"Broadcasting to the Entire Universe"

The Oswego Picayune

Homepage of World Renowned Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo

My homepage is kind of minimal right now, as the government is involved in some kind of conspiracy coverup. They want to silence me because I have been alerting the outer world of the presence of McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth. He has sent Flügelrads commandeered by his henchmen, the Space Teddies and the Tonies of Troy, to monitor our world. For more information, check out the homepage of McBoo, the God of the Hollow Earth. There you will be told the legend of McBoo, and the reality that he is coming!! You will learn things that you never would have believed.....until now.

There is also a homepage for the Space Teddies. We have an extremely rare photo of a Space Teddy that was taken in McBoo's Hallway!! Hopefully we will have more photos of these enigmatic creatures in the future.

If you do not believe in the Hollow Earth or the Legend of McBoo, then check out this clip from the Oswego Picayune:

May 11, 1997

****Newsflash**** Oswego, NY-Today Investigative Reporter Yaz McBootm disappeared while investigating the Flügelrad that crash-landed on top of Cayuga Hall, at SUNY Oswego. Eyewitnesses say that they saw several black men, about 5'8", and a few slimy bog-monsters, kidnap the esteemed journalist onto a rescue UFO. Said local resident Joe Redneck: "Man, they were the foulest creatures I've ever seen! They were cursing vehemently and they just dragged this guy onto their ship. They said that once he had a nip of vodka, he was gonna be alright. It was like, far out, dude!" Mr. Redneck was promptly arrested for talking like a hippie. Other witnesses report hearing strange phrases coming from the craft, such as"I left home just a week before and I never kissed a woman before.." and "Well I been around, but I ain't never seen a guy who looks like a muppet but he's wrinkled and green." It is thought that these lines contain references to a well known hermit, possibly the one from Heligoland, Denmark. Metal Kent, of the Pomona Times, reports that inside sources reveal "Snitch"tm was abducted by the TeddyTroopers and TonyTroopers, the henchmen of McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth. He thinks that this is actually a plot on behalf of the government to silence the outspoken journalist, who has been revealing the presence of a race of higher beings within this planet. More details in the next issue of the Oswego Picayune, which will probably come out some time in September.

Here is a photo of the Flügelrad sent by McBoo to monitor Oswego. 
It came from the Hollow Earth opening in Lake Ontario.

Briarcliff Manor, NY - May 9, 2006
The Oswego Picayune has returned from the Underground with this special testimony from Field Reporter Agent CB: "I was part of the crew that demolished the college.  Saw a ghost of a female dressed in white standing on the second floor  while we were at work.  I knew some kids that attended college there and I visited a few times.  Lots of nice cells in the basement, I mean storage rooms. Katherine Durst's mustang was still in the woods of the main entrance topside. I had some really bizarre experiences there along with a lot of others.  We still keep in touch.  I stay in touch with the three females that I liberated from the electric chair zone.  Know much about an Operation Paperclip and the Nazis after WWII.  Big Pink Floyd fan??? Read the lyrics from the Dark Side of the Moon and connect the dots.  Everyone says that we made it all up, but I'm still listed as an honorary member of the Engineer club in town.  Good stuff!!!  You go Donald Trump!!!  Might want to have a peek inside of the water towers." Stay tuned for more details from the Electric Chair Zone! Donald Trump will be wrapping up Operation Paper Clip in short order.

Irvington, NY - May 15, 2000
This just in from Metal Kent of the Pomona Times!!! we �re unsure what to make of it, but read on...

***News Flash*** 
�Exclusive!! Metal Kent comes out of retirement to report on the new sightings of McBoo, and the apparent re-appearance of investigative reporter Yaz McBoo! Yaz McBoo!tmtm

