Q - What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A - Shoot him again
Q - How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A - When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q - What do you call the useless piece of skin at the end of a mans penis?
A - His body
Q - Why do little boys whine?
A - Because they are practicing to be men
Q - How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - three...one to screw it in and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q - What do you call a handcuffed man?
A - Trustworthy
Q - What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A - You didn�t hold the pillow down long enough.
Q - Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they�re born?
A - To knock the penises off the smart ones
Q - Why do men name their penises?
A - Because they don�t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions
Q - Why do female Black Widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A - To stop the snoring before it starts
Q - What is the best way to kill a man?
A - Put a naked woman and a six pack in front of him and tell him he can only pick one.
Q - Why do men whistle while they are sitting on the toilet?
A - It helps them to remember which end they need to wipe.
Q - What is the difference between men and women?
A - A woman wants one man to fill her every need, and a man wants every woman to fill his one need.
Q - How does a man keep his youth?
A - By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q - How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A - Rename the folder to "instruction manuals".
�Excuse me?� the bigger man replies. �You wished it on yourself?� �Yes� says the shorter man. �I�m a Leprechaun� �Well� says the bigger man, �can you wish me a bigger dick too then� To which the Leprechaun tells him �ofcourse, but you would have to let me have butt sex with you first, then I will wish you a 10 inch dick�
After thinking about it the big man decides nobody will ever notice yet the 10 inch dick will give him a life time of pleasures. So he does it. After letting the Leprechaun do him in the ass he is zipping up and says, �My God I cant believe I just did that.� The other man looks up at him and says �I cant believe you actually believed I was a Leprechaun!