Well, it's that time of year again: Oscar season. That time of year we all look back on the year and reflect on what cinema had to offer the movie-going public and, more importantly, to begin that letter writing campaign to the Wayans Brothers in order to prevent them from making any more films. Now last year, yours truly, opted to post his predictions right here on the WorldWide Web. Well, another year has passed and I'm back to do it again. But this year, instead of focusing on just the more important awards, I decided to be a masochist and predict ALL the awards. Why? I guess I just want to prove how freakin' good I really am. Last year, I predicted the six major awards and walked away with a 4-2 record. That may not sound that great, but I assure you that this year I will firmly establish my dominance. Why? Because I want to, because I can! Let's get it on!

• Kevin O'Connell, Greg P. Russell and Fernando Camara for Apocalypto
• Andy Nelson, Anna Behlmer and Ivan Sharrock for Blood Diamond
• Michael Minkler, Bob Beemer and Willie Burton for Dreamgirls
• John Reitz, Dave Campbell, Gregg Rudloff and Walt Martin for Flags of Our Fathers
• Paul Massey, Christopher Boyes and Lee Orloff for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Tale of the Tape: The Apocalypto group has 31 nominations between them (including one first-time nominee in Frenando Camara), but they have all been shut out to this point. 26 nominations are held by the three people nominated for Blood Diamond, but with only two wins (Andy Nelson in 1998 for Saving Private Ryan and Ivan Sharrock in 1987 for The Last Emperor. Both were for sound). 24 noms are shared between the Dreamgirls trio, with six wins between them (the most recent being Bob Beemer in 2004 for Ray). 15 nominations are shared for Flags of Our Fathers, with one first-timer (Walt Martin). Reitz, Campbell, and Rudloff all won for The Matrix in 1999. Rudloff also win in 1989 for Glory. Finally, 22 nominations are split up here between the three responsible for Pirates. Boyes has four wins (two for mixing and two for editing), Orloff has one (for Terminator 2: Judgment Day in 1991, and Massey is yet to pick up a win.

So...I don't know, I just think the resume of the folks behind Pirates is the most impressive. Besides, surely 2006's highest-grossing film has to win something, right? It was the best at doing one thing: making money. The film deserves a reward somewhere. Believe me, I know all about it. We all know I am The Marquee Player, the Franchise Saviour and, just like Jack Sparrow, the Number One Money Maker! Yet, despite me dominance, I don't always get the title shots I so obviously deserve. It's an unjust world really. So here's hoping that my boys can get rectify that somewhat.

Prediction: Paul Massey, Christopher Boyes and Lee Orloff for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

WINNER: Michael Minkler, Bob Beemer and Willie Burton for Dreamgirls

What can I say? I figured Dreamgirls had to win something and so did Pirates, I just got the categories wrong. Truthfully though, Dreamgirls shouldn't have won anything. Why? It has Eddie Murphy in it.

• Sean McCormack and Kami Asgar for Apocalypto
• Lon Bender for Blood Diamond
• Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman for Flags of Our Fathers
• Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman for Letters From Iwo Jima
• Christopher Boyes and George Watters II for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Tale of the Tape: The Apocalypto duo are up for their first Oscars. Bender has one previous nomination, winning for Braveheart in 1995. Murray and Asman are nominated twice (for both Flags and Letters). These are Murray's fifth and six nominations and he has yet to win. These are Asman's third and fourth nominations and he too has never won. Boyes has ten nominations (he is also nominated for Sound Mixing for the Pirates this year) and has four previous wins (in 1997 for Titanic, 2001 for Pearl Harbor, 2003 for The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and 2005 for King Kong). Watters has eight nominations with two previous wins (in 2001 for Pearl Harbor and in 1990 for The Hunt for Red October).

