Lets hide under the covers... Maybe we'll fall asleep BEFORE we die...
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Step One -- Plant your area with large rose bushes. Make sure they are black or red roses with long sharp thorns, allow the bushes to grow out of control untill it looks overgrown and romanticly neglected. This shall be your bait.
Step Two -- When your prey walks into the trap, he/she will feel an overwlming desire to write poetry about it, if it is not poeticly inclinded, it will sit in the very center and contemplate death.
Step Three -- The fishnet, lace, or other material worn by the goth will become caught on the thorns of your trap, thus rendering it motionless. If you leave clove cigarettes within reach and pump Bauhas into the area you will keep your Goth fresh untill your semmi annual goth harvest.
Step One -- Dress in your best blaze black and carry a baseball bat. Arrive in an area with high Goth concentrations and mingle with your possible prey. Find a member of whichever sex your attracted to and lower it's defenses with Jello shots and other mind altering substances
Step Two -- If you are able to lure it outside with offers of sex do so. Otherwise knock it unconsious and tie it's wrists and ankels with it's own dog collars and bondage braceletsand sling over the hood of your car, be sure to tie down securly.
Step Three -- Go home and point to your rose-trap out in your yard and the bodies hanging from it and tell your capture that that could have been it, this should convince your goth to stay.
Step One -- Go to your nearest Goth Clud and use any means possible to get close to the DJ, then use a distraction to replace his Cd's with Spice Girls, Hanson, N'Sync and the Backstreet Boys. Put in your earplugs and wait it out.
Step Two -- When he plays the switched CD's, everyone in the club will fall to the ground in pain. They will eventually become limp and comatose.Walk amont them and take your pick.
Step Three -- Put it in your car and revive it with Sister of Mercy.The bubble-gum popexperience will have the affect of a frontal lobotomy. Goth's caught in this manner are extremly docile with a tendancy twoards drooling. Some may consider goths caught in this fassion "damaged" and will have a lesser value if you try to sell them.