�Yaz McBootm surfaces outside a secret entrance to the Hollow Earth in Pomona, California! "Snitch" tm was seen exiting the entrance wearing a WWII army uniform. I was able to talk to the reporter himself, and he had an incredible story. It goes as follows: While searching for the lost souls of Bill and Edna Hillbilly, Yaz McBoo tm was summoned by McBoo, god of the hollow, earth. McBoo enlightened Snitchtm that there were many things in this world that he did not know. For instance, the moon and the earth are connected by a trans-galactic hold in the Bermuda Triangle. Snitchtm tells us that McBoo sent him back in time to WWII to fly planes over Germany so that the Germans wouldn't find out the secret of the Flügelrads . While being chased, he flew into the Bermuda Triangle and entered a trans-galactic hold and crashed his WWII fighter plane on the dark side of the moon. This is why Snitchtm was wearing the uniform.tm surfaces outside a secret entrance to the Hollow Earth in Pomona, California! "Snitch" tm was seen exiting the entrance wearing a WWII army uniform. I was able to talk to the reporter himself, and he had an incredible story. It goes as follows: While searching for the lost souls of Bill and Edna Hillbilly, Yaz McBoo tm was summoned by McBoo, god of the hollow, earth. McBoo enlightened Snitchtm that there were many things in this world that he did not know. For instance, the moon and the earth are connected by a trans-galactic hold in the Bermuda Triangle. Snitchtm tells us that McBoo sent him back in time to WWII to fly planes over Germany so that the Germans wouldn't find out the secret of the Flügelrads. While being chased, he flew into the Bermuda Triangle and entered a trans-galactic hold and crashed his WWII fighter plane on the dark side of the moon. This is why Snitchtm. . . . . .

�More to come!�

Amazing!! - ed. .

Tarrytown, NY - May 15, 2000
Things did not pan out well over at the Irvington Examiner, and after a years � layoff, we are back with a vengeance here at The Picayune! Here is the latest sample of hate-mail we have received, by government agents trying to intimidate us into submission:

Your entire fabrication of the Amityville Horror is both retarded and insulting, I live on Long Island, about an hour East of Amityville and for you to make a mockery of what has become a Long Island Legend is insulting eventhough the movie sucked and the book was okay, we still like to tell this story around camp fires to teenages and to scare people who don't know about it, and for you to make fun of it I think you are an idiot, plain and simple an idiot.
-courtesy of VBila

Long Islanders, long regarded as a lower form of human race, have been known to not have a sense of humor. We tend to brush these kinds of insults a side the same way a parent would humor a kid who leaves milk and cookies out for Santa. Apparently sarcasm has yet to make its way out to the Island. -ed. 

Irvington, NY- March 22, 1999
Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo tm has lately been on reconnaissance, looking for purported entrances to the fabled Hollow Earth. Before Yaz' time, the only known entrances were at the North and South poles; "Snitch," tm however, has discovered entrances in Oswego, NY and Irvington, NY. Metal Kent has identified an opening in a black mountainside near Pomona, California. This spate of discovery no doubt has something to do with the free time on the hands of these gentlemen. Now research has led Yaz to Rotterdam, NY, where his latest efforts have uncovered a mysterious hatchway in the middle of an open field. Here's a new photograph of the esteemed journalist at work, his face distorted to block his true identity from the government:

Irvington, NY- March 9, 1999
New Pics !!!Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo tm has just returned from a top-secret mission to locate and "out" the Space Teddies. He has taken photographs of the strange beings, reportedly descendants of ancient Venusians who settled in the interior regions of our planet. Here are two of the pictures:

These pictures are guaranteed authentic, and have not been doctored in any way. We now have indisputable proof of these alien beings from the Hollow Earth. Tell all your friends, so they can read about it in the next issue of the Irvington Examiner.

Irvington, NY- January 14, 1999
Several McBoo-type airships were seen in the skies today above Shecky�s Gas Station, inducing the local population into a frenzy. The excitement began around 3 pm, when the local pizza is rumored to taste best. Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo tm was on the scene and he heard this from witness TH Woodman, who refused to tell us what his middle initial stood for: "I seen it with my own eyes!!..That motherfucker was big as a football field! The other one was big as that cup!!" The airships, presumably...Not a sound was heard to be emitted by the mysterious craft, which hovered slowly for a few minutes, before vanishing, supposedly after going into warp-drive. Such excitement is indeed big news in this town, which is still recovering from the "Rushneck Pontiac Shootout." More news in the next edition of the Irvington Examiner...

Oswego, NY-December 16, 1998
This strange letter has just been brought to the attention of the Oswego Picayune. We are not quite sure what to make of it, but we think it might apply to us. Here goes:

"It should be borne in mind that the tendency of civilization in our modern society is to fetter and cramp the growth of personality into the well-worn rut of mediocrity, assailing with the mad-dog cry of "crank!" every soul that chafes under conformity to its meretricious show of style, and thinly veiled-hypocrisy, marshaled by cant."

Oswego, NY-December 1, 1998
The Oswego Picayune has just received this startling letter detailing activities heretofore unbeknownst to Special Investigations Reporter Yaz McBootm. Here is the full text:

"I don't know what people thinks about your page! I'm just glad you warned me about this "invasion". My petty-pet dog named Kipkolo-Koukoukbabwan� (African puppy) was abducted recently. I found him back in my dryer. Is that possible that the Teddies or the Tonies had abducted my dog??? Do you think they raped him ? He acts so strange! Since he's back, he doesn't want to play chess anymore or to act in "Hamlet" as we had planned. I feel depressed, what can I do to help him ??? Are the Tonies and Teddies real bad ? Can we kick them in the nuts ???"

