Well it is closing in on
that time of year again... the fall semester ends and the winter break begins
until January when I start up again possibly for the last semester at MNW. It
has been a long semester in some aspects yet so short in others. Some things
have made it hard, other things have made it seem like any other year. This was
written over a period of a couple weeks so the different perspectives reflect
the time gone by; just so you know.
Early on, I
didn’t know how I was going to make it. I had 100 pages of theology reading in
2 days, plus all my other work. I managed though, making it through that and
getting into the swing of things in all but 1 of my classes. I took another full
16 credits worth this past semester. That would have been 14 credits but two of
my classes were extended an hour so it became a 16 credit hr load. Not bad all
things considered. So now, it’s time to review my classes. I guess I’ll do
it on a day-by-day basis. First stop, Elements of Bible Study…
This
class was the first class of the week for me and course ID number wise the
easiest though in practice it was far from that. It was one of those classes
that I wasn’t sure about when I started but now that I’ve come through it,
it was definitely helpful. There were so many things I learned in there on some
basic methods to study the Bible, which I do intend to share some of the basics
of. If there was one primary thrust from Pastor B, (Baxter actually) it was
context… context is critical to anything you do in scripture. We started out
the class looking at Psalm 19, well a section of it anyway. Just looking to see
what was there. As we progressed through the weeks, we added more and more
things to use to dig truths out of the text. The most time by far was spent on
the observation process, which was and is critical. It’s like the foundation
of a building; if it’s bad, the building won’t be completely true. Things
like how to read the Bible, things to look for, questions like who, what, when,
where were all part of the observation side of the class. In observation, you
answer the question “what does it say.” Pretty straightforward but critical
to later on. You have to have accurate observation for your interpretation to be
correct, and in turn, your interpretation has to be correct for your application
to be correct. In interpretation, you ask what does it mean. More specifically,
what did it mean to the original reader. If it was one of the epistles, what did
that mean to the original recipients? Then you look for the timeless principles.
Meaning those things that are the same from age to age… this is where culture
factors in as do a bunch of other things as well. Application is how does it
work; specifically for me… this one is personal but again it is based on good
observation and interpretation. Grade wise if the midterm report is any
indication that will be an A class. I was 5th in the class pulling a
95.1% at the midterm and I doubt I’ve dropped very far since then. That was
one of those classes that I wasn’t sure about but I was glad I took. Granted I
didn’t like getting up so early, 6am, but well, that's how it goes
sometimes… that took up my morning section, from 7:45 to 10:35 Tuesdays. Yes,
you noticed right, I don’t have class on Mondays. That was a definite plus. If
I did, I would be in bed hopefully asleep right now, as I work on writing this
at almost 3am Sunday night. Granted, this will probably be done in multiple
stages but hey, this is a start. After the break it was time for the class that
I was least eager going into; Systematic Theology…
I came into theology class
with a bias against it primarily because of what I had seen in my peeks in the
theology forum on cgr. I entered the class not wanting anything to do with it.
But, there I was; stuck in the class, having to read a ton of pages in a book
that completely left me in the dust trying to make sense of things that I
didn’t really care about to begin with. Theology met twice a week. Up from
once a week that it had last year, which was ok I guess but it threw off my
class selection schedule just a bit. It worked out though, I guess. Anyhow, it
was and is rather interesting… I’m not sure how I’m doing in that class.
