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nsw:
LAYAWAY PLAN
(The scene opens up inside the NSW offices. The camera pans across the room to reveal
several NSW employees, looking offscreen at something they appear to
find bothersome. Some muttering and shuffling papers can be heard.
The camera continues to pan until it stops at NSW wrestler Scott "The Boy"
Hellings sitting at someone's desk. Hellings is wearing his custom, red
Canadian Legend hockey jersey and a pair of jeans and he is carrying a label maker. A security guard
approaches The Boy.)
GUARD-
"Excuse me. You wanna tell me what you're doing here sir?"
HELLINGS-
"Hey pal, I know I'm not from here but I swear I have a work visa okay?
I just don't have it on me right now because I wasn't expecting Rent a Cop of the Year to hassle me. But I do have one. Trust me, everything's in order.
Would I lie to you?"
GUARD-
"No. I was referring to what are you doing in this office? What the hell are you doing with everyone's desks? We've received a lot of complaints."
HELLINGS-
"Complaints? Complaints? These people know nothing! If they knew who I was they woudln't be complaining at all, they would be bugging me
for my autograph. But apparently these people don't recognize true greatness, an icon, when one walks into the room."
GUARD-
"You are causing a disturbance. Now explain yourself."
HELLINGS-
"Look pal, I shouldn't have to explain myself to you or anyone. I am your superior-intellectually and physically! Especially physically! Look at me, look at this chiseled
physique of mine, huh? It's like I was chiseled out of stone by a god or something!"
(The Boy pauses and looks over at an attractive, young female employee.)
HELLINGS-
"But I bet you already noticed that, didn't you? I've been watching you, you've been undressing me with your eyes ever since
I got here."
WOMAN-
"Actually I was wondering what you were doing at my desk."
(The Boy pauses and picks up a picture frame on the desk and looks at it for a moment)
HELLINGS-
"This is your desk? So this is your boyfriend huh? Well take it from me, you can do better.
Allow me to introduce myself-I'm better."
WOMAN-
"You wish!"
HELLINGS-
"No darling, YOU wish! You can't do better than me! It's like I always say-I am The Boy and that
means I am The Best!"
WOMAN-
"I would prefer to be with a real man thanks."
HELLINGS-
"Hey! They may call me The Boy, but there is no doubt that I am The Man!"
(The Boy and the woman begin to argue, until the security guard intervenes)
GUARD-
"Hey you two! Could we get a move on here?"
WOMAN-
"Just get that creep out of my desk!"
GUARD-
"Leave the ladie's desk alone sir."
HELLINGS-
"I'm not done yet. You see I just signed a contract with No Surrender Wrestling. The bigwigs
couldn't resist signing me, they threw all sorts of money at me. And it's easy to see why. Aside from
my raw sexual energy, my natural, unsurpased talent, I also have quite a following. All my fans, all
The Boy Scouts out there, they are always frothing at the mouth for some more of me. So it has become an exact science like the
theory of relativity or the laws of thermodynamics, you put The Boy on a show and the Nielsen ratings go through the roof! The Nielsens love me! I'm their favourite son! So it's only natural
an upstart new promotion would want me on their roster! But while that may be good news for NSW, it's bad news for my competition around the locker room. You see, I'm not like any other so-called (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'superstar' out there. Oh no, I am The Canadian Legend and, more importantly, I am the one and only UBERstar!
So it's really only a matter of time before I steamroll my way through the locker room and ascend to my rightful place atop the food chain."
GUARD-
"So what are you doing here?"
HELLINGS-
"See once I arrive on the scene, I dominate. I dominate to the point where I practically own the damn company and every single person working for it! So I'm here with this lable maker,
putting my name on each and every item in this office, to save me some time later on. Think of it as putting the office on layaway. Because, face it, it's only a matter of time before I run the freakin' show around here! I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it!"
GUARD-
"You think you can just beat anyone who gets in your way? You don't even know how tough the competition will be yet."
HELLINGS-
"It doesn't matter. You know who I am? I'm The Boy. I'm the marquee player, the franchise saviour and the number one money maker! If I say I'm coming in here and I'm taking over, I'm going to dominate NSW then it's a given. You know why?"
GUARD-
"I really don't think I care."
HELLINGS-
"I take over because I want to, because I CAN!"
GUARD-
"Okay, it's time you left."
HELLINGS-
"You can kick me out if you want, but once I have all the power, all the stroke around here, I'll think back to this moment
and I'll make damn sure you get what's coming to you. You don't throw me out, I leave when I want to. I think I deserve some respect."
GUARD-
"Why? You haven't done anything yet."
HELLINGS-
"It's a foregone conclusion anyway. Have you seen the competition that's been signed on so far? Bill Dynamite? Do you think for one second that I am afraid of
a guy with a name like Dynamite? You so know that cannot be his actual birth name. It's ridiculous. Someone should really look into that sometime. The man's obviously a fraud, he's hiding something. Me? I hide nothing. I come out and say what I mean. But in this case, actions speak louder than words, so..."
(The Boy takes his labelmaker and puts a label that says, "Property of The Boy" on the desk.)
GUARD-
"Don't do that again or I will be forced to hurt you. Besides, I highly doubt it's his real name, it's just a stage name of sorts. I guess maybe he likes to call himself that because he can be explosive."
HELLINGS-
"Yeah well so can diarrhea, but do you really think that's championship material?"
GUARD-
"You really do believe you are the best, don't you?"
HELLINGS-
"Well I'd hardly go around labelling things if I didn't, now would I? Point is, it doesn't matter if your name is Dave Smith, Bill Dynamite or Dwayne Carlton, the fact is that none of those guys have 1/27 my ability, my charisma, my looks or my fame and fortune."
GUARD-
"You ain't got nothing yet."
HELLINGS-
"A slight technicality. But don't for one second think that you can second-guess my ability. I'll be the first to admit I talk a great game, but believe me I can back it up. Heck, I should come with a freakin' money back guarantee I'm so good and so dependable. So consider this a warning to you or anyone else in NSW-don't overlook The Boy or it will be the first, and last, mistake you ever make."
GUARD-
"Yeah well I don't want to hear anymore. You're gonna have to leave."
HELLINGS-
"A bit touchy, aren't we? Switch to decaf. You're just jealous of me. I can't say I blame you-if I were you, I'd want to be me too!"
GUARD-
"Yeah whatever, take it outside and let these people get back to work."
(The Boy stands up and glares at the guard for a moment. He then turns to the woman from before. He smiles and then takes a "Property of The Boy" label and places it on her chest. She looks horrified and smacks him hard across the face before running off. The Boy keeps on smiling as he turns to the guard and shrugs his shoulders.)
HELLINGS-
"What can I say? The devil made me do it...although I woulda done it anyway."
GUARD-
"Get the hell out of here before I call the cops!"
HELLINGS-
"Yeah sure thing, I gotta go work out so I'll be used to the extra weight around my waist once I win all the gold around here."
(The Boy walks off, sticking a few more of his labels to various items in the office, before the scene finally fades to black.)
  
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