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Statistics:
Age: 23
Height: 169cm (5"6')
Start: 120kg (264.5lb)
Current: 85kg (187lb)
Goal: 60kg (132lb)

Countdown:
60kg (132lb)
55kg (121lb)
50kg (110lb)
45kg (99lb)
40kg (88lb)
35kg (77lb)
30kg (66lb)
25kg (55lb)
20kg (44lb)
15kg (33lb)
10kg (22lb)
5kg (11lb)
Goal

Horoscope:
We can't help ourselves. We want everything to be just great. The problem is, while our planet is full of fantastic things- glorious trees, stunning skies, awesome oceans and majestic mountains- in the face of natures abundance we think we must also possess that same capacity to shine, but know in reality it's not that simple. When faced with a bill that needs paying, the job that needs doing or the problem that needs solving, our belief in magic slips away. Yet deep within you, a divine spark remains and this week it is due to ignite a flame of immense fulfillment. (Jonathan Cainer)

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2ND JULY 2003: HOME SWEET HOME

I am finally home and slightly grateful for it. Don’t get me wrong, I like my parents and all, but the stress levels there are so high that someone is either going to have a stroke or snap- quite possibly my mother. If she lost it I would happily go as a character witness to her trial and say that both the males under her roof deserved what they got.
My older brother, Pothead, still lives at home, and he just turned 25 in April. I am 2 years younger, living out of home for the past 3 and half years and with a great daughter. Boof, my younger brother, a whopping 4 years younger than Pothead, has been out of home for around 2 years, thereabouts because he moved out around 6 months before he enlisted. Yessire, my little brother, who is actually almost a foot taller than me and built like a wall, has moved out of home to join the army.
Yet Pothead still lives there, causing real hell. He must have the most expensive ingredients to cook dinner with, and never pays for it himself. He smokes cigarettes and never pays. Okay, if I were going to list the things that he did not pay for I would be here forever. Time to list the things that he does pay for. Firstly. Um. Okay! His drugs. Most of the time. Quite often he asks to ‘borrow’ money and buys his dope. Or steals it. It is usually only marijuana, however when he gets his pay he disappears for the day to the city and comes back off his tits on whatever it is he has taken. Generally there is a shitload of heroin and something new this week, but stuffed if I know what it was or care. All I know that he smokes while my 2-year-old daughter is in the room and if I said anything then I would be the one told to be quiet and leave. My mother complains about it and especially the smell all the time, and it does smell like dope continually (which I hate) but she still lets him do it. Argh!
I can hear you asking why. I think the only reason is that he could not survive by himself. He has left home several times and always come back. Sometimes within a day. Usually he doesn’t even make it to where he is going. He has got some serious problems and I know it can’t all be blamed on the drugs, but seeing as he is NEVER straight it has to be the greater percentage of his problems.
But it isn’t only Pothead, but my father. I don’t particularly get along with my father. I don’t remember him saying anything that wasn’t mean to me in years and years. Okay, let us use an example. Both my parents now drive taxis (and that has alleviated a lot of the stress because they enjoy it). If my father gets up to go to work at 0600hr my mother must also get up so that he does not sleep in. He gets a thermos of coffee and lunch made for him. He gets dinner cooked and left outside if he is working later.
However, if my mother goes to work early, she has to make her own tea, he own food. And if she works all day she comes home to a dope smelling mess and nothing prepared for her except all the pent up whines about whatever has gotten into their heads.
If I were my mother I would have gone nuts. And it is just stressful most of the time. The worst part for me is that I often become the brunt of the anger, getting snapped at and so forth. It is also bad that when I get up with Missy in the morning I have to go around all the areas that she can get into and make sure there is no drugs or anything dangerous that she can get into. Argh.
I do admit though; when I am there I probably make it more difficult because I am definitely one of the messiest people that you will ever meet. Anyway. There was a small time out for my mother and myself yesterday. We went to see Bruce Almighty. Now I myself and not a Jim Carey fan- I don’t have the sort of humour that usually goes along with his movies. I did like The Truman Show and this was surprisingly funny and poignant. I will never wish to win lotto every again! It had some really good moments, the funniest actually being from his co-star who played his arch-nemesis. It wasn’t THE funniest movie that I have ever seen (that award goes to Dreaming with the Fish starring David Arquette and the woman from Law & Order: Criminal Intent and some other guy and some good music. WATCH IT NOW!) but I do recommend watching it, even for the small realization that when he is not pulling those stupid faces, Jim Carey is quite good-looking and Jennifer Aniston CAN act!
Cheers.

852 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1456HR. EMAIL ME.