Well, I have not been on here in several months now for a good rant. I have been sending out various hash and trash through the email to anyone that would not delete it and block my address. I will try to post a lot of those now. Some may be out of order and some may have approximate dates or no date at all. Even with dates some may be out-dated, sorry, you are reading this for free, quit looking the gift horse in the mouth.
Actually,
I think you SHOULD look a gift horse in the mouth, but that is besides the
point. A
quote from a friend going off on politics of the inconsistent left, circa
September 11, 2002:
"The crisis with Iraq and 9/11 prove the left, while having some excellent questions, possess few answers to serious crisis. They want to "Save Tibet" (my personal favorite) yet they offer no means to do so. Would it be through military intervention? But wait, the US military is their enemy! How about economic sanctions against China? No, ten years of frustration with Iraq prove that path is barren! Oh well, lets just design a bumper sticker and pray Tibet will be saved. Damn, the left doesn't pray, but wait, if Tibet is free then the Dali Lama will return to power. That means a theocracy!
What twits!"
Near the end of March 2003 some potato heads started playing bullet sucker for terrorists, my thoughts:
(Unfortunately the referenced article is now archived and you will have to pay if you want to read it.)
Today's Top Ten List
1. Wow, human shields can get hurt?
2. Where the fuck is Evergreen State?
3. Wearing a brightly colored vest is not protection in the combat zone?
4. Several other Americans were killed by Palestinian suicide bombers, let me go defend Palestinians... duh.
5. Why was she not working her way through college? How did she afford this, were mom and dad paying for her weed, uh, I mean tuition?
6. We provide Israel with bulldozers?
7. There were British and American protestors, the French are to pussy to actually DO something.
8. Under a bulldozer is about the safest place to be with Palestinians around.
9. This should NOT be a message to Bush, if this was one of 'his own people' she would not have been supporting the terrorist state of Arafat's Palestine!
10. We called on Israel to avoid harming civilians, they are doing that by routing out terrorists in the Palestine organization, sorry Corrie.
I forget what caused this little tirade, but it is one more reason I will never be elected president...
"Greenpeace is a crock-of-shit, good-for-nothing, bunch of dope-smoking fags trying to find something to protest because their acid-tripping, dick-sucking parents never slapped them; and now that the Vietnam War is over these puke-faced babies do not want to get real jobs or help society, they just want a 'cause' to sing Kumbaya for while driving around in Daddies Beemer holding hands with their NAMBLA friends.
"I wanted to continue but I was out of breath; anyway you get the picture. I feel better now."
If I go to hell, it will not be in a liberal's hand basket.
OK, some crazy bitch drove her car into a quarry with the kids in the backseat. Ban automobiles...
Some REALLY crazy bitch drowned her five kids in the tub. I say we ban bathtubs! (By the way, all who use post-pardom (spelling?) depression as a viable excuse for this, come to my house, I want to hold you under water until you have a revelation...)
My shotgun is loaded with three rounds, and there are three more in the case with it, yet I have never committed a crime. Perhaps, instead of banning handguns, or bathtubs, or Buicks, we should ban motherhood, since so many mothers are killing their children... Besides, ALL killers have mothers, relatively FEW killers use guns. Apply common sense to this world. And don't break into my house.
All you little creeps out there that want to sue the gun industry should work on enforcing the gun laws already in existence, more laws do no good unless we enforce them. Do all the 'Mothers of America' know that the Brady Bill was championed by Brady's wife, and enacted into law ensuring new, tougher gun purchase laws? In 2001, Mrs. Brady was in violation of this law, not buying a gun for self defense - SHE ILLEGALLY PURCHASED A 30-06!! This is a high powered (elk/moose hunting type) gun, which her pet law regards as a 'sniper rifle'.
Why is she not in jail? Because new laws do nothing, we need to enforce the ones we have. Her new law was so restrictive and confusing, even she could not follow it. New laws only hamper the people that follow them, like me. A new law will not make a gang-bangin' murderer sit back and say, "Oh, three years in jail instead of two... I'm going back to college."
Favorite Headline from 2002
Thursday, September 26, 2002
"We would like to express our deepest regret for a headline that inadvertently ran in yesterday's edition.
Candace Harper, a member of the 2002 NCAA champion Cal softball team, wrote a first-person account of the team's trip to Washington, D.C. and meeting with President Bush Tuesday.
Through a mistake and lack of oversight, the headline over the article said, "I'll Be Your Intern, Mr. Bush."
The headline does not reflect anything written or said to the Daily Cal by Harper.
Because of a breakdown in our normal procedure for reviewing headlines, it ran instead of the intended headline, which should have read "Cal Softball Team Honored at White House Reception."
The printing of the incorrect headline, while an inadvertent error, was completely unprofessional and there is no excuse for it. The headline in no way represents the views of our editors.
