and police departments run and hide. I also understand that you don't think you have the time for emotion and introspection. The thing is, if you want Jim Brass... that'll have to change."
"You sound like you know him pretty well too." Gil replied, the barest touch of resentment slipping into his tone. Robbins gave him a sharp look.
"Not in the biblical sense. People tend not to see me unless we're talking over a dead body, Gil. Otherwise I'm pretty much invisible. I'm not complaining, mind you. It gives me a lot of opportunity to observe. Oftentimes I notice what goes right over everyone else's head."
"Like the real Brass?"
"Exactly."
"You're saying I don't *really* know him."
"I hate cliches but 'still waters run deep' is a hundred percent accurate when it comes to Brass. People think he's bitter and angry, but they don't get it. He holds so much inside that sometimes it just... blows up and unfortunately fury is the one emotion he isn't afraid to show the world."
Gil frowned, swiftly going over old scenes and confrontations in his mind. Gradually, he began to see how right Robbins was. Slowly closing the gap between them, Gil braced himself on the edge of a metal autopsy table and leaned forward, suddenly aware of how big a change he was contemplating. Robbins placed a gentle hand in the center of the other man's back and spoke softly.
"Think about this very carefully, Gil. You could be good for each other, but it's going to require a huge effort from both of you. Do you really think you're prepared for the challenge?"
"I have no idea. Isolating myself has become comfortable... too much, maybe. I used to cherish the security... keeping everyone at a distance just felt safer."
"Shielding our hearts almost never works the way we want it to. People still find a way in."
"I know. Did I ever tell you Catherine was at the hospital before my surgery?"
"No, I don't think you ever did."
"I was sitting on an exam table in one of those flimsy little gowns they give you. When I realized she was there I grabbed my "I'm fine, really" mask, slapped it on and clutched it for all I was worth. When she hugged me... that was the only time it slipped. I'm so grateful she couldn't see my face. I was totally lost as to what to do or say. She pulled back, I got myself together and I just... walked away, down the hall toward the OR. I know she didn't understand..."
"The point is, do you?"
"Not completely. I just know that comfortable and secure aren't enough anymore. I need to take a risk and reach out now, or I may never do it. God, I've wasted so much time already..."
"So you're just doing this for the sake of turning your life around? It could be anybody, as long as they're within range? If that's the case, then leave Jim alone. He's a good man and he deserves far better than to be convenient."
Gil straightened and pulled away from the coroner's comforting touch.
"No! How can you even think that?"
"I care about both of you, Gil. I just had to be sure. Neither of you deserves to be hurt again."
"I'd never hurt him. The attraction and the feelings are there... on my side at least. Warrick gave me some tips for finding out what Brass thinks about it."
"Sorry, but you can't blame me for wanting to protect my friends." Robbins said, moving off to a small filing cabinet and unlocking a drawer. He pulled out two books, closed and re-locked the cabinet and moved back to join Gil. "Here."
Gil looked at the titles and blushed furiously.
" 'The Joy of Gay Sex' and 'The Gay Kama Sutra' ?"
"Warrick said you were worried about not knowing what to do if Brass said yes. While you're figuring out if he reciprocates your feelings, you might as well do some research."
"But..."
"Oh, and if you plan on experimenting with the Kama Sutra, I'd suggest starting a yoga class."
"Yoga."
"For the advanced positions. Some of them require a lot of flexibility, but trust me, you'll never regret it."
Just then, a body was wheeled in. Gil quickly stuffed the books under his waistband at the back of his slacks, pulled his shirt out to cover them and headed for his office, moving as fast as he could without actually breaking into a jog.
---------------------------
LOCKER ROOM: TWO HOURS LATER
"Thanks for this chance, Captain Brass. I don't know if we can help or not, but at least we can try." Blair said, standing back from the other two men, hands stuffed deeply in his pockets.
"Everybody else has, why not you guys? You still haven't explained what exactly it is you plan on doing, though. What's so different?"
"Jim has... talents not everyone can draw on. If anybody can find your missing CSI, he can."
"Otherwise she can't be found?" Brass responded, turning from Sara's locker.
"I didn't say that."
"It was implied. Don't worry about it, kid." He said, returning to his task. "We've all been thinking it, we just don't say it. None of her friends wanna give up hope just yet. The ones above me an' Gil... that's another story. I think they only agreed to this 'cause they *have* given up an' they don't care anymore."
When the locker door finally swung back, Brass stepped out of the way and tossed a thin, skeptical smile at Ellison. "So? What now?"
"This could take a while. It's better if you just give us some space. You'll know when he's finished." Blair explained. Brass reluctantly retreated to the bench in the center of the room and sat down. He watched with growing curiosity as the smaller man stepped up close to Ellison and began talking to him softly. The tall detective responded with curt nods instead of words, but Sandburg seemed fine with that.
Even though Brass hadn't been given much in-depth detail about the pair, the bond he sensed was something he'd only seen in teams of officers who'd been together several years, so he assumed this was the case with Blair and Jim. Doubts arose, however, when he tried to estimate Blair's age.
{The kid can't even be thirty yet. Twenty-seven at the most. Maybe he got into the academy young. Hang on, though. I swear Ellison said somethin' about the kid being in college. Yeah, he's a student teacher. So that's four years undergrad... a couple post-grad to get to where they'll let him teach... hell, when did this kid have time to become a cop?}
Brass was startled out of his intense thought process by the sound and presence of someone sitting down next to him. Turning to see, he was pleased to find he'd been joined by Gil.
"Hey. Good to see you." Brass told him with a genuine smile. "What's up?"
"Someone said they saw you come in here and I wanted to get your thoughts on this case." Grissom replied, opening the file and shifting it toward Brass so they both could examine it.
"Oh yeah. This. Suitable for dumpster diving, that's all this is..."
For a few minutes they quietly went over the case, while Gil struggled madly to appease his conscience. He hadn't really needed a second opinion on this particular file, but he'd been impatient to try Warrick's advice and see what would happen, so he'd chosen a likely candidate for review and gone in search of his friend. So far, Brass seemed to be reacting just as Gil had prayed he would. When he leaned in to seek out a certain paragraph or pointed out something on the page closer to Brass' side than his, the other man didn't retreat or shy away. He didn't initiate closeness or contact, either, but a first step was a first step and Gil was happy to take what he could get.
Finally, Gil chose to end his first attempt and looked up from the file, frowning in confusion at Jim and Blair.
"What are they doing? Isn't that Sara's locker?"
"It's okay. They've got a seal of approval to try and find her."
"Who are they?"
"Greg's cousin Blair Sandburg and his partner Jim Ellison. They're cops up in Washington State. According to the kid, Ellison's a bit of a magic man. Says if he can't rescue Sara... there's not much more can be done."
"At this point I don't care if he pulls scarves out of his boxers or makes me pick a card. I'm ready to try anything if it gets her home safe."
"Yeah, I second that, but, uh... he's sniffing her shoes."
"It's not exactly the scientific method, but whatever works."
-----------------------------------------------------------
TBC.....