-from the Potato Man

"Snitch"tm suggests that this is not cause for alarm, and readers should not flood Jerry Springer's phone lines for help as they did when it was announced that Eddie Vedder would shave his head and convert to the ancient mysticysm of Frotolgy after changing his name to Needs McTorhan. The Teddies are really a race of friendly beings who just get a little excited when a good- looking female walks their way. Long-haired hippies are warned to stay away from the Tonies of Troy however, or risk having a 2 by 4 being thrown their way.

Also new is a previously unreleased letter from the vaults of the Oswego Picayune, this one from EEL:

"I firmly believe someone from somewhere is sharing their technology with us. When I was 12, three of my friends and I witnessed a material aircraft like nothing that has been proven to exist today. It swooped just 10 feet over our heads at an incredibly slow speed, no wind, no heat, & only a low frequency HUM to please our audible perception. Then, as it began to gain altitude after the swoop, it transformed into a three to four foot diameter ball of very bright light and left at warp speed. I don't know if we were beamed up Scottie, but I still feel an influence. I think you believe in this phenomenom and was delighted to read how you poked fun at the truth with such style. The hollow earth theory is a new one on me. Recently I met someone who is very intelligent 62 yrs old. He told me about the hollow earth theory. This guy claims to be able to take out of body trips to anywhere and anything, has flown in saucers to the secret alien base in Mount Ranier. Now I firmly believe that he believes everything he says."

You may think this dude is wacked-out, but we think he has his shit straight... In fact, we just bought tickets on the next saucer to Mount Rainier!! More details in the next issue of the Oswego Picayune.

Oswego, NY-May 4, 1998
The Oswego Picayune has been sold following an all-out bidding war between Rupert Murdoch and Neil Harawayne Industries. The paper has gained notoriety in recent years, due to the activities of Investigative reporter Yaz McBootm. The government has tried, but to no avail, to censor this paper as "Snitch" tm has been hot on the trail of the Space Teddies, henchmen of the peace-loving McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth. "It's really all in good faith," said the esteemed journalist, "All McBoo wants to do is warn the world against the use of nuclear weapons. That's why He has sent the Flügelrads. The spate of UFO sightings since the end of World War II is no coincidence. We are being monitored to make sure we don't destroy our planet." The government of the United States takes such a hard-line anti-peace stance as it wishes to keep alive the military-industrial complex. Thousands of people will be out of jobs if the military shuts down. They will have to get real jobs, instead of buliding faulty super-secret bombers that fall apart in certain weather conditions. What this all means is that the Oswego Picayune will be shutting down. Said Mr. Mohammed ali Harawayna upon his purchase of the paper: "You're all fired!! That's why I hired you!!" He stated that he's ruined every single institution he's worked for, so Mr. Harawayne figured he'd just as well shut down the Picayune before he got a chance to really fuck it up. "I never liked that Yaz McBoo tm jerk anyway, he never listened to my fatherly advice!" The Oswego Picayune hopes to resume operations in September, when Mr. Harawayne will sell the operations and move on to fuck up elsewhere.



Oswego, NY-January 23, 1998
Investigative Reporter Yaz McBootm, after a one-month investigation in Irvington, New York, has revealed that McBoo, God of the Hollow earth, is infiltrating our world by using aliases. Owing to the fact that "McBoo" is universally recognized, the God has used nicknames that appear to be foreign translations. A strange craft was seen parked outside the Irvington High School. It appeared to be a regular brown van, but had the words "Knulen | McBu" and "Kid Monius" written on the sides. Said "Snitch"tm, "This is the doing of the God McBoo and his evil henchemen, the Tonies of Troy. They are the ones responsible for the giant squid that have killed 20 sea-going travelers off the coast of Brazil. McBoo is ready for world domination, and will do so in the seventh month of the year 1999, unless Bill Clinton stops having sex with his dog 'Buddy', really an agent of the Hollow Earth peoples sent to spy on the United States government." Please refer to upcoming editions of the Oswego Picayune for further insight, or post your opinions to the editors. We'll print you letter. Sure we will....


