Well, I just moved to Monterey California, and assumed residence in a house that sits on the fairway of a par five (#6 at Pacific Grove Municipal). Actually, there is a road in between, but no other houses. On the other side of the course is the Pacific Ocean, nice view, but if I am standing in my front yard gazing out with a dazed look it is not a longing for the sea.
I moved my gear in the house on 28th of July. That is when I found the Titlest 2 (Pro V1 * 392) in the side yard, by the driveway. I was looking for it only because it had just bounced unceremoniously off the U-Haul trailer I was unloading. The 29th I stopped by to get something I forgot (I could not actually take the residence until the first) and found a Pinnacle 1 (Power 392) in the front yard, right beneath the broken window, and a Pinnacle 2 (Gold LS) in the hedge. The 30th I stopped by for two minutes and found nothing, but yesterday, the first, I had a Staff 3 (SMART-CORE SPIN DISTANCE) land in the front yard just behind the hedge.
Well, as of the 2nd of July, I did not find any balls today, but I saw a Japanese looking fellow tee off as I started walking my dingo. I saw it go over Mac and me, the take a couple of good hops off the road bounce off my driveway, over a protective fence and DONK!! off the neighbors house roof. Immediately following I told the Japanese looking fella that he could play 'em off the lawn, but if they land in the living room he needs to take a drop. He replied in very broken English, "Bad trees!" I checked later and managed to dig a Titlest 2 (DT 100) out of the hedge, but it had been there for a while. I bet if I ever get the itch I can dig two or three dozen out of there!!
I wonder what the measure is from the tee box to my lawn. I wonder how many bounce off the road, trees or other objects before coming to rest here.
July 3rd and 4th had no startling impacts. I did find a ball mark on the lawn though, so I suspect someone had the balls (pardon the pun) to retrieve their own. July 5th brought me a present. A Titlest 3 with no other markings damn near killed my dog. We were in the BACK yard having a little chase when this ball coming almost straight down hits the side fence and the chunks itself in the pea stones without so much as even a bounce. McGuire was a healthy two feet to the south or he may have been a puppy skin rug. What tends to frighten me is that every ball that has come to visit while I am home finds it�s way near me. No one has hit the carport while I am in the bedroom, or hit the hedge while I am out back. They know, they are coming to get me.
Why is it that you yell �four� or �fore� or whatever it is? I yell, �LOOK OUT!!!� Not that I need to yell all that often, but it happens. When a rock is hurtling through space, it is an asteroid. Let it enter our atmosphere and it is a meteor. Hit something and it is a meteorite. I think a golf ball in fair play is just a golf ball. When a shot seems to go wrong then it becomes a �Meaty-Fore�. If it is a dribble, there is no need to yell, so only bad shots with some meat behind them get the yell. If that Meaty-Fore lands somewhere innocent, that is equivalent to burning up in the atmosphere; you remember watching it, but it caused no harm. When it does hit a person, car, deck, animal, window or come to rest where everyone knows it was a dangerous shot, the Meaty-Fore becomes a �Meaty-Fore-ite� (pronounced Meaty-Fright), because it can scare the hell out of you!! So from now on when the jack asses come over and say, �have you seen my ball?� I will say no based on the fact that it ceased being a ball several seconds before.
Now we are on fire. It is now mid afternoon on the 5th of July. BANG!!! Dog freaks out, I look for terrorists. Had I been in bed that one would have brought out the 12 gauge. As it was I was in the living room eating lunch and the Meaty-Fore-ite struck the external wall two inches above the window, two and a half feet above my head. (These Meaty-Fore-ites have a mind of their own I tell ya!) I realized before long that it was a Meaty-Fore shower, and looking in the driveway I see a Meaty-Fore-ite bouncing around (another Pinnacle 1 (Power 392), perhaps the same fellow that broke the front window?) But when I went out to retrieve it I realized it is not the seventh, or even the eighth, it is the ninth. The fourth one so far today!
Seven and eight: I did not see or hear them, but I found one (call it seven since I heard a noise earlier that may correlate if it was not a direct hit) in the side yard right next to the driveway when I was looking for newest one. It is a Titlest 1 (HVC Tour). On the other side of the house there was one (call it eight) near the fence that I judge was caught by the neighbors protective screen and kicked back to me. Final destination, my yard� I can keep it and count it. STRATA 0 (Tour Professional 90).
So far, I think I can say that some people need to buy the cheaper balls and save money for lessons. Titlest are expensive!!
On the golf course website there is a fact that 85,000 rounds are played here each year. That means 85,000 rounds are fired off the 6th tee. 85,000 rounds/364 days (closed Christmas)=233.5 rounds per day, times 8 days I have been here=1868 rounds. Of which 9 have been in the yard, not bad, about .5%, I feel a little better now. I will recalculate periodically for you.
The RUNNING TOTALS below will be continually updated, but the text will be added on new pages.
I lied, I stopped doing this crap because it was too hard, and I am too lazy. These numbers are old, but fairly representative for the percentages.
As of Thanksgiving have too many balls to count. I play at
least a round a week, lose my share, and never have a shortage of good
balls. Recently on the course, I found a good three dollar
ball. I gave it to a buddy because I don't use that brand. I
was labeled an official "BALL-SNOB". Anyway, well over 100
balls later I stopped counting. I am removing the calculations,
because they are neither funny nor informative anymore. |