Logic dictates that Murray and Asman have the best chances here, even though they really shouldn't. Look, if old Dirty Harry hadn't made two films out of one long, boring story, Asman and Murray wouldn't have one freakin' nomination between 'em. They got lucky, pure and simple. See it works the same way in wrestling here folks: someone lucks out and gets to ride someone else's pedigree to the top. No, really. It happens all the time! It was the same thing back in the day when my and the PSI gang practically ran RWW; do you really think for one second that Tommy Dee or Stupac deserved to reach the status they did? Of course not. But they were (regretably) linked to me and that made them, BY ASSOCIATION, winners and in demand. Well, just as often as there is someone getting to a spot they don't deserve, there's also someone who comes along to knock these cretins back down a few pegs. That's where I come in. And that's what really should happen to Clint's two buddies. I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it! Of course, as happens far too often in life, the undeserving usually get recognized, not because of their talent but because of who they know. If that does happen, trust me, I will go down to Hollywood and start working on a film as a sound guy so I can seek justice. These two don't deserve it, but they're probably going to win anyway. Damn shame. Well, I'll pick their work on Iwo Jima, since it seems to be the one people care more about.

Prediction: Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman for Letters From Iwo Jima

WINNER: Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman for Letters From Iwo Jima

Of course I got it right! Did you ever doubt me?

• Stephen Mirrione and Douglas Crise for Babel
• Steven Rosenblum for Blood Diamond
• Alex Rodríguez and Alfonso Cuarón for Children of Men
• Thelma Schoonmaker for The Departed
• Clare Douglas, Christopher Rouse and Richard Pearson for United 93.

Tale of the Tape: Crise has never been nominated before, while Mirriome has only ever been nominated once before, winning in 2000 for Traffic. Rosenblum was nominated twice before and has yet to win an Oscar. Rodriguez has never been nominated before, but his partner, Cuaron (who is also nominated for Adapted Screenplay), was nominated once before in the writing category. Schoonmaker now has six nominations, with two previous wins (for The Aviator in 2004 and Raging Bull in 1980). The trio responsible for United 93 have never been nominated before.

These are the people who are responsible for (making quotation marks with his fingers) "leaving actors on the cutting room floor." They also have the ability to splice people INTO scenes. Yet, despite my insistance, they have yet to add me into anything. That's just Hollywood's loss people. Well, picking a winner here is harder than I anticipated, but I'm gonna give it to Babel. The film likely won't win any "major" awards, despite it's multiple nominations so if it wins anything it pretty much has to happen in a category like this. Besides, the very nature of the narrative of this film likely required a great deal of editing, so I guess that stands for something.

Prediction: Stephen Mirrione and Douglas Crise for Babel

WINNER: Thelma Schoonmaker for The Departed

I was correct in assuming Babel wouldn't win much, but I guess I gave it too much credit. Don't worry, it won't happen again. We all know I hate to give credit to anyone but myself. It's not that I'm cocky or egotistical, it's just that I'm right in asserting that I'm the only one worthy of praise.

• John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and Allen Hall for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
• Boyd Shermis, Kim Libreri, Chas Jarrett and John Frazier for Poseidon
• Mark Stetson, Neil Corbould, Richard R. Hoover and Jon Thum for Superman Returns

Tale of the Tape: The Pirates bunch has 13 nominations between them, with two wins (Gibson won in 1995 for Babe-no, seriously-and Hall won in 1994 for Backdraft). The is the first nomination for both Shermis and Jarrett. Frazier has now been nominated seven times, with one win in 2004 for Spider-Man 2. This is the first nomination for Libreri, although he did win a Scientific and Technical Award in 2000. This is the third nomination for Stetson, who won in 2001 for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. This is the second nomination for Courbould, who won for Gladiator in 2000. This is the second nomination for Hoover, who is still looking for his first win. It is also the second nomination for Thum, who won in 1999 for The Matrix.

First of all, let me just ask: are these the only three films we could think of? We can find four different nominees for Best Documentary Short Subject, but only three films had visual effects worthy of the nod? Was Superman even that good? Poseidon? I thought no one liked that movie at all! What? We couldn't throw in X-Men: The Last Stand? Or even Mission Impossible III or, I don't know, V for Vendetta? No? Nothing? Just three films, that's it? Whatever. Further proof the Academy has no clue what it's doing (not that we needed any). Quite frankly, I want to believe in Pirates, I really do, but I'm afraid that Superman might just prove to be too mighty here (it did have an estimated 1,400 VFX shots). Friggin' Superman.

Prediction: Mark Stetson, Neil Corbould, Richard R. Hoover and Jon Thum for Superman Returns

WINNER: John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and Allen Hall for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Again, I was correct in assuming Pirates had to win something, I just had the wrong category. All I can say is I'm glad I was wrong about Superman. Friggin' Superman.

