| Svan, How D'Ya Tell If A Goat's "Willing" Or Not? |
| Well. What an excellent question. Unfortunately there is no clear-cut way telling if a goat is "willing" or "unwilling". Luckily for you lot I am in fact one of the world's leading experts in this field. |
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| I presume many of you have absolutely no idea what a "willing" goat looks like, have you? Therefore the obvious thing to do would be to show you what a "willing" goat looks like, here goes: |
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| Isn't she a beauty? This is Clara. I met her whilst I was on holiday in Africa last Summer. She's a Kenyan Safari Goat - these are a rare bread of which only several are living today. The red mark on her face is a tribal badge which indicates that the goat is sacred and must not be sacrificed under any circumstances. |
| So why exactly is Clara any more "willing" than the goats' asses you saw earlier? There are in fact many, many, many give away signs which tell the observer that Clara is actually "willing". |
| Here are those give away signs: (a) Clara is showing off her sacred red badge - many goats do this to flirt with one another and also to show that they are in fact "willing". (b) Clara is extremely clean - this has long been recognised by experts of the trade as a sign of "willingness". (c) Her legs are upright - i.e. there are no bends in them. Although this is not a world-wide recognised give away sign of "willingness", after several years of intense study, I have found it a useful term of determination. |
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| This goat here is the lovely Bart. He's 4 years old and lives on a farm in northern Scotland. He is quite a character and has attempted to escape from his croft on no less than 3 occasions. |
| However, in the photo here [left] he just isn't "willing". Despite his bubbly personality Bart is often an "unwilling" goat!! |
| These are the dead-ringer features of an "unwilling" goat: (a) Bart is showing his front 2 teeth. This, although you may think it is only a bugs bunny impression, is actually a sign that he is "unwilling". (b) His tail is up in the air - when a dog does this you know there is something wrong - its the same when a goat does it - he's "unwilling". |