I’ve turned everything in that I need to, including an 11-page research paper
on the gap theory of creation. It’s the quizzes that have me worried. I got a
95% on the midterm so I really can’t complain about that. It’s actually
somewhat funny that I got that good of a grade in a class I didn’t really
like. Ironic huh? Part of my problem with theology is the fact that it doesn’t
work well with my mind. I have a tendency to miss things that are key and miss
connection that are critical. In philosophy and more general logical thinking,
I’m better but depending on the topic, I’ll leave it alone. Theology is one
of those classes that is there and I’m taking it but if I didn’t have to, I
wouldn’t. I’m honesty not sure if I would have taken it even now were it not
required. But it is so I don’t have to worry about deciding that. That took up
the time period from 12:15 to about 2:05 Tuesdays and Thursdays. After that, I
would typically spend some time on the net and eventually make my way home. It
took an hour typically, or pretty much most of an hour, which was fine with me,
save for the snowy days which thankfully I only had 1 of. For a while, the
morning drives was extremely nasty, right into the sunrise. Eventually, the sun
started rising just after I got there; which is pretty much the case now. (Early
December) That was my typical Tuesday. Wednesday morning was also an early
start. This morning though held the easiest class of the semester: Principles of
Discipleship…
In saying it was easy I
don’t mean it wasn’t challenging or it took no effort but it took very
little effort. Reading 3 short books and writing short review of them, keeping
class notes and that was an A. this was one of what we students call a ‘bob
class.” bob smith teaches it so it’s a bob class. lol… anyhow we walked
through 12 commitments of a disciple. If you’ve covered any of the Purpose
Driven stuff, you have a basic idea of what we covered because there were
similarities. This was broken down into 12 commitments and we talked a little
about each of ‘em and went into more detail on some more than others and of
course enjoyed the rabbit trails that bob would get off onto. Lol… so here
they are the commitments of a disciple…
Commitment to…
1. Jesus Christ as Savior
2. The Ordinances: baptism, communion,
3. Church Family: be a member basically
4. Quiet Time: time alone with God
5. Fellowship: spending time with other believers
6. Tithing: proportionate giving, or something of that idea
7. S.H.A.P.E.: how God created every person. Their spiritual gifts, their heart,
abilities, personality, and experiences
8. Ministry: be serving somehow
9. Training: work yourself out of a job… bring up others to take over
10. Testimony: prepare it and be ready to give it if asked
11. Evangelism
12. Mentoring: bring other along
Those were the things that
were emphasized in the class. We spent by far the most time on the first 9 or
so, first 7 actually. The SHAPE one was a recap of what I knew but it was
interesting to hear again. Right now, at least I’m not sure exactly if things
have changed since I wrote a life mission statement last fall. I know my
experiences have changed, maybe my abilities and maybe my heart but the others I
don’t think have changed. Spiritual gifts? I’m not sure honestly. Could be
many of them, or maybe I just have that kind of a personality that can pretty
much adapt well to doing just about anything. There are some that definitely
aren’t me but there are others that could be. I don’t think I’m going out
on a limb very far to say that music is huge if not my top one. Granted it
isn’t on the “lists” but well if it is, that’s probably one of ‘em.
Some of the others that I think I may have at least a touch of; encouragement,
maybe forgiveness, discernment possibly things along that line. Made for an
interesting rehash of what I knew if you will. Definitely a good class that was
challenging; not academically perse, but still challenging nonetheless. So that
brings me to the least liked class of the semester. Sociology.
From
the getgo, it almost seemed as if the first prof had it in for me. I cant put my
finger on why that is but for some reason it seemed that way. There was
something about his mannerism that just clashed with me. Ironically, I didn’t
learn all that much in this class. I learned some but not as much as I had
hoped. I guess part of the conflict came from the fact that we have differing
views on things. Some I can see but others I cant. It was one of those things
that is like, umm ok this is downright confusing… in short I guess you could
say it was the clash of modernism and post-modernism mindsets. Myself being the
more modern one and the prof being the post-modern one. The real problem came
several weeks into the class after this first quiz or so. It’s usual that the
first quiz you get from a prof is typically pretty bad, I mean, you’re trying
to get a handle on what he tests for, what his tendencies are, that sort of
thing. The problem here was I couldn’t get a read on him. I didn’t get that
in the entirety of the time he was there. I said was there for a reason. He is
no longer on staff here at MNW. Apparently, in the doctrinal statement that he
signed to become staff, one page was forgotten because of a small clerical
error, as such the areas that he disagreed on were passed over because of that
small error. In essence, one of his statements was that the Bible was old
technology. To some degree that may be true; if and I repeat, if he means that
the printed word is old technology. The printed word is several centuries old
and now the trend is for E versions of things. In that sense I was ok with that
statement but to outright say that the Bible is old technology implies that
there will become a time when it is no longer relevant; which is entirely
untrue. He had us read a semi-novel semi-autobiography about a pastor who had
reached burnout. A guy came along oddly enough named Neo (the matrix anyone?)
and introduced him to the postmodern mindset and the guy all but bought it.