• John Myhre (Art Direction); Nancy Haigh (Set Decoration) for Dreamgirls
• Jeannine Oppewall (Art Direction); Gretchen Rau and Leslie E. Rollins (Set Decoration) for The Good Shepherd
• Eugenio Caballero (Art Direction); Pilar Revuelta (Set Decoration) for Pan's Labyrinth
• Rick Heinrichs (Art Direction); Cheryl Carasik (Set Decoration) for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
• Nathan Crowley (Art Direction); Julie Ochipinti (Set Decoration) for The Prestige

Tale of the Tape: The duos in charge of both The Prestige and Pan's Labyrinth have never been nominated before. The folks in charge of Pirates have eight nods between them, but only one win (Henrichs won in 1999 for Sleepy Hollow). The Good Shepherd camp shares seven noms between the three (along with one first timer - Leslie E. Rollins), but have only win, dating back to 2005 for Memoirs of a Geisha. The Dreamgirls folks share nine previous nominations, with three wins.

For what it's worth, I take issue over the title of this award. "Art Direction?" You can't direct art! Just like you can't direct The Boy! I do what I want, when I want, how I want! If there's one thing I have noticed while looking at all these categories and seeing the previous nominations/wins histories of the people up for Oscars this year, it's that most people don't exactly have a great batting average. Now if it were me, I would have won every damn time because that's exactly what I always do! I can't help being this good, but I can at least take advantage of it. I guess the folks in Hollywood live by a different set of rules. Let me tell you something though, if you find yourself saying "it's a honour just to be nominated," then you don't even deserve that. Winners succeed for a reason; they have a drive to be the best (like yours truly). If you try to console yourself by justifying that it feels good to even be recognized, prepare to get less and less recognition because no one celebrates the person being second runner-up. Anyway, enough of my rant on the inadequacies of other people: considering that Dreamgirls had more nominations than any other film this year (gag me) and the track record, I think they look like the ones to beat here.

Prediction: John Myhre and Nancy Haigh for Dreamgirls

WINNER: Eugenio Caballero (Art Direction); Pilar Revuelta (Set Decoration) for Pan's Labyrinth

Well at least they gave it to the right film. Could this be a sign that the public is no longer willing to accept mediocrity? Here's hoping...

• Vilmos Zsigmond for The Black Dahlia
• Emmanuel Lubezki for Children of Men
• Dick Pope for The Illusionist
• Guillermo Navarro for Pan's Labyrinth
• Wally Pfister for The Prestige

Tale of the Tape: Zsigmond has three previous nominations, winning just once for Close Encounters of the Third Kind in 1977. Lubezki has now been nominated four times, but has yet to earn a win. Pope has never been nominated before and this is also the first nominations for Pan's Navarro. Pfister was nominated once before, but failed to pick up the win.

This is a really important category, because it's responsible for making everyone look that much better. Of course, I know all about that, because that is what I do each and every time I step into that ring. So, naturally, this category is somewhat near and dear to my heart. Who's got the edge? Really, I think this could go to The Illusionist, but I think Children of Men is going to take this. The film has a couple of nominations and it seems like it should win something. Plus, it's such a cool film I want to see it win something. Pan's might give it a run for its money though.

Prediction: Emmanuel Lubezki for Children of Men

WINNER: Guillermo Navarro for Pan's Labyrinth

Yes, I admit that it isn't looking good right now. But, keep in mind, I DID predict Pan would be the second choice. That counts for something, right?

• Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano for Apocalypto
• Kazuhiro Tsuji and Bill Corso for Click
• David Marti and Montse Ribe for Pan's Labyrinth

Tale of the Tape: The first two films feature one new comer, paired with someone getting their second nod. This is the first nomination for Sodano and only the second for Signoretti. This is also the first nomination for Tsuji and the second for Corso (who won in 2004 for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events). This is also the first nomination for both Marti and Ribe.

You think anyone is going to give Mel Gibson ANYTHING? Regardless of how good the film may be, I think his little drunken rant might have turned some people sour on him (though not apparently the movie-going public, considering the film finished number one on its opening weekend...which just goes to prove that people are ignorant and stupid, as I suspected). And, well, an Adam Sandler film? I don't think Oscar wants to get anywhere near anything the SNL vet is attached to. Thus, it pretty much has to go to Pan.

