| JOKES |
Here are a few jokes that you may find interesting and hopefully mildly humorous... What Did Dad Act Like When He Was In High School? Little Red-Headed Schoolteacher High School Vs College Bored? JOKES! What Did Dad Act Like When He Was In High School? Author: W. Bruce Cameron Office of the Principal Dear Mr. Cameron: As a courtesy, we are sending you a copy of this letter we recently wrote your 15 year old daughter in response to a query we received from her. Dear Ms. Cameron. Thank you for your letter. Yes, we are pleased to report, your father's old high school is still standing and our library was able to find yearbooks dating "all the way back" to his graduation. In fact, a few teachers even remember your father, which I will get to in a moment. In answer to your first question: in every picture extant of your father he is well shod, wearing what I believe were called "earth shoes" back then. Also, the weather here is moderate, with snow generally lasting from December until March--hardly the entire school year. Thus his descriptions of the conditions under which he "struggled" to school in the morning do, as you suggested, seem a bit exaggerated. In fact, our bus logs are (remarkably) still intact, revealing that not only was your father a registered passenger, but that his parents paid the extra ten dollars a month for door-to-door delivery. I am sure there were days when your father was very "sharply dressed," as you state he puts it, but in every single photograph I was able to uncover he is wearing exactly the same thing: bell bottom blue jeans with white strings trailing from the edges onto the floor, horizontal rents in the knees, and no belt buckle. His T-shirt displays a message easily communicated with hand gestures. His hair hangs past his shoulders and looks as if it was exposed to a lot of wind - perhaps he rode the school bus with the window open. As to academics and "concentrating on the basics," one must remember the times: the "basics" back then may very well have embraced some of your father's elective subjects, which included "Personal Citizenship," "Ecology," and one which apparently was called "Relevance." We have no record of what, if anything, was taught in these classes. What records we do have show that your father did indeed take Geometry, just as he claims. In fact, he took it his sophomore year, repeated it his junior year, and repeated the course again his senior year - Geometry was required for graduation. Now as to Mr. Muggins, who had your father in a class called "Problems of Modern Relationships." Mr. Muggins does not wish to dispute the claim that your father always had his homework done early, he merely wants to point out that no matter when it was done, it was always handed in late. In fact, your father sticks out in Mr. Muggins's mind as having the most outrageous excuses for being unprepared, including having to evacuate his home because it was infected with the China Syndrome. Your father was not, sad to say, President of the Student Council. Perhaps he is confusing student government with a social group called "The Slackers," which Mr. Muggins recalls was a group of boys who sat in the hallway and made loud groaning noises whenever an attractive girl strode past. Your father was assistant vice president of the club, and, to our knowledge, is the only past member not currently serving time in a federal penitentiary. One thing IS completely verifiable: your father's name is, indeed, carved above the door to the school. Please advise that, now that we have noticed it, we will need to have it sanded out and refinished, at a cost of approximately three hundred dollars. We would appreciate it if your father would agree to pay for the damage without having to engage lawyers. The honor roll to which he apparently referred is not above the door, it hangs outside my office. I will leave unanswered the question as to whether his name is upon it. Thank you very much for your letter, which we found most amusing. Be sure to tell your father hello from Mr. Muggins. More jokes by this author: http://www.wbrucecameron.com/ back to top Little Red-Headed Schoolteacher A travelling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Australia. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little red-headed schoolteacher, if that's okay." "Oh, that'll be great," says the salesman, grinning from ear to ear. "And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman." "Just as well," says the manager. "So will the little red-headed schoolteacher." back to top High School Vs College 1. In high school, you do homework. In college, you study. 2. No food is allowed in the hall in high school. In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come. 3. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both. 4. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at the teacher's guide. 5. In college, there are no bells or tardy slips. 6. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you get to live with your friends. 7. In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool. 8. Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.) 9. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict, you have the prerequisites, the classes aren't closed, and you've paid your tuition. 10.In high school, if you screw up, you can usually sweet-talk your way out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor. 11. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in college, by the drunk frat boys on their way home when the bars close. 12. In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade than your high school final exams ever did. 13. In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back. In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down. 14. In high school, freshman guys hit on senior girls. In college, senior guys hit on freshman girls. 15. In college, weekends start on Thursday. 16. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of the man/woman you have a crush on in order to figure out where he/she will be walking around campus and at what time to find them there. 17. Once you've obtained the information described in #16, it's much more time-consuming to run between classes to that place where you know he/she will be in order to "just happen to bump into him/her." 18. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day. 19. In college, your dad doesn't pay for dates. 20. In high school, it never took 3 or 4 weeks to get money from Mom and Dad. 21. College men are cuter than high school boys. 22. College women are legal. 23. In college, when you miss a class (or two or three), you don't need a note from your parents saying you were skip....uh, sick that day. 24. In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed. In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it. 25. In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this. back to top |
