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| Alexis began to flourish! Her personality started to emerge, and she seemed happy and playful. Yet, she had traits that left us puzzled. For instance, as she was so very thin, we fed her huge portions of healthy food on demand. I have never seen such a small child eat so much. If we went anywhere outside of the home, and there was food served, Alexis would eat more than 4 adults! She would eat absolutely anything - and if she wasn't eating, she had her thumb in her mouth. Her top teeth and the roof of her mouth were arched in a noticable horseshoe shape from extensive thumb sucking. The daycare situation was one of the best things for her. We tended to see Alexis as an outgoing little ham. Yet, as I observed her with the other children, it became apparent that she wasn't humourous by choice. She was acting much younger than the other children because she had rarely been socialized. I spoke to the owner about having her remain in daycare rather than starting Junior Kindergarten in September. They agreed that Alexis was not ready for school socially, and they would meet her educational needs within the daycare setting. Early 1995, shortly before her 4th birthday, Alexis contracted chickenpox. About the same time, shortly after she had recovered, one of the children in the daycare had 'touched' another child's bottom with a toy. So we were having regular talks in the home about 'good touch/bad touch' and things like that. One evening, my husband had Alexis sitting on the bathroom counter while he trimmed her hair, and I was there chatting with them both. She had just had a bath, so the topic of our bodies came up again. I don't remember all that was said, but I do remember hearing our granddaughter tell us something that stopped us dead in our tracks. She told us that her daddy had touched her vagina. (We used proper terms in our home, as my parents had done with me.) We clarified what she said, and it seemed apparent that she truly felt that her daddy had done what we were telling her nobody should do to her. So, we told her we were going to talk to daddy about this. Now, this terrified me as you might imagine. When my son was eleven or twelve years old, I had sent him to a different summer camp than in the past. After he came home, we spent some time at my sister's husband's family cottage. While we were there, he was charged with sexually molesting a 3 or 4 year old child in the cottage next door. He received a suspended sentence, partially due to his age, and also because I had taken him to counselling immediately. I never felt that my son was 'normal', and had consistently sought help for his violent and inappropriate behaviour when he was a youngster. After Alexis was born, my fears heightened, and all of us kept our eyes open for any signs, no matter how small, of abuse with her. Up until this point, we had no physical signs...only suspicion, and now the words of a child who was just barely learning to express herself. My husband and I held a family meeting and spoke with my daughter and her husband about what Alexis had said. While we were discussing how the situation should be handled, my other granddaughter came in and told us that Alexis told her that her daddy touched her vagina. We discussed it with both of the girls, and decided that my son-in-law, Rob would take the children for a few hours, and Terry, my daughter and I would confront Joseph. The meeting was scheduled for Saturday morning - Joseph's next visit. When Joseph arrived on Saturday morning, things were obviously somewhat tense. He picked up on it immediately, so we told him we needed to speak with him about something important, but Rob was going to take the kids, because we didn't want them involved in it. As soon as Rob left with the children we confronted Joseph with what Alexis told us. He seemed genuine when he at first appeared shocked, then scrambled for an explanation. The only thing he could think of, he told us, was when Alexis had a large chicken pox scab in her genital area and he put Calamine lotion on it. It seemed very plausible, although we had doubts, we had nothing to go on. So we told him that we would be watching him and her very closely, and if we saw ANY signs of abuse in any manner we would not speak with him again, we would just call the police. He was in total agreement. Afterwards, we just didn't know what to think. We decided that he would never again be left alone with her in our presence. In spring of that year (1995) I decided to go to Nova Scotia for just over 5 weeks to help my dad and his wife with their new campground and store, and to be away from home to deal with some pain issues from some injuries I had suffered in a car accident in Dec. 1993. I wanted my body to learn that I could live with the pain, and I knew that I would test this to the nth degree by helping out at the campground. I left on May 3, and Terror would drive out to join me for the last 2 weeks of the 38 days I would be away. I planned the trip for quite some time, so was able to ensure everything would be okay for Alexis at home as far as food and household supplies went. My daughter (who would mind Alexis while I was gone) and her husband also would be available to Joseph and/or Alexis in an emergency. Between my husband and my daughter, I felt everything would be under control for that short period. Boy, was I ever wrong! |
| Forgotten Past 4 |