Prediction: David Marti and Montse Ribe for Pan's Labyrinth

WINNER: David Marti and Montse Ribe for Pan's Labyrinth

This one was really a no-brainer, wasn't it?

• Yee Chung Man for Curse of the Golden Flower
• Patricia Field for The Devil Wears Prada
• Sharen Davis for Dreamgirls
• Milena Canonero for Marie Antoinette
• Consolata Boyle for The Queen

Tale of the Tape: There are three first-timers in this category (Man, Field and Boyle). Davis was nominated once before (for Ray in 2004), but failed to win her Oscar. Canonero is definitely the veteran here, having eigh Oscar nods and two wins (for Chariots of Fire in 1981 and Barry Lyndon in 1975).

I like this category because there are so many newbies here, going up against the veteran in Milena Canonero. I really, really hope that Canonero loses this one. Why? Because she exemplifies what is wrong with the world today. And, I'm sorry to say, it is something that is most prevalent in the wrestling world. What is it? Giving undue reverance to people just because they've been around for a long time. Think about a guy like Stupac who, despite "retiring" several times, NEVER goes away. (Or, for a more "mainstream" reference, a Ric Flair or a Hulk Hogan). Instead, he takes away the limelight from those of us who truly deserve it. And of course I'm referring to people like me. Respect your elders? You know, call me crazy, but I'm pretty certain that it was an older person who came up with that one, in a desperate bid to keep their totalitarian grip on our society. Age may give us wisdom, but it's also a breeding ground for lower standards. Case in point? Canonero hasn't won in 26 years! Is that sort of track record really worth acknowleding at all? Your time in the sun has passed you Canonero, so move on! Let the younger generation show you that you're past due. And, in my estimation, that is exactly what is going to happen here. So...let's just pick someone at random.

Prediction: Yee Chung Man for Curse of the Golden Flower

WINNER: Milena Canonero for Marie Antoinette

Well, just to rub it in my face, they gave it Canonero (whose name seems eerily reminiscent of the Canyonero, the hideous SUV Krusty pitches on awesome episode of The Simpsons). I guess this is the year when people who haven't won in a long time get an Oscar. Whatever. Isn't that just a pity win then? It's not like they deserved it, it just means that they feel bad you've gone so long without a win. I boycot that decision.

• The Blood of Yingzhou District
• Recycled Life
• Rehearsing a Dream
• Two Hands

Tale of the Tape: This is a difficult category to predict, because these films don't win a lot of awards outside of the Oscars. And between the eight people nominated for these films, there are only 13 Oscar nominations, 8 of which are obviously from this year. None of these eight individuals have ever won an Oscar either, so it's rather hard to handicap this category at all. So...what do you want to win? A film about young artists getting mentored? A film about a garbage dump? A film about a heart surgeon in Palestine? Or a film about AIDS in China?

Do we really need this category? The Academy Awards are long as is, I'm pretty sure we could lose a category or two. Like I said, no one really cares about this category, which is why the Academy is about the group that acknowledges these films. All categories like this give us are awkward speeches that go far, far too long and force the orchestra to cut in (thankfully). Quite frankly, I have nothing against the Oscars, but it goes on so long that it takes away from valuable time that my fans, The Boy Scouts, could be using to watch footage of yours truly. Anyway, I'll go along with it (for now) and I'll just pick the one I've heard has a good chance of winning.

Prediction: Two Hands

WINNER: The Blood of Yingzhou District

Well I guess my sources were wrong. Can't blame me for that one really because I technically didn't even pick that one.

• Deliver Us From Evil
• An Inconvenient Truth
• Iraq in Fragments
• Jesus Camp
• My Country, My Country

Tale of the Tape: All the filmmakers responsible for these docs are getting their first Academy Awards nominations. Again, this is a bit tricky to predict, because there aren't a lot of precedents for this category at other awards shows. However, Jesus Camp has received little fanfare outside of the Oscars, whereas An Inconvenient Truth and Iraq in Fragments have both won several awards. It is worth noting that Iraq beat Truth at the 2006 Gotham Awards for Best Documentary.

