What a differences a yea can make. so many things have changed; even in what was going on last year is no longer a factor. Karyan has moved on and now it’s not that that’s hard but now its’ losing Katie. I am currently in the back seat of a van enroute to Biggs Oregon and from there Mexico, so blame the poor writing on that. As I look around at this part of the group, I see only Jonny who went last year. Beside me john is sleeping and as we drive by an onion patch, Jonny and Ben D are playing music. They’ve stopped now but it was cool. So we are on stage 1 of my journey south. So far; it’s wet… rain all the way. I hope that once we get into Cali we’ll have sun. More to come later…
  3:40pm – left Bend Oregon. Not sure how long this leg will be but one thing is for sure, time is against me as far as writing is concerned. There’s going to be a ton of time when I can’t write. There is only so much time in a day when its’ light and after that, well, I’m sorta out of luck, guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Wonder how long before we cross into California.

  Sun Dec 14, 2004 7:49pm

Well things got interesting after sundown last night. Really it was a long night. Once we crossed into Cali, we ran into super heavy rain and winds. Those winds were realty diving the rain down hard. It was long also because if took me a ton of time to get to sleep. Actually I almost didn’t. Wendy john and I ended up talking for a while the it was just Wendy and i. For being up since 5:30(am), at almost 3ami was surprisingly awake. I finally did get to sleep though, granted only for a couple hours but I guess sleep is sleep.
  The road into Tecate was a lot more curvy than that into Tijuana. Quite surprising really. Lots of turns and sharp ones at that. Anyhow as can be expected church was once again much different. Three quarters of the church responded to a call to deeper faith and musically it was as loud as a concert. Or close to it at least, which is cool as far as I’m concerned.
   So the working 4 days begins tomorrow. I plan on pretty much working as I normally do. I’m in a team with Jonny, Kristen, Wendy, Jody, les, and Daniel. Nice in that I know all of ‘em. Should be cool to see how this changes if any as the days go by. Hmm, big bag under small so things will fit; sounds like a plan to me.
   I do hope Becky is doing ok tonight. She’s still on my mind somewhat; just as a friend but hey, a friend’s a friend right? So I guess I’m at that point where the recent past is the present memory. This will be an interesting trip to say the least. what all it will bring I honestly have no idea. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that things will happen. The question is what will they be. Hmm oops; just remembered I left my coffee mug in the van; lol, oh well, get it when I can I guess.
   So much was like what I remember, the rough road dirt roads, relative language barrier, less than well-to-do homes by American standards, but it seems as if the experience is differently somehow someway. I cant put my finger on it bit something is different this year, at least I perceive it to be different. is it? I don’t know, but hey speculation has been known to be correct… and wouldn't you know it, a wave of tiredness just hit. May as well all things considered, so I may as well call this good and start heading for bed. Or something like that at least.

  Mon Dec 15, 2004 7:30am

Monday morning - the word of the day is cold at least thus far. A little after 5 this morning I work up feeling like an ice cube. Well maybe not that bad but cold. So I’m sitting on the couch rather chilled but hey I’ve got coffee so it’ll all be good. 7:30 and it’s gotta be in the 30s. Too cold for my comfort.
   4:52pm – ok so the day ended a little warmer than it started. Not great but hey, whatever works. Its’ funny how worker efficiency is impeded by certain things; last of supplies, juice in the batteries, those sorts of things. Ironically, though it may work out if one of the two groups in the room today works tomorrow. Both pretty much know what the other was/is doing/ the drywall went up surprisingly fast. I guess we are close to completing all that was actually the project, whether or not it’s us who finishes is we’re close. The first time the little generator ran out of gas, Jorge for some, then Jonny tried to start it to no avail. Jorge took over not getting it to start but finally glancing at the on/off switch; yep it was off… the funny part of the day. Tomorrow the project that I was on should be completed. We’ve got the rest of the top and sides and then I think that part will be complete.
   The coke down here is definitely different from that if the states though. I’ve had almost a full liter this afternoon…
   So I guess it’s onto other things. I could have kept going personally but oh well I guess. All in a days work. Getting the water was interesting. Bill broke 1 though, couldn’t be helped but hey it was still funny to look back on. So now I guess its’ time for me to shift gears. Got a few other things to do in the time left.

