The Amityville Horror
October 27, 1997-Oswego, NY
Investigative reporter Yaz McBoo
tm has discovered the true story behind the Amityville Horror, the Oswego Picayune has learned today. After exhaustive research, the famous journalist discovered that the house was built over an entrance to the Hollow Earth. Residents of the house have reported seeing a large pumpkin shaped being, and said that the house often smelled of coffee and donuts. They also said that Swisher Sweets cigar wrappers would show up in various places, when they had not been there moments before. Other phenomena include strange voices in the middle of the night, which where apparently foul, boisterous cursing. "Snitch"tm believes that the house was infested with beings from the Hollow earth, who apparently just wanted to welcome the new residents and make them feel at home. No phenomena have been reported since the 1970's, because the legendary reporter believes that McBoo, God of the Hollow Earth, had his feelings hurt when the new owners would not accept his goodwill, and that McBoo has since left Amityville for locations unbeknowst. Here is the Previously Unreleased drawing by the young girl from Amityville of the pumpkin-shaped being that inhabited her house. More details in the next issue of the Oswego Picayune.
Copyright © 1997 by Yaz McBoo. All rights reserved.