Al Gore is going to take this one if, for no other reason, just because we all feel sorry for him that he lost that election to Bush (some of us moreso than others). Also, it's probably the only one of these films that the general movie-going public has actually seen. I think that's because North Americans love documentaries that somehow involve Presidential candidates and/or docs that vaguely remind us of warm temperatures (Global Warming, Farenheit 9/11). Coincidence? I think not. Normally, the Academy refuses to go with the popular vote, but I think they will allow this one, just because no one really cares about this category anyway. Oh, and FYI Hollywood: someone out there want a guaranteed Oscar? Make a documentary about me. People will trample over their own mothers to go see that one. Making films about Iraq and Global Warming and pedophile priests is great and all, but isn't about time we gave the movie-going public what they really want?

Prediction: An Inconvenient Truth

WINNER: An Inconvenient Truth

There's another correct guess for me. Good job me, way to go. You know what is really inconvenient about this though? After harping on us about Global Warming for so long, Al Gore really should have gave back his Oscar so it could be melted down and turned into new products. Instead, he opted to keep the trophy and hoarde the metal. Don't practice what you preach, huh?

• After the Wedding, Denmark
• Days of Glory (Indigenes), Algeria
• The Lives of Others, Germany
• Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico
• Water, Canada.

Tale of the Tape: The Academy really only acknowledges the countries themselves as "previous nominees." In that case, Germany has the most out of this group, with 16 in total. Both Mexico and Denmark have 7 each. That having been said, if we look at the individual filmmakers, we can see that this is the first feature film from The Lives of Others director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. Denmark's Susanne Bier has been around for a while (her first film was Freud's Leaving Home in 1991). She is highly respected in Denmark, yet has never received an Oscar nomination before (she did get some recognition at Sundance in 2005). Algeria's Rachid Bouchareb has received some acclaim for previous work as well, but this is his first Oscar nod. Mexico's Guillermo del Toro has never received an Oscar nomination before, but he is still likely well-known to most, thanks to his commercial success with films like Mimic,, Blade II, and Hellboy I and II. Pan's has also won several awards already. Finally, Canada's Deepa Mehta has never been nomimated for an Oscar before either, but she has had some success with previous films (mostly in Canada) with title like Bollywood/Hollywood.

Obviously, being THE Canadian Legend, my heart wants to go out to Deepa Mehta and Water, but I know that the easy money bet is on Pan's Labyrinth. After all, it is the only one of these films that has any other Oscar nominations this year. Clearly, the Academy doesn't apperciate my homeland or our contributions to cinema. My countrymen may not get their due in Hollywood, but fortunately I more than make up for it by proudly representing Canada each and every time I get into the ring. And we all know that I when I get into the ring, it's a foregone conclusion how it's going to end (with my hand being raised, naturally). So we may not win in Hollywood, but, thanks to me, Canada dominates the world of wrestling. Choke on that Hollywood.

Prediction: Pan's Labyrinth

WINNER: The Lives of Others, Germany

Wait a minute...Pans' Labyrinth lost? WTF? Everyone said it could (and should) have been up for BEST PICTURE! It won gajillions of other awards but it couldn't get the job done here? I'm thinking they read the wrong name. What a bunch of morons.

• Cars
• Happy Feet
• Monster House

Tale of the Tape: Let's look at this way: Happy Feet had a surprising amount of success at the box office, with it's CG penguins, singing and dancing and possible underlying themse of homosexuality and lack of acceptance earning $190 million. Cars, competing in the much more competitve summer season, raked in $244 million. Monster House earned just $73 million. Obivously, that doesn't mean anything, but at the same time it pretty much does. Cars is the work of Hollywood's heaviest hitter, Pixar. The company also won the OScar for The Incredibles in 2004 and Finding Nemo in 2003. Their only loss was in 2001, with Monsters Inc. losing to Shrek.

So, basically, you're a fool if you think Pixar can't take this one. Honestly, no one cared about Monster House anyway, did they? Besides, Pixar is so damned successful they just might be the UBERstar of film studios. What baffles me about this category, like the Visual Effects category, is that the Academy only sought to acknowledge three films here. Honestly, I'm pretty sure that one out of every five films released last year was a computer-animated film (despite the fact that traditional animation is still, in general, superior). Think about it, they could have gave nominations to Open Season, Flushed AWay, Over the Hedge, Barnyard, The Wild, The Ant Bully, and Ice Age: The Meltdown. Granted, most of those films sucked, but so did Monster House. Don't get wrong here, I'm tired of seeing CG animals in sub-par films and I hope that maybe this snub, along with poor box office performances, will make studios sit up and take notice and at least pump out fewer of these films...but that probably won't happen. After all, Hollywood has never been opposed to bad ideas before. (Please see Son of the Mask, anything starring Paris Hilton, bad Japanese horror remakes, bad remakes of good films - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, bad films based on TV shows - Dukes of Hazzard, and the need for a new Die Hard and Rambo.)

