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General explanations for those too mentally-devolved to understand . . .
Alright, you sorry, over-sexed Gryffindors, wishing-for-some Hufflepuffs, sexually-regressed Ravenclaws, and-- perfection-on-display Slytherins.
It's no secret why you're here.
You're unable to attach your sorry selves to anyone in a permanent sense. That, boys, is where you come in. Sad, really, but without you, the crowd of ultimate pathetics, where would we be? That's right. Nowhere.
So.
You --> Payment --> Earmuffs --> Mandrake --> A good time had by all.
Ground rules:
All payments must be presented at the time of transaction. Collateral may be held if you are unable or unwilling to cough it up-- er, unfortunate enough to-- uh, Draco . . .
For Merlin's sake, Potter, I give you two simple lines to memorize, I swear to-- . . . Payment may be remitted to either Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter or Professor Snape. Oh, or the treasurer. Have to make Longbottom earn his keep somehow.
Questions can be directed to the same three parties. You can ask Longbottom, but he won't be able to help you. We also suggest speaking with our publicist, Seamus Finnigan.
Discretion is of the utmost importance. Violators will be towed-- er, Potter, what the bloody hell does all this mean? It makes no sense! This is the last time I let you write any of the rules-- . . . fine. Yes, 1am behind the Quidditch shed, I heard you the last time. Hey-- stop that, you horrible, halfwitted little-- you utter prat, stop-- . . . damn you. We'll never get any work done at this rate.
Continuation of "The Rules": TBA.
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| Meet Your Friendly Neighborhood Proprietors! |
Presidency:
Draco Malfoy; Harry Potter
Benefactor(s):
Professor Severus Snape
Publicity:
Seamus Finnigan; Blaise Zabini
Treasurer(s):
Longbottom, Neville
Honourary Mention(s):
You. Wish.
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| Breaking News: |
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Sprout Suspicious
Professor Sprout has been keeping an annoyingly close watch on us ever since some clever fools decided to send their Mandrakes singing Val-O-Grams last week. The guilty parties will pay. Possible membership revocation pending.
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