We take our responsibility in providing accurate and fair content in our paper seriously. In this instance, we made a serious mistake. For that, we extend our sincere regrets.
Rong-Gong Lin, II, Editor in Chief
George Chikovani, Sports Editor"
TALES OF A DRILL
This was my report after one day of cordless drill ownership:
So far:
1. Determined one lamp to be broken beyond repair.
2. Determined another lamp to be broken beyond repair.
3. Fixed chair.
4. Made new lamp from two broken ones.
5. Replaced a whole bunch of light bulbs (only relevant because I got bulbs while buying parts for chair at store).
6. Fixed sliding door frame.
7. Assembled gun safe (already contained guns, but now the proper mounts could go in).
8. Removed gun safe shelf (my guns are longer than normal US manufactured guns, oops).
9. Spray painted pry bar (only listed because I bought paint to color the parts I bought for the chair and used some paint to mark tools).
10. Drilled a random hole in a 2x4 in the garage.
11. Fixed chair again (don't ask, errrr...).
Bernice let me cook the steak on the grill, too. A drill, a gun safe, a grill. Testosterone overload. Thank god Bernice would not let me light the grill with a shotgun blast!!
ODE TO BARILLA
Aniline, Bavettine, Bucatini,
Cannelloni, Capellini, Casarecce,
Castellane, Cellentani,
Ditalini, Farfalline,
Fettuccine, Garganelli, Lasagna!
Lasagnette, Lumaconi, Macaroni,
Midolline, Orecchiette, Pappardelle,
Pestoalla Calabrese,
Pestoalla Genovese,
Penne, Pestoalla Siciliana!
Rigatoni, Sigarette, Spaccatelle,
Tofettine, Tripolini, Vermicelli,
Spaghettini, Spaghettoni,
Spaghetti alla Chitarra,
Tortellinicon Prosciuttoe Formaggio!
ANOTHER TOP-TEN LIST
In this one a Carp started talking to a fishcutter and his boss, in Hebrew!
(Unfortunately the referenced article is now archived and you will have to pay if you want to read it.)
1. When they cut it open they found a likeness of the Virgin Mary.
2. It was mounted to a wall so it could sing 'Hava Nagila' on cue.
3. If a fish could talk, wouldn't it say, "Put me back you idiots!"
4. Has Tom Ridge heard about this yet?
5. When he heard a mysterious voice he thought it was the CAT? Huh!
6. "It is the voice of a recently deceased relative, hit it with the machete!!"
7. "NO!! Wait, its the voice of GOD! Quick, kill it!"
8. Do they charge extra for the sale of a talking carp?
9. Mr. Nivelo, the Christian from Ecuador, he speaks Hebrew?
10. Carpe Diem.
A DIFFERENT WAY TO BOYCOTT FRANCE
I am not the best at describing this stuff concisely. I am a novice at economics and there are entire books written on this, so pardon any mistakes as brief oversimplification - not an error in thought. This is my reply to a call to action to boycott all things French:
Looking economically, in the past efforts such as these consumer boycotts and economic sanctions between countries have been not only unsuccessful, but can actually strengthen the target economy.
By a US boycott (a lower demand for a given supply), prices of French goods will drop. Meanwhile, people not drinking Glenlivet will switch to MacAllan (Scottish owned Scotch). This will result in increased prices for MacAllan (a higher demand for a given supply). Assume that no one in the US breaks the boycott (unrealistic). The Glenlivet not imported to the US is now sold elsewhere in the world (because it is now cheaper than MacAllan).
Because not everyone in the world will take part in the boycott, there are other people that will take advantage of the slightly lower prices and buy significantly more than they normally would, actually increasing France's production (and probably increasing MacAllan's as well!).
Now, the US is not enjoying the lower priced product, only the higher priced. The French are at regular or increased production, and the rest of the world is buying their scotch cheaper. The US government collect less taxes and people have less money to spend on other products. The net effect is that we hurt our economy and helped everyone else's.
If this were to work we need a few things to happen:
- Everyone in US and other countries agree not to buy French,
- No one else makes the same goods the French do,
- There can be no similar product that people can substitute (butter for margarine, etc.)
- There would have to be a target that would hurt them. (The bulk of their economy is not concentrated on one product (like Iraq and oil). If we successfully boycott any one product we only hurt the people that work in that industry, not the nation as a whole and certainly not the French Government.)
What I will agree to boycotting: answering a plea for help next time anyone with a funny mustache routs the French army and hoists his flag over Paris.
ONCE AGAIN THE VICTIM OF MURPHY'S LAW
Yesterday I had an meeting with an investment firm that I would not mind being involved with, even though they realize I have 13 or more years left to go in the Navy. I leave there at noon after the interview. The day is early, my slate is clear, I am in a good mood and a good suit. So, I go shopping.
