1-6-04 - New Year's in NOLA, Vol. 2
1-3-04 - New Year's in NOLA, Vol. 1
12-24-03 - Presents and Predictions
12-11-03 - Baytown Nights
10-3-03 - A Night in D.C.
10-2-03 - Thoughts
10-1-03 - Some Movie Reviews
Archives
So it was supposed to be a quiet night to catch up with an old friend...our beloved Deepa was in town, so Rob and I thought we might catch up with her for an hour or so. I was still in recovery from New Orleans, and had been averaging a paltry four hours of sleep a night (not my fault, pinky swear). I did not want to deal with a lot of commotion. We played poker all afternoon so I knew Blake and Alex were joining us, but I didn't expect a group bigger than 6 or 7. So imagine my surprise when I showed up to BW-3 a half an hour late to find a table full of practically everyone I have ever known, including such column favorites such as Blake, Alex, Michelle, Chien, Liz, Hari, Susan COLUMN BREAK!!!!!! Susan, are you engaged? Let be the first to say "Where the fuck did that come from?" OK, BACK TO THE ORIGINAL COLUMN TOPIC...Although I love all of these people, I already began to dread that the night had potential to spiral out of my control. To prove that I was already tuned in to the night's vibe, a BW-3 employee announce "If you drive a green Pontiac Bonneville, your car is being towed." More resigned to an overwhelming sense of the inevitable than actually angry, I went out to (read in a Teddy KGB accent) "pay...the man...his money". Reentering the bar with a renewed sense of pessimism, I slunk down next to Alex assuring myself I wasn't going to drink. Until he offered to buy me a beer. As Rob says, a guy can never turn down a free beer without calling his manhood into question. Once the beer hit my lips, the night
1) "Clark Gable" - The Postal Service
2) "Sister Savior" - The Rapture
3) "Hearts of Oak"- Ted Leo
4) "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" - Rufus Wainwright
5) "Amateur" - Nada Surf
6) "Inertia Creeps- Massive Attack
7) "Dreaming" - Loudon Wainwright III
8) "Aveda" - Hot Hot Heat
9) "Say Yes" - Elliot Smith
10) "KC Accidental"- Broken Social Scene
Descriptions
Han's Bierhaus - A bar area that would fit into my living room with a slightly smaller backroom that allegedly has bras hanging on the wall (I never made it back there) Out back, there are two full bocchi ball courts that are the main attraction of the place.
Bocchi Ball - A game that is played with one small ball, and different colored sets of four heavier, larger balls in a long sand pit. --CHEAP JOKE ALERT-- Sorta like what happens when Jeff goes to the beach with Rob and I!!!! HAHAHA...I slay me. Anyways, the smaller ball is tossed at least halfway down the sand pit. The object of the game is to get your balls to land as close to the smaller balls as possible. If your ball is the closest, you get one point. If you get two balls closer than anyone else's closest you get two points. And so on.
For our game, we divided up into teams so more people could play (Hari was smart enough to sit out):
Team 1
Alex
Glenn
Team 2
Michelle
Jimmy
Liz
Team 3
Blake
Chien
With the teams randomly decided upon, we proceeded to play the first few rounds of the game. The game was fun on its own, but it was immediately apparent that the stakes needed to be raised. Someone mentioned that we needed to place a bet and Michelle suggested the possibility that the winning team had to kiss the last place team for five seconds. I pointed out the Jimmy dilemma (he would have no motivation, except to finish second) so he decided to move over to team 2. With the stakes agreed upon, I acted with the insticts of a former quarterback (well, in 8th grade). I called a guys huddle. Alex and I offered Blake and Jimmy $5 each if they agreed to come in second. We would proceed to lose on purpose, allowing Michelle and Liz to win first place. Full proof plan, right? Well, yes, if Alex and I weren't completely intoxicated dumbasses. How quickly do you think they caught on to our plan? Could it have been when I through a ball completely out of the pit? Or when Alex threw a ball backwards? Or how about when I just dropped the ball at my feet? Or maybe when Alex tossed me the ball off to the side of the pit? Needless to day, the girls weren't ready to give up their chastity that easily. Pretty soon, the game devolved into all three teams attempting to throw the game. After one game of this, we all decided that we needed to renegotiate the terms of the bet. I came up with the idea that the winning team got to choose who kissed who made out with who...for a total of fifteen seconds. Below the belt was ruled off limit, but everything else was fair game. At this point, Jimmy made the choice to bow out and Chien eagerly agreed to replace him. In retrospect, this was a somewhat risky bet. We figured that we had only about a twenty percent chance of having to kiss the other guys (Alex had already called Blake) because although we would be competing with each other, we would also be trying to knock the girls balls out of position when necessary. That said, our risk was infinitely higher than their's...if they lost, worst that would happen is that they'd have to kiss a nice boy...or Chien. Worst case scenario for us could potentially include months of therapy. With that said, all parties agreed and the game was on. First team to three points gets the spoils. By this point in time, we had the attention of the entire bar. We were officially those people, so the pressure was on to avoid making out with Chien in public.The first game was tight and hotly contested. After each team had thrown all of their balls, I was left with one remaining ball to throw. We already had the closest ball, so we were guaranteed one point if I just dropped the last ball and didn't accidentally knock our ball out of position. If I did knock our ball out of position, Liz and Michelle would get a nearly insurmountable lead. Although Alex suggested I lay up, I boldly through for the green. With the accuracy of a Greg Maddux or Dan Marino (like the mixed mentaphors?) I dropped my ball in close to the mini ball. With that, Alex and I began to celebrate with chest bumps and high fives. Alex/Glenn 2-0-0. With a nearly insurmountable lead, it was just a matter of time before we collected our prizes. Alex dropped our final ball in near the miniball, Liz and Blake threw wide, and we had ourselves a shutout victory. Alex and I proceeded to conference to divide the spoils...it really wasn't too hard. Alex and Liz lived together (not to mention the whole best friend thing), so Alex would kiss Michelle and I would kiss Liz. Hari positioned himself with the camera, and Blake counted down to start the timer on his stopwatch. The next few seconds were lost to me, but from what I can gather, Michelle kept swinging Alex around to avoid the camera. I guess there was some cheering from the peanut gallery. and when I finally heard the word stop, Alex and I were all smiles. A few minutes later, Blake pulled me aside and told me he had something to show me. He whipped out his stopwatch, which very clearly read 45 seconds. Now that is a true friend.
BTW, I wouldn't be so crass as to post the pictures Hari took, would I? Without a doubt. Liz and I, Alex and Michelle . Alex was bored and updated this picture, titling it "What it Felt Like". Amazing how reminiscient that is of Caroline and Luke.*****ONE MORE NOTE**** Alex emailed me and accused me of being to intoxicated to remember the night correctly. He says the night climaxed like this. Guess I was wrong, that looks like indisputable evidence to me.
