I've been writing for awhile, but didn't get serious about it until just lately.
I went through the usual stages of writing terrible high school poetry which a lot of people never escape, either not evolving or not writing anymore. I was always more of a reader than a writer, with all the handicaps that that entails, such as having an extremely high reading comprehension level, anal-retentive spelling and grammar, a large vocabulary which never got used and the complete inability to define words out of context.
"I know how the words should look, but not why".
I ended up being very precocious and also pretentious at a young age. In fifth grade I had college level reading comprension, once they told me that, there was no stopping my ego. I was "smarter" than all the other kids.
Didn't take me long to figure out that that doesn't get you laid in high school.
Then I began to read more broadly, and gained an interest in the writer's motives rather than just an understanding of the story.
I lost interest in sex, stopped watching television, and began digging at my belly button with a screwdriver until it bled, which wasn't healthy behavior, but it felt so good!
I mean, then I joined the ARMY! (but have since rehabilitated myself).......or something
There are some nonlinear elements here, chronologically. (meaning I am a fuckup and wrote that backwards, or maybe it was meant to be Lynch-esque) uhhhh... it's a dream sequence, yeah!
So Anyway....
I took a good class once. Nobel Literature Laureates. Sometimes I feel I am still taking it. (in a good way)
It was a bit of an eye opener in that I can't believe it never occurred to me to get a list of Nobel prize
winning authors and read their books. what a simple idea, why didn't I think of that. Wow, they have a website? I must be even more simple than I thought, or rather didn't.
I found out I didn't really hate Herman Hesse, I just didn't understand him, same with Kenzaburo Oe, Gao Xingjian, Toni Morrison, Joseph Brodsky and others. They weren't pretentious dorks, only the dolts who namedropped them were. (like me, now)
Then I applied that to other parts of my life and realized I don't really hate humans, I just don't understand them! I'm finding out things about me! holy crap! who'da thought!
Then I fell in love with the next girl I met and suddenly I wasn't a cynic anymore.
I didn't even realized what had happened until after and had to backtrack and reason it out.
AH! life is good I thought, (so good in fact that I barely noticed that she didn't love me, and didn't really care)
It really didn't make a difference, because the damage was done. My strangled, romantic side had been broken open and all the hope and sunlight had run down into the cracks of my mind. or some other equally lame analogy.
I feel kind sorry for cynics sometimes now. They are really trapped people. Not like I don't like cynical humor anymore, (I like somethingawful.com way too much for that)
but people who, like I was, allowing themselves to be caged by other's indifference, bullied into not caring, and afraid to hope for good things out loud. Afraid to get naked and say whee!
HA HA! LOOK! It's Humanity! It's funny and sad. (sniffle)
This (relatively)crappy free website is a chance to showcase and/or archive my more recent works.
also putting them here makes it easier to get to them from school, which is important because I lose shit like a ruptured spleen bleeds nasty goo into your innards. (on the average, a floppy disk only has a 50% chance of arriving at any given destination with me).
Thats why I am fun to hang out with sometimes, because I hemorrhage cash and possessions until I am broke. (If I have any cash or possessions)
Not all of my poems can be called ""finished" (whatever that means)
but all of those here have been meticulously pored over and repeatedly revised. Generally they start out as a full page of writing, and I do have some which have been cut from a full page down to four lines
because I am a real bitch about extraneous language in writing, and will cut anything I don't need despite being a talky bastard in person. of course, if it's not an actual serious piece of writing, poetry, short story, whatever like now, I am liable to fill all the available space with an amazing amount of drek.
blah blah blah. like a virus as Agent Smith would say. (don't fucking get me started on that shit)
I abhore blah blah blah in my writing, it's self-indulgent and rarely adds.
OR Maybe I'm afraid people won't read the whole thing if it's too long, because I myself probably wouldn't.
(some people I know are good at that kind of dense, rich and complex writing. check out Luke Buckham for an example of this amazing feat)
WHY MOST OF MY POEMS ARE SHORT section
So I have a real respect for economy in writing, or any art really
any decent musician will tell you that the more complex your phrasing is, the less strenght it has and an Interior Decorator will warn you against the room being "too busy", same deal.
and I feel like over use of anything becomes gimmicky and hurts the writing.
So, although I have a love of alliteration, repitition, and broken rhythms, I try to avoid them unless I need them.
Plus I am not the kind of writer who is good enough pull off brilliance fully-formed right out of my ass unless it is by accident. So that's why my writing needs so much work/cutting/editing.
I actually need to work at it. (horrors!)
Did I mention that I hate David Lynch and prefer Cronenberg? No? Consider it done.