Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
by Buffyangel68
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"Doc."
"Mister Stokes. Can I..."
"No. I told you not to show up."
"You need to understand..."
"You need to get your ass gone before you cause any more trouble." Nick told him fiercely, turning his head a little in response to the faint whimpering and mumbling he could hear coming from Greg's corner in the kitchen. Nick's narrowed eyes never left the man standing in the doorway, however.
"My conscience won't let me do that."
"I don't give a damn about your conscience! Do you hear him? Do you hear what just your voice did to Greg? If he sees you God knows what's gonna happen!"
"If he has an infection, or there's something wrong I could have fixed... God knows how I'll live with myself if I just walk away."
As had happened with Ellison, the doctor's stubbornness came off to Nick as a red-alert, causing him to shift into 'pissed-off-mama-bear' mode. He smiled grimly and advanced a step on Denson, who stumbled backwards.
"You... are not my problem. All I care about is that you're upsettin' him. Leave, before I have to make a choice we'll both regret."
To his credit, Denson didn't back off completely, even in the face of a man who could clearly back up any threat he made.
"I'll tell you what. You do the checking. If the danger signs aren't there, I'll go without a fight and I won't come back."
Nick huffed a short, terse breath out through his nose and his gaze grew even more intense.
"Open your ears, damn it. No. Not a snowball's chance in hell."
"Mister Stokes... I understand you being protective of your friend. He's lucky to have someone so determined standing up for him, but this is very important..."
"What's important is Greg. This is the only place he feels safe right now an' you're messin' with that. Get the hell outta here!" Nick hissed, more worried that the sounds from the kitchen had stopped than he'd been by being able to hear the other man's distress.
Denson released a resigned sigh and backed away from the front step a little.
"Fine. Your point is valid, I know that. I just... will you keep in touch? Please? Let me know if the slightest thing seems off, if he seems to be ill or..."
"Yeah. I can do that."
"Thank you."
Nick grunted a response as he shut and locked the door. Knowing his work wasn't done, he strode back to where Greg huddled in his corner, shivering.
"It's all over, Greg. He's long gone, door's secure. You can come outta there now. Greg? Greggo! Damn... God, no..."
Rising, Nick rushed to the phone and dialed rapidly, forcing his anxiety deep down where it wouldn't interfere and make his tongue or his fingers stumble.
"Cyn. It's Nick. We need help. He's blanked out... won't even look at me. Yeah, I know what happened... Not now. Just get a move on, willya? I'll explain when you get here. Thanks."
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"Hey, Cyn. Thanks for coming on such short notice." Nick said quietly, hugging Cynthia as he admitted her to the apartment. She let him hold on as long as he needed to, questioning him only when he pulled back.
"What's going on?"
"The doc who treated Greg in the hospital... he's been buggin' us about a follow up exam. I told him it wasn't gonna happen 'till the kid can stand to go out again."
"So the idiot decided to come here instead."
"You got it. The minute Greggo heard the doc's voice..."
"Say no more. I understand."
"Not everything. I think... I think this is my fault."
"Of course it isn't!"
"You don't know what I did... I was so stupid..."
"I'll resolve your guilt complex later, alright? For the moment, let's focus on Greg."
Nick led Cynthia toward the kitchen, but stayed at the edge of the carpet, allowing her to approach Greg alone. After a minute or two of gently talking to the young man and getting no response, she turned back to Nick, her expression sober. "He's catatonic. You'll have to pick him up and carry him over to the couch."
Nick shook his head.
"I can't. He wouldn't want me to..."
"He won't know. I can't help him like this, Nick and I'm not strong enough to move him."
Cynthia backed out, heading for the sofa, and Nick hesitantly took her place. As he carefully lifted Greg's motionless form off the floor, supporting the young man's legs in the crook of his elbow instead of on his injured hand, the older man froze for a moment, stunned into immobility.
"Nick? What is it?"
"He... he barely weighs anything." Nick replied, his voice suddenly tight and hoarse.
"He hasn't been eating his normal diet for almost three weeks, now. I'd be shocked if he *hadn't* lost a few pounds."
"I guess that makes sense. I just... I wasn't ready to be smacked in the face with it."
As Nick turned and transported Greg into the living room, he thought about trying to wipe away the tears tracking down his cheeks, but he decided to ignore them. Cynthia had seen him cry many, many times and, consequently, was one of a very small group of people he wasn't embarrassed to weep in front of. When he had settled Greg onto the couch and taken a seat himself, Cynthia silently held out a tissue. Nick took it gratefully, giving her a shaky smile.
"You never say anything when I turn on the water works. How come?"
"No need. I usually know what it's about. Besides, talking it to death would only make you more uncomfortable and less likely to open up. I'd never want to lose that easy honesty between us."
"Me either. I talked to you like nobody else in my life."
"Talked? Past tense?" she teased lightly.
"I haven't changed my mind about gettin' back into therapy. We'll work out the details later. Right now... Greg needs you."
"Don't think you're going anywhere this time. He'll need you too."
"Not after what I did..."
