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Statistics:
Age: 23
Height: 169cm (5"6')
Start: 120kg (264.5lb)
Current: 85kg (187lb)
Goal: 60kg (132lb)

Countdown:
60kg (132lb)
55kg (121lb)
50kg (110lb)
45kg (99lb)
40kg (88lb)
35kg (77lb)
30kg (66lb)
25kg (55lb)
20kg (44lb)
15kg (33lb)
10kg (22lb)
5kg (11lb)
Goal

Horoscope:
We can't help ourselves. We want everything to be just great. The problem is, while our planet is full of fantastic things- glorious trees, stunning skies, awesome oceans and majestic mountains- in the face of natures abundance we think we must also possess that same capacity to shine, but know in reality it's not that simple. When faced with a bill that needs paying, the job that needs doing or the problem that needs solving, our belief in magic slips away. Yet deep within you, a divine spark remains and this week it is due to ignite a flame of immense fulfillment. (Jonathan Cainer)

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3RD JULY 2003: DIET BROO-HAA-HAA

I downloaded BB3’s Cookie Cutter Sky last night, the song that Dan and Patrick wrote as Dan’s personal dilemma task. And it is surprisingly good, so if you can, download it from here. There is some real talent there. Onto the real reason that I am here.
I really am beginning the diet today, so far it is going okay, except for the whole Kit Kat Chunky that I ate for breakfast. I forgot to eat and went to the store for nappies and before I realized what I was doing I was holding the last piece of a huge chocolate bar. So long as I include it in my 1200-1500cal limit (I prefer calories to joules) then I should be okay. Thus far I have reached 600 or so calories. I shall return to my caffeine dependence soon, which always assists me.
I gained around 5kg during my 2-week binge. Disgusting really. I am not fitting into anything that I wore before. I guess however I really did not have the resolve to do it and the depression heightened the distaste I had for anything remotely healthy. This morning however I have risen with more determination than I have ever previously. Despite my mother’s disapproval of a girls body the other day, deeming her ‘too skinny’, that is how I want to look. No, not anorexic, not Lara Flynn Boyle. I want Angelina Jolie, or rather as close to that as I can get with my huge frame. I know, the big bones excuse. No, it isn’t. I am fat, that is a given, but I will never be a small person either. I have HUGE shoulders and a HUGE head and all the traits of a big person. And it bothers me because I like little women. Yessire, I do indeed. I bought some new pants the other day. There was a choice between 2 pairs, the first being a greyish pair of semi-flared jeans, the second a pair of semi-flared regular length black pinstripes. Shamefully they were both a little uncomfortable around the waist due to my latest binge in a long line of them. However the jeans were a little more comfortable to do up. The problem was the legs. I have relatively small legs compared to my flabby torso so things tend to be a little loose around my legs, and these were more than a little loose. They just looked wrong.
So I tried on the pinstripes, which were uncomfortable around the flab, but the legs were perfect. They may be ‘regular length’ but the cover my feet, which I love. They were loose enough around the legs to feel comfortable, yet not so loose as to turn me into a giant balloon. So I bought them. And my determination to diet and exercise will soon see me fitting comfortably into the belly as well. I think an hourly session of Pilates daily should suffice.
That is yet the other difference to my resolve at the moment. I feel the urge to exercise. I know I enjoy it and feel great afterwards, but I have difficulty making myself do it. Yet today I WANT TO rather than know that I must. Though we rode the bus to BirdTown because I was not carrying a child without a nappy for 2km when she had not thus far relieved herself, we walked home. That is Missy walked around 500m, I then carried her 11kgs on my shoulders for the remaining 2km, at a faster pace than my usual dawdle. So okay, most people would have passed me, but that is because I enjoy the scenery generally so my speed is slow.
I was going to try and be articulate in this entry, but thus far it has not worked. So the whole gist of what I just wrote? I put on weight, have the resolve to become the skinny and healthy person that I want to be and fit into nice clothes. Cheers.

673 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1203HR. EMAIL ME.

I am feeling semi-positive at the moment due to the endorphin rush that comes with doing half an hours exercise. That is I just did a full set of Pilates, only missing the final routine because my arms are way to short. Sounds like a bad excuse doesn’t it. However the point is that you are sitting with your legs out and use your hands to push yourself off the ground. I however can lift myself a total of one inch because that is how short my arms are. They don’t look particularly short, I don’t think. No one has ever told me so anyway. I do like the look of long sleeves on people because they make their arms look longer and generally slender. All sleeves are long on me yet my arms are relatively all bulk except the inherited piece of flab that even on the skinniest female in the extended family has. However there are not that many skinny people that I can think of. My point is that we all have it and my arms are all muscle because I carry Missy everywhere. I always did have muscular arms however as of late I realized that they were bigger than usual and could not account for it, as I was doing no exercise. Then Sonya, my property manager (who is terribly nice and if I ever own a home that I want to rent it will be through this company) said something along the lines of me getting stronger. It was an AHA! moment.
I want to be toned but not bulky. As I said in the previous entry, I want to look like Angelina Jolie. I will return to the gym as of next Monday, which means that I must remember to book Missy into the crèche. The plan is to tone at the gym 3 days a week, which also includes 2km on the treadmill or bike. Then Pilates 4 evenings a week and aerobics 5 or 6 days. I will eventually buy a pram and walk everywhere, however until then I will do all that I can. I am sure that Missy would not like to be piggy-backed the whole four kilometres into the city and I couldn’t do anything is she threw a tantrum.
I am feeling positive, exactly how I always feel after a workout! I enjoy it, I enjoy doing it. I love the muscle ache that follows. I am feeling good and know that I can do it. Now I have to stay this positive and stick to it. This is how I initially felt in February of 2002 when I embarked on the low-carb lifestyle. However a year and a half later I could feel my arteries clogging and was losing no weight, so that is why I am now following a low fat, disgusting amounts of exercise (if I had a treadmill I would spend all my television viewing time after Missy went to bed on the damned thing) and a positive attitude.
Is Larry Emdur short or are all the Price Is Right contestants tall? Cheers.

525 WORDS POSTED BY SAMANTHA AT 1751HR. EMAIL ME.