Needless to say, it was a clash of ideas for me. I won’t get into the book
here but I should have the book review I wrote up when this is posted.
So that brings me to the projects; which absolutely stunk imo…
first off, we got it in place of another paper which I would have preferred, and
secondly we didn’t get much help and it was a little nebulous of a project. I
hated it… I got it done but hated it… probably not the best part of my grade
but hey, I’m on the higher end of the grade spectrum probably so I guess
that’s all good but still, a big pain in the neck…
The quizzes in and of themselves
were the biggest drag of the whole class. When you score an 86% and that’s one
of the top grades and some people are scoring well below 50%, there’s
something seriously wrong with those quizzes. The first one came back and the
prof dropped the term “dumb” in conjunction with what the class was for not
getting it. Not in those words exactly but that was definitely implied. Ok first
off that was uncalled for. Secondly, even if he was right, the grades
consistently that low reflect back on the teaching style of the teacher. I ran
into a ton of trouble with that one and with subsequent quizzes. Well, a couple
weeks later I walked into class fully expecting another day of rather boring
stuff, when Dr. Lewis walked in. Jack is one of my other profs that I do like. I
have him for theology and I had him last year for New Testament Survey and
Personal Evangelism. Anyhow, it was a huge difference going from a guy I clashed
with to someone who I liked. It made for an odd semester in that switching profs
midstream is extremely rare. The look on Jack’s face though when he looked at
the quiz grades and stuff was really quite funny… I’m a 3.9+ student and I
scored a 56% on a quiz and 86% on another 2. Seriously, you think there’s a
problem there? Also, I’m close to a straight A student in every other class
and here I am hoping that I won’t get an F in that class. I’m not sure how
much I actually learned that class. Not much at best and close to nothing at
worst. It’s unfortunate but that’s how it is I guess. Frankly, I’ll be
glad to get this class over with. Today, December 10, I take the final and
that’s it. I will be very glad to kiss this class goodbye.
Aside from the whole issue
over the way the first prof carried himself and the Bible being old technology,
he also had some views that were contrary to Moody when it came to the role of
women in church. Which was another clash point between him and some of the
others. Personally, I’m not too set in that I have a set of rules and what
not, however I do think the role of pastor and elder should be filled by men. It
was a pain of a class to say the least. Annoying at best, and terrible at
worst…
Thursdays was another day of
theology. I slept in a bit and got to town around noon. It was only a couple of
hours so that was ok I guess. So, that brings me to the class that tied for my
favorite class of the semester… Psalms.
It’s interesting what can
come out in a book study stretched out into a semester. Some things came out in
that study that I had never noticed before. Just things that don’t make sense
unless there are things that you know before hand. Like what kind of a psalm it
is. Trust, lament, ascent, and so on. Because it was a Friday morning class that
would have been the time slot that I may have skipped just because, but that
really wasn’t an option. There was a draw in that class that I just couldn’t
skip it. Even though it meant getting up early on a Friday morning, I loved it.
I’ve got some of my Psalms notes that I’ll be sure to put up too. This very
easily could have been my favorite class and in all honesty, it’s right up
there in my favorite classes. Part of what we had to do was memorize and write a
short paper on a Psalm. I chose Psalm 46. What was cool about that was the
message in that Psalm is one that I ended up having to really hold to late in
the semester. The whole message of trusting God no matter what because He’s in
control of it all; that’s been a message that I’ve really needed for reasons
that I’ll get into later on. That combined with my Bible study class lead to
some great things. A special class to say the least; I really enjoyed it and
although I’m not one to enjoy poetry I enjoyed this class immensely.
