Terry and I were married on August 8, 1992. We took a 3 week honeymoon driving through the United States. Upon our return, we learned that Julie had finally left Joseph. That in itself surprised us, but imagine how we felt when we learned that she had left Alexis behind! I couldn't understand how someone could leave a 17 month old baby behind at first. Then Joseph told us that Julie and he had been out walking with the baby and were having an argument. Julie pushed the carriage with the baby in it down a hill by itself. He also confided that Julie had tried to smother the baby with a pillow once, and another time he had gone in to check the baby after her crying stopped abruptly after Julie went into the room and had found the soother stuffed down Alexis's throat. He had previously told us that Julie had threatened to throw the baby down the garbage incinerator chute, and I knew for a fact that Julie had, in fact, done this to their cat. (I had reported this incident to their Children's Aid worker and to the local Humane Society at the time.)
We began to handle all of Joseph's finances, as he had not held a job since he left home, and he was deeply in debt. Every month he signed his welfare check over to us, we would take him shopping for groceries, clothes etc, and pay all his bills. We sat with him for hours, showing him how to budget, plan meals, clean house and look after Alexis and himself. We bought him new and good used furniture for his apartment. Eventually, my daughter and I convinced my son-in-law to get Joseph a job where he worked. My daughter, Tina, babysat Alexis while Joseph was at work. After a while, Tina realized that things were not normal with this child. Alexis would go into the refrigerator and take food out, hide under the table, behind the couch, wherever she could, and gorge herself. She would eat tubs of margerine, olives, pickles, bread...whatever she could get her hands on. She was a tiny little thing, she was 38 months old, and still didn't talk. She didn't seem to know how to play, sing, or anything like that. Alexis was content to sit on the stairs, or in someone's lap and think! Or you would see her with a book in her hands, even upside down, aimlessly turning pages. I realized this child needed some socialization skills, so we managed to get a subsidized daycare placement for her. By October 1994 when Alexis was 3 yrs. 7 mos. of age, I retired from my job of almost 10 years, and stayed home to care for my granddaughter. I hoped the individual attention I would be able to give to her would help her develop better..
Joseph would bring Alexis at 6:30 in the morning and put her to bed with me. She usually would sleep until 9 or 10 a.m. Then I would feed, wash and dress her, do her hair and we would "play" as I attempted to teach her as much as I could before lunchtime. Despite eating so late in the morning, Alexis would always eat a huge lunch at 12 noon. About 1:00 p.m. we would walk to the daycare facility and she would spend the afternoon there. Her dad would get off work at 3:30, so he was supposed to pick her up by 4. As time went on, the daycare supervisor told me that Joseph had not paid her in over a month, and he rarely picked her up before 6 p.m. and owed her late fees. So, I started picking her back up about 5pm and wait for Joseph to come. After a while, I suggested that Joseph leave Alexis with us on Sunday night for the week, and pick her up on Friday afternoon. We suggested he come and visit her every night, and play with her, but to ensure she received proper sleep, thought maybe staying here from Sunday night to Friday afternoon might help. Joseph said he would continue to bring her on Monday mornings, but would leave her here until Friday afternoons. Therefore, she would spend 4 nights here, and 3 nights at home. This would ultimately save him money for food and bus fare. I told him I expected he would pay me to cover my expenses, which he agreed, but never did. The most important thing now was that she was out of the filth and neglect she lived in, at least for 4 nights and 5 days. Often Joseph and Alexis would stay on Friday nights for supper, too. Alexis began to gain weight and appear healthier because she was finally getting 3 meals a day. We didn't find out for years just how important this was for her. |