Oswego, NY-October 16, 1997
Today, the legendary Investigative Reporter Yaz McBootm discovered the lost Kingdom of the Frankenheimers, the Oswego Picayune has learned. "Snitch"tm found this civilization, described in the Bible as an ancient tribe of beings that descended from the heavens above, while searching for the reputed entrance to the Hollow Earth in the backwoods of Irvington, New York. The Frankenheimers are led by a mythological being known only as "Fronker", who is believed to be kept company by a harem of young adolescent females. It is known that if one takes the Hollow Earth entrance from the Island of Heligoland, formerly an Atlantean fort, it will arrive at the woods near the Irvington Reservoir, where the Frankenheimers have lived in isolation for millenia. Rumor has it that the Frankenheimers like to dress up as Dave Grohl and kill rock stars, while selling illicit subastances for a living. They are known for their habit of sitting on their steps and eating pizza all day, while scouting out potential "business". More details in the next issue of the Oswego Picayune.


Irvington, New York-September 23, 1997
Today, a deranged killer mutant bog monster was seen assaulting a local vendor in full view of Main Street. "I was just walking down the street selling my homemade buttons when I was attacked by the foul beast," said long-time local resident Johann Stolting. "He threw a 2 by 4 at me and cursed me vehemently for having long hair. I told him it was Atlantean custom, and that he was pissing me off, and he said `It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on!!' Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo tm was on the scene, and he believes that the Hermit was attacked by a race of beings from the Hollow Earth that have been infiltrating Irvington. "This was definitely the work of the infamous Tony Troopers (aka "Tonies of Troy"). Plus I saw an unidentified black man standing on the corner in front of "This 'n' That " drinking his coffee. This suspicious observer was actually a Space Teddy. McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth is at work in Irvington," said the esteemed investigative reporter. More details to follow...

This article faithfully reproduced from the "Irvington Examiner."


Oswego, New York - September 21, 1997
McBoo, the God of the Hollow Earth, has an illegitmate son who has infiltrated our society, the Oswego Picayune has learned today. Our inside sources have revealed that this love child is a youth living in the Hudson Valley region of New York State. We do not know what his mission is here on earth, but he is rumored to be in cahoots with a Space Teddy that is believed to have infiltrated a janitorial position in Irvington, New York. Investigative Reporter Yaz McBoo tm is rumored to have spent two months investigating this case, but did not come to this earth-shattering conclusion until recently. For more details on the bastard youth, check out the Pomona Times. Beat writer Metal Kent has the inside scoop on this amazing revelation.


Oswego, NY-September 1, 1997
Today, a dazed and awkward looking Yaz McBootm was found wandering the shores of Lake Ontario, not far from the campus of SUNY Oswego. He was last seen in May being abducted by a band of Space Teddies and Tony Troopers, the henchmen of McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth. The world renowned private investigator was heard muttering unitelligible phrases, but unconcerned passers-by reportedly heard him shouting "Young Stupid Motherfuckers!!!" and "Pop-pop I love you, hugs and kisses!!". When the ambulance arrived to take him to a mental institution, "Snitch"tm was nowhere to be found. It is believed he may have been "erased" by government agents wishing to cover up the news of beings within the Hollow Earth. More details to follow.

New News!!-The Oswego Picayune has learned the Truth behind the Amityville Hauntings!

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Comments from our readers!!

"You're a fucking nut."

"The style of writing on your page...reminded me, and was the same caliber of one of my favorite sickos Frank Zappa."

-EEL

We appreciate letters from sharp-minded readers like EEL, people that understand what this page is really all about. But here is a letter from some fisherman with no sense of humor:

"Yaz McBoo,
While reading your page on the story of Amityville, I come to the conclusion that you are full of s#%$! Whether you do or do not believe in the story is your opinion, but giving out info then in the end just making it all up is absurd. if you really had info on this house, then you would know it wasn't a joke and would take it more seriously.

Sincerely,

M & F"

(ed. response): "Get out of here you hosers!! My name is Neil Harawayne and you're all fired!!"

Here's another one, this from Geronjimo!

"You are a crazy idiot and you at anytime made no point in this useless page of rambling GET HELP WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

It's nice to know that there are many people in this country who enjoy reading, I just wish that we could get a few of them to use their brains at the same time. It is really sad that our education system does not teach people to think.

Thanks for the letters, and keep on reading! We encourage all readers to make their feelings known to the Oswego Picayune and the Pomona Times. Thank You.

Copyright ©2006  by Yaz McBoo and Metal Kent. 
All rights reserved. "Yaz McBoo" is a trademark.

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DANGER!! Do not play McBoo on or around the FO!!

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