Ever watch 15 years of your life go up in flames?

That's what I did last night. I had this box of old love letters and such and I just decided it was time to let them go. I took them and put them inside a grill I have on my back deck and set them a flame. The funny thing is, that I was reading a few of them before they met their fiery fate and I came to another revelation. I thought that has you get older your feelings were supposed to become deeper and more intense, but for me it's been the opposite. My love used to run so deep back then, and now it seems that all is left is this dry riverbed. It's becoming more and more unclear what I am supposed to do next. The days are rushing by now and I just seem content on letting whatever happens happen. I haven't eaten in 2 days and already I'm starting to feel "different", I'm wondering what a few more days will feel like. I can't seem to focus on anything except the job at hand, which is getting all of my stuff together to go somewhere. The problem is it probably won't go anywhere. I was thinking of doing a craigslist thing and having an "apartment sale" and just sell off all the stuff I can to raise cash, this way I can at least get somewhere. I was thinking about what I could take and what I must leave behind. I still haven't decided that. I know that there are a few things that I cannot part with, yet there seems to be no way to accommodate all of it. I guess we all must learn to sacrifice.