So now the final event that
was noteworthy over the fall. Starting late in October I have all but lost a
friend who was very close to me. Over the summer, Katie and I had grown to be
close friends because of the several weeks that we were able to hear each others
voices. There’s something about being able to hear someone as compared to just
reading what they type and write. You can hear some of their reactions and
tendencies. It’s really pretty cool to be able to do that. Especially for
someone who you care for like a sister… I honestly never thought that we would
become that close of friends when we met a couple years ago on the boards. I
never thought that was going to happen, but it did and in a manner of speaking
it brought up what happened next.
As of now at least we aren’t
talking or anything. I have no idea how she’s doing or anything, which I
don’t like, but really I don’t have much choice. She’s gone… so all the
stuff that’s been going along with that has been happening. It’s not like we
broke up or anything because we were never a couple to start with. There were
several reasons why that wouldn't have worked but it just wasn’t the case.
Since that day when we parted ways so to speak in late October, it’s been up
and down for me. As late as wed night, (Dec 17) the memories and hurt from what
I had to do came back. The thing is I have no idea why. I have no idea. It’s
almost unbelievable in some ways. Did all that really happen? And the ever big
question, why did all that happen. Katie meant more to me than I think even I
realized as one level which may be something that helped surface the issue. Of
all the people I’ve ever known online, none has ever been closer, and even
when including people I know in person very few are closer. And those would be
members of my family only. In many ways, what I had with her was new for me. It
was a new experience letting someone in on exactly what was on my mind, what I
was feeling, when something hurt, when I was upset about something, when things
were hard, and vise versa really. There are very few people who I am as open
with as I was with her. There were things about my life that she was the first
to know about, so I guess you could say there was a very high level of trust
involved. Which is part of what made having to basically end the friendship even
more difficult because it felt like and still does to some degree that I
betrayed that trust, which was something I never wanted to do. Not to her, not
to anyone; especially her. So where does that leave me now? In some ways better
off, and probably in some ways worse off than I was before I knew her. There
have definitely been some changes that even indirectly she helped bring about,
but I also now know what it’s like to know that you had to hurt someone who
you loved to be perfectly candid. And that was one thing that I probably could
have lived without. I must say though while I’m at one level wishing that
certain things wouldn't have had to happen, from my end of the friendship at
least, I think I could say fairly confidently that I’d do it again. I don’t
know if anything would change, but in retrospect, I’m kind of thinking about
it this way… to change: is to risk pain in order to know what real love is…
I knew there was a chance of being hurt the closer of a friend I got to her, yet
that didn’t matter to me. Now that I’ve been through all this, I think I can
say that at least to a degree I know what real love is. Moreover, I know what
it’s like to be on the giving end of that love… Katie was and is a sister of
mine. Not by blood or physical relation, but the relation of two friends walking
along the road of life united in Christ. As much as I don’t want to get my
hopes up that things will change, its’ hard to avoid. Whether that’s a good
idea or not is up for debate, but if I’m not expecting, I can’t be
disappointed, hence why I’m thinking about things as I am…
This
has been an interesting semester to say the least as a wrap this up. The things
that happened with my socio class and Katie made it different from other
semesters that I’ve had so far. Yet, it was another step in whatever direction
I’m going, which I have no clue what direction that is. And that’s that is a
little scary. Rethinking career options is a bit scary because it’s one more
unknown in my life. Lots of things are unknowns right now. I hope the fog clears
soon so I can start moving in a clearer direction. Yet, the simple truth is
whatever happens, may it be for the glory of God. So, now the fall of 2003 is
complete and the spring semester of 2004 is a matter of weeks away from
beginning. “Whatever may come, whatever may be; of this I am sure. I’m
forgiven and I’m free” Geoff Moore – Good to be Alive. Words of
confidence, words to live by…
