Augggh!!! Goth Juices!!!!
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Congrats! You have caught yourself a goth! But how do you know if it's that or a Mansonite, Spooky Kid, Quantum or something else? Use this checklist to make sure that it is what your looking for.... If not, throw it out into your Rose-Trap. If your catch matches these spec then you have yourself a keeper!
--Is sickened by the country-style decore of your kitchen
--It points out the window at your Rose-Trap and begins a long winded speatch about how the bodies in there are NOT goth.
--It is NOT goth
--You may not be able to tell it's gender at first glance.
--It wont shut up about some 80's bands
--You might end up drowning in ahnks.
HOWEVER, if your catch matches the following, you might as well been asleep... This wasnt what you were looking for.
--Wearing any Manson Clothing.
--Uber Ugly Makeup
--Gives an explanation of what Goth is with countless contradictions.
--Wearing Blue jeans, khakis or anything from the Gap
--Is a girl scout, salesman or Jehovas witness(the tend to get caught from time to time.)
--Sex Slave
--Turn it into a darker sort of lawn jockey
--Tiny Perky Goths make for nice lawn gnomes
--Goth's with big hair are good as Brooms and the like
--Edward Scissorhands II!
--Pretend it's your offspring to get you on talkshows.
--Test Subject...
--It will introduce you to the best people.
--It can help improve your trap(AKA Bait)
--Send it to buy bondage gear your too afraid to buy yourself.
--Make you feel so ver normal.