Prediction: Cars

WINNER: Happy Feet

So I guess the lesson learned here is that if you make a film about penguins, you can expect to win an Oscar. Especially if the penguins are gay.

• The Danish Poet
• Lifted
• The Little Matchgirl
• Maestro
• No Time for Nuts

Tale of the Tape: This is the second nomination for Danish Poet scribe Torill Kove. This is the fourteenth nominated for Lifted's Gary Rydstrom. He has seven previous wins, although every one of his past nominations were for sound work. This is his first film. This is the first nomination for Matchgirl's Allers and it is the second nomination for producer Don Hahn, who was nominated in 1991 for Best Picture for his work as producer on Beauty and the Beast. This is the first nomination for Geza M. Toth of Maestro. This is also the first nomination for No Time for Nuts duo Chris Renaud and Michael Thurmeier.

So is this how it works? You release an animated film on DVD and you throw on a short about something, related or not, and it gets an Oscar nomination? In case you weren't aware No Time for Nuts is a DVD extra for Ice Age: The Meltdown and Matchgirl was found on the Little Mermaid Super Mega Ultra Deluxe Championship Hyper Fighting Limited Platinum Edition DVD. I guess I just don't appreciate any of these (making quotation marks with his fingers) "short" films because it just feels like the filmmakers were too lazy or incompetent to come up with a complete film, so they just went with what they had and hoped it turned out okay. I also fail to appreciate these films because when people pay good money to see me, they just can't get enough. I mean 15 or 20 minutes just doesn't cut it. Two hours would still be insufficient! No, I'm pretty sure if they were going to make a film about me (and they really, really should) Peter Jackson would have to direct so that it could run at least four and a half hours long. I think that would be a perfect length for me I because then you would still have time to go to the theatre, watch my movie, and get back in time to watch the last half of the Oscars. But, for now, we'll have to keep that idea on the backburner. I'm gonna go with Matchgirl here because it's made by Disney and old Walt has more nominations than anyone else. Basically put, the Disney folks are winners and winners win. The cream always rises to the top. Take it from me because I'm pretty sure I've proven this fact time and time again. And we all know I'll be doing it again.

Prediction: The Little Matchgirl

WINNER: The Danish Poet

Once again, I was wrong. This almost seems embarrasing...if it weren't for the fact that my picks were clearly the right ones. It's as if they ambushed me to make me look stupid. It wouldn't be the first time someone tried something like this. All I can say is that if the Academy wants to get in my business, why not step into the ring with me? We'll see who looks foolish then.

• Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea)
• Eramos Pocos (One Too Many),
• Helmer & Son,
• The Saviour
• West Bank Story

Tale of the Tape: This is the first nomination for all the filmmakers, except for Kim Magnusson of Helmer & Son. Magnusson was previously nominated for Wolfgang in 1997, Ernst & Lyset in 1996 and won in 1998 for Election Night (Val Gaften), all in this category.

Yet another difficult category to predict. Helmer has some previous Oscar experience behind it, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. West Bank Story, a strange musical about competing falafel stands doesn't stand a chance; the Academy gave up on musicals after Chicago. Don't believe me? How come Dreamgirls didn't get a Best Picture nod? Certainly Walk the Line didn't win last year. The Savior is equally doomed because no one wants to see a film about Mormons in love. Or, more to the point, if we can't be bothered to answer the door when they come to spread the good word, we can't be bothered to give you a major award. I'm going to bet this one goes to Binta, just because it has buzz. Also, I enjoyed the scene where the children said they wouldn't laugh at Binta...and then proceeded to laugh at Binta while the teacher just watched. Cruel, but I like it. There's also a child named Soda, so it can't possibly lose.

Prediction: Binta and the Great Idea (Binta Y La Gran Idea)

WINNER: West Bank Story

Honestly? Didn't see that one coming.


Click here for Part 2 (f/ the major categories)

(Tally for this page: 3/14)