It is a sad fact that I am about as likely to finish law school and work for a big corporate firm as Alex is to hook up with Caroline. Loosen the grip there, Spuds. I'm even starting to come to terms with the fact that I will likely never be as wealthy as most of my friends. But if I do someday chance on that lucky lottery ticket, I will try to remember those of you who have bought me a drink along the way. With that in mind, here is what I would buy all of you for Christmas if cost and practicality were not an object:
Alex - a entry fee to a WSOP satellite
Blake - your groove back...wait, this is a few weeks too late
Caroline - an opening slot on an Old 97's tour
Chien - a diploma
Chris - a mistress
Hari - a stock car to play around with
Jeff - a girlfriend who doesn't put up with your crap
Jennifer - a year off with funds to travel
Jeremy - continued willpower
Jon - a better older brother
Kevin - play
Leigh - the real answers to the questions you were asking me the other night
Liz - Me, in a big red bow
12-11-03 - Baytown Nights
10-3-03 - A Night in D.C.
10-2-03 - Thoughts
10-1-03 - Some Movie Reviews
9-24-03 - Glenn's Thoughts
9-22-03 - Austin City Limits
9-17-03 - Jeremy's Guest Column
Archives
1) "Don't Fear the Reaper" - Blue Oyster Cult
2) "Orange Sky" - Alexi Murdoch
3) "Reptilia"- The Strokes
4) "Don't Give Up On Me" - Solomon Burke
5) "Blue Christmas" - Bright Eyes
6) "Saint Simon- The Shins
7) "Molly's Chambers" - Kings of Leon
8) "I Luv U" - Dizzee Rascal
9) "God Loves Ugly " - Atmosphere
10) "Rock Hard Times"- The Eels
Michelle - a guy/girl as sharp and sexy as you are
Rizzo - a Hoop-it-Up title (or at least a 2nd place plaque)
Rob - A better best friend.
Sarah - in the immortal words of Elvis Costello, Peace. Love and Understanding
Susan - a hunting license and a Ford F-150
And now, a few predictions for 2004, Letterman style:
10) Alex, Rob, or Hari will put me in the hospital after I accidentally talk shit when I have had a little too much to drink.
9) Chris/Amy will realize I was kidding above.
8) Hari will make a couple of million, and finace a Vegas weekend...please.
7) Jeff WILL get a girlfriend, and become instantly more boring
6) No one will hook-up within our group ever, ever again....after the full blown orgy on January 20th.
5) Jeremy, Rob, or Dave will be engaged by the time the year is out.
4) I will get everybody to start calling Blake "Goose".
3) I'll publish an online hook-up chart, and will have no friends left.
2) Kevin will end the longest dry spell this side of Boston.
1) I will get myself published, somewhere.