"Pardon?"
"Forget it. Go on. Get workin' on him."
He received a critical, cynical look, but Cynthia dropped the question and turned to assess Greg.
"Has this happened before?"
"Not here. It did in the hospital, though."
"Doctor Denson was involved that time too, I'm assuming."
"It wasn't the doc's fault. He was doin' his job. Greg just freaked when Denson had to examine him... in a sensitive place."
"The initial surgery. Of course. Did he come around on his own?"
"No. Didn't get there that way either."
"Long story?"
"Longer than we've got time for."
"True. The longer he stays like this the harder it may be to convince him he's better off out here instead of locked in his own mind." She agreed, reaching out to grasp Greg's hand. "Greg. It's Cynthia. It's alright. You're safe now. It's just Nick and me here with you. Talk to me, Greg. C'mon kiddo, if you can hear me, give me something."
As Cynthia continued to quietly urge Greg to return from his protected internal world, Nick's thoughts were following their own path. After a few more seconds of intense mental debate, he spoke to Cynthia.
"Cyn?"
"You have an idea?"
"I think so. There's a CD I got a few days ago... it's got a song on it I've been wantin' to play for him, but... I haven't had the guts."
"You think he'll respond?"
"The lyrics... yeah, I think he might."
"Music has been known to reach some people when nothing else will. Do it."
Rising Nick strode to the stereo, powered it up and popped in one of the two Josh Groban disks that Brass had burned for him. Advancing it to the third track he raised the volume and moved quickly back to the couch.
"This song is for you, Greggo. You already know how I feel, but... he says it a lot better than I can. Please... listen to the music. Let it bring you back to me..."
* Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you
I look up to
Everything you are
In my eyes you do no wrong
I've loved you for so long
And after all is said and done, you're still you.
After all, you're still you...*
As the song progressed, both of the others kept a close watch on Greg, but saw no improvement. It wasn't until the second verse began that Cynthia felt Greg's grip on her hand slowly tighten.
* You walk past me
I can feel your pain
Time changes everything
One truth always stays the same
You're still you
After all, you're still you...*
"That's it, Greg. That's it... that's right. You're safe. Come back." Cynthia soothed him, transferring Greg's hand to Nick. The Texan looked at her, confused.
"He doesn't trust me to touch him yet, remember?" she reminded Nick softly. He nodded and watched, a smile blossoming, as Greg blinked, looked around and finally turned bewildered eyes to Nick. Never breaking that connection, they silently listened to the end of the song together.
*... And I believe in you
Although you never asked me to
I will remember you
And what life put you through
And in this cruel and lonely world
I found one love
You're still you
After all, you're still you.... *
"Nick?"
"It's okay, bud. You got scared.... but it's over now. No big thing." Nick assured him, struggling to keep his emotions in check.
"I went away again. That's a *major* thing."
"Greg, no, man..."
"Don't do that, Nick. Don't treat me like I can't... handle bad news or deal with what just happened. I can. I know you love me, but... I put myself in enough of a cocoon, okay? If you do it too I'll suffocate."
"Greggo... I didn't mean..."
"I know. It's okay. Just tell me the... truth. I went away again, didn't I?"
"Yeah."
"Was Denson actually here or was that... in my head?"
"He was here. I kicked his ass back out."
Greg smiled weakly.
"Thanks."
"What, you actually think I'd do anything else? Matter of fact, I only threw him off the front step. He never got past the door."
"Greg?"
Slightly surprised, the younger man turned and looked at Cynthia.
"Hi. Wait... why did he call you? Was I that far gone?"
"No, not really. Nick was scared, that's all. He'd never seen you like that. Greg, do you want to tell me what happened?"
"You saw me. I went away."
"Where?"
"I don't know. I can't describe it. I just... I know it's what I need. If I'm scared or... in danger I can be safe there."
"And today?"
"It was warm and quiet like last time... then I heard that song." He replied, returning his gaze to Nick. "You played that for me?"
"Yeah."
"You... that's how you feel. Those words..."
"I wasn't sure... I've been trying to say those things by doin' for you, protectin' you. The song... it wasn't like it was comin' straight from me, ya know... no pressure, just like I promised."
"It was from your heart and it worked. That's what counts." Cynthia softly injected.
"I'm sorry, Nick... I'm so sorry." Greg said, holding out his hands and inviting their special connection. Nick readily accepted. A single tear tracked down Greg's face and he swiftly banished it by turning his head and wiping it off on his shirt before looking up at Nick again.
"Sorry? For what? You didn't make the mistake, here, bud, Denson did."
"I should have trusted you... I mean, I do trust you, always. I just should've... known you'd never let him near me. I don't need another safe place... when you're here. I'm sorry I forgot that..."
"No... no way. You did what you needed to. There's nothin' to forgive about that."
"Do you feel like talking about the first time this happened, Greg; about who taught you to find that safe place inside?"
"Can Nick stay this time?"
"Absolutely."
"Her name's Sara Sidle. She's missing, but I know we'll find her. When we do you... might have another new patient."
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TBC......
