| STEALTH CAMPAIGNING: SABOTAGE BEHIND ENEMY LINES |
| Page 5 |
| A time-proven tactic of war (and all politics are is war without bullets...usually) is to mess things up for the enemy by pretending to be him. Most people can figure out how to run a campaign for someone you support, but sometimes it my be required to ruin a campaign for someone you oppose. Much of this is highly illegal, so it for informational purposes only, of course. The easiest way to do this is claim to be a supporter and volunteer to help. Once you're inside, you can send things down hill in a hurry. Use your imagination; the possibilities are unlimited. Actions can be taken ranging from intentionally alienating potential supporters through rudeness or misrepresentation of the candidate's position or background, to crashing computers and phone systems, to even "germ warfare", as was done by a Democrat operating undercover in a Republican campaign headquarters, who found himself infected with the flu and did his best to shut down the operation by doing everything he could to spread it to his coworkers. Don't take a bath for a week, put on the raggedest, filthiest clothes you can find, drink enough liquor to be sure that your breath smells like it, take his literature and campaign for him as loudly and obnoxiously as possible door to door - especially in the better neighborhoods. They'll just love him for it. For more related ideas, see "YOU STINK!" below. |
| YOU STINK! GUERRILLA WARFARE THROUGH THE NOSE |
| Smells are underrated as a weapon by most people (Not by the military, who is currently developing a non-lethal crowd clearer that operates by releasing a foul stench.); however, they can be a useful adjunct to the Confederate secret agent's bag of dirty tricks. Be warned that intentionally contaminating an area, let alone another person, with a foul odor is usually illegal. There are ways to distribute odors, particularly in small spaces, that are either legal or at least hard to prove. The old stand-by of eating a big meal of beans, deviled eggs, pickled cauliflower, and cooked cabbage can make things miserable in the confines of, say, an office. It's not illegal to break wind, so have at it. If you can do it quietly, you can look accusingly at the person next to you. Then of course, dog manure can be "accidentally" stepped in and tracked across the carpet. Oops! The serious, destructive use of odors is the most effective, as well as the most illegal method. They can be sprayed from a squirt bottle (sinus spray bottles for undercover work, window cleaner bottles for bulk use such as large areas or clearing crowds; stay away from squirt guns - they leak!), sometimes carried in the pocket with a long tube securely affixed to the nozzle and extending down the sleeve or pants leg, or they can be put in easily broken container (such as a paintball, a baggie, or a hollow wax vessel, made either in a candy mold or by dipping a block of ice repeatedly in melted wax, then draining off the water) which can be thrown, launched from a slingshot or paintball gun, atomized with a firecracker, or placed where it will melt (such as a heater, furnace, or manifold) or be sat on or stepped on, such as under a seat cushion or toilet seat, a rug or mat, or simply dropped in the middle of a crowd. Stenches can be made by putting meat, eggs, or fish in a jar in the sun and leaving them to liquefy into a nauseating mess that is not to be worked with inside your house! An easier method, and one of the most potent and longest-lasting, is to use nature's tear gas: skunk musk, readily available from trapping supply businesses. A fresh burst of skunk scent is enough to send most people scrambling for the exit (In fact, someone a while back was marketing it for rape defense. The lady would carry a vial of it around her neck and crush it when attacked, getting it all over her and the attacker both. It would probably be fairly effective.). It has the added advantage in that it lingers a long time, and is nearly impossible to get out of clothes and carpets. If you are real dedicated, you can soak yourself with it, walk inside, and introduce yourself. The odor will linger long after you're gone, and it makes it very unpleasant for anyone trying to arrest you! Stink bombs, along with food additives that cause uncontrollable gas, projectile vomiting, or dysentery can also be ordered from police supply houses. Makes you wonder what they're doing with it, doesn't it? Think about it the next time you see a politician collapsing or puking his guts out on the news. |
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