I really just wanted to window shop and figured I may as well show off the good threads since I hardly ever wear them. Then I see a jeweler - typical, mall-style, over-priced, under-qualitied jeweler. I wanted to look at watches I couldn't afford, and I knew I would get good service since I was dressed better than anyone they normally see.
I strut in, take off my shades and glance casually at the $1300 watches (NICE WATCHES!!). "Can I help you, sir?" Attractive, 40 year-old woman, I am in like Flynn - this woman was thinking I was the commission that would bring in the bacon for that day.
"Good morning. I am interested in a new watch." This is true, but I am looking for a $20-40 watch, and even that is not a priority! I continue, "I have a cheap watch now, and I want to look for a new one to replace it. I don't plan on buying until this one breaks, but when it does I want to have something in mind." I added the last bit so I would not completely let her down when I looked at the thousand dollar watches and then left empty handed.
She laughs and asked to see my current watch, just out of curiosity. I was cool as a cucumber, so I gave a laugh, "Sure." I snapped out the left wrist, smooth as James Bond himself, to get the watch to slide clear the cuff of my suit coat.
SNAP!
I caught the watch and half the band in one hand, the other half hit the floor.
"So, are you sure you're not interested in buying a watch today?"
Murphy's Law. The damned watch broke, leaving me looking at 24 Karat Omega's and sweating like a fat man in a sauna.
"Sorry, I really don't like these very much. Thank you." Jack-ass!!
I am now wearing a $40 Timex from Wal Mart.
And finally, a page of rants that I started and lost for a while, now back to the front lines:
DATE UNKNOWN AND NOT IMPORTANT
Somewhere around mid February?
France. They should not be in the UN Security Council, certainly not with veto power anyway. They have no economy, no military, really they have nothing.
War in Iraq. My opinion. Want war? No, I do not. Most people do not, even the military does not WANT war. Do I think it is a necessity? Yes, I do. Hopefully we will not get that far, but Uncle Saddam is not giving us many alternatives!
Education reform. Yup, we need to. The best way? I do not know, though I suspect it will only result when we kill all money hungry lawyers. Lawyers, a different topic, are the root of all evil. But if we instill respect in kids they will be better students. Better students learn more, can be taught a wider range of material, and they do not get in as much trouble. How do we instill this respect? Beat it into them. If parents could occasionally punish their kids with spankings, or take away TV, or make them do chores without some wimpy liberal fag groups suing them then maybe we could have kids with respect.
Gun control. How about asshole control. When people commit acts that are illegal and use a weapon to do it, or if they possess illegal weapons, etc., they should be punished. Death in the worst cases, prison work camps in the best. Then gun crimes will slow, and people that just like guns can continue on un-persecuted! The Second Amendment does not give me the right to bear arms, natural law gives me that right. The second gives states the right to take up arms in defense of the state. There is nothing that prohibits gun ownership, therefore it is legal. We do not need a law to tell us it is legal, because it is common sense.
Fat people. It is not discrimination to make you buy two airline tickets, you are fat. You ate too much and exercised too little, McDonalds did not make you fat. It is not discrimination to make fun of you, you are fat. Skin color, sex, age... All natural, therefore one cannot discriminate against it. Religion, OK, they can choose it, but as long as I do not use it as an excuse to oppress anyone else (crusades, jihads, fatwas, etc.) it is harmless. Fat, on the other hand, takes up extra seats on the bus, uses my federally collected tax dollars on health costs, and is your own damned fault. In the military we cannot make fun of any minority or group for anything. EXCEPT: FAT PEOPLE!! Think about it, we let ANYONE join except people with deformities beyond their control (midgets, thalidomide babies, etc.) and fat people. Stupid people? Fags? Criminals? They can join. Fat? Get lost, you are my humors last refuge, and you cannot seek the solace of political correctness, because the majority of society thinks you are disgusting and we all know it is YOUR OWN FAULT!! YOU ARE FAT!!
Smoking? See 'Fat people' section substituting smokers for fat people and secondary smoke for the extra seats. (Well, we let smokers in the military.)
Fat smokers? Just disgusting.
WORLD'S LONGEST LIVING LIGHTBULB
O.K. folks,
I come across some random crap online, quite frankly that is why I surf the web - I like random facts and information. But this page is the single most boring web cam I know of. Granted, it is of interest that this light bulb has burned more or less continuously since 1901 (save for unintentional power outages, the great 1906 quake, and a few firehouse relocations, etc.), but it is still boring.
If you want I can also get you all the link of one of the first and longest operating web cams. Focused on an industrial style coffee pot, it was set up in a Navy test facility because the chief could not figure out who kept taking the coffee without making more. Being a test facility they were one of the first ones with this technology and now keep it operating just out of novelty. Necessity is the mother of invention, an unknown Navy Chief is the father.
-GILL
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