  Tues Dec 16, 2003 5:31pm

Lol, just over 24 hrs since my last entry. It is still on the cold side in here. Maybe I’ll see if I can get dibs on the bed tonight, at least 1 good nights sleep. It’s been an interesting day; starting with heather forgetting the keys to a can and ending on a rather ironic note with Wendy. I was on the team that took off to the church in Tecate. We weren't able to do much as time was short, from about 10:30-1:00. Not much time to do much of anything. I got a look at the other4 state today too. Personally, I don’t like it as much as the one we built because I think studs are stronger than plywood. One 2x4 is better than 3 5/8 in sheets of plywood. Screws can strip out of the plywood easier when put into the ends; but oh well. I wasn’t in on the planning part of it. I’m hoping that I’m not getting sick too. This morning I felt like something was up. Maybe it’s just the wind; which there has been all trip, or maybe I am starting to get sick. It’s definitely been cool enough and I am a little low on sleep. Two more days to make it, 2 more days before my immune system can give in if it has to; not before. Least I hope it doesn’t…
   Lunch today was simply wow… pastor Roberto (who’s church we’re working on) and I think his family showed up around 1 and made us a huge meal. They brought in a huge wok and fried up a whole bunch of chicken… best bird I’ve ever had. It was definitely fascinating to watch. So hopefully more to come later…
   10:16pm – one word; tired. We went to Oscar’s church and as usual it was cold. My jacket disappeared too. Hopefully I’ll find it. it was quite a night at that church followed by a huge deal with our group. I’ve been so sore tonight; groin, knees, and ankles. When we got back, we had some worship time that was great. My first time playing djembe; I guess I’ll have to write more tomorrow.

Wed Dec 17, 2003 7:00am

  Waiting for Lette so we can get started on breakfast. It’s still windy today but not as bad as it has been, which is definitely nice. I’ve got 2 sweatshirts on and I’m still a bit cold. Really wish I knew where my jacket was. It would definitely be nice to have. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some coffee soon; that should at least help somewhat. Jonny’s getting up it looks like. Previous to that I was the only person not asleep in here. Let’s see if I can squeeze in a few more thoughts on last night.
   Especially in our own group… ok more later…
   7:42am – ok breakfast prep is done some I’m back; hacking up junk and all. I’m hoping he morning coffee will help clear that up. Not much to breakfast prep thankfully so I’m back to this. This is the last big day we’ve got. Tomorrow we’re going to have a short day than its’ off to heather’s baptism. Cool… so back to last night.
   It was a great night. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen what happened last night; that was a first. When we got back from the service, dinner wasn’t ready yet so we had worship first. Jerry took my slot on guitar and since Ben was sick (101 fever I guess) I took over on djembe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a group jump around like we did that night. I couldn’t be cause I was so tired but yea, nonetheless it was good. *yawns* well guess that’s it for now.
   12:52pm - waiting for mud to dry: literally. The joint compound is in various stages of dryness and we cant do much until that is dry. Plus the drills are dead and so on. Ben G is mixing up another batch of mud for the afternoon session but I figure if he needs me, he knows where to find me; we’re on break anyway I guess. At least we were. Tres (3) hrs ‘til the open house. It’s really starting to look good in there; things are taking shape nicely. I’m sitting on the gravel pile right now enjoying the sun that I wish would have been our stronger. The wind isn’t as strong so far so that’s nice.
   What a view; I can look out with my view being unobstructed for miles and miles over the city of Tecate and the mountains surrounding it. Without the generator going there’s a peaceful stillness in the air. There’s very little activity aside from an occasional car and or person walking around.
   9:43pm – this is what I had forgotten. This is the time that seemingly comes when I least expect. Those emotional highs of you will which are completely out of character. The ironic thing though is that I’ve run into these again and again. honestly I don’t like it. I hate not being able to control my emotions and all that goes along with that . it’s communion night… the finny thing is one of the psalms I thought about referencing was 51; funny but not unexpected really. On a night like this anything is possible. I shared something with the group from psalm 18:49 as to how in one way we are doing that, even now. That brought back the things I had noticed about God being a rock which created ties to psalm 46 and Katie. I guess in ways the hurt that I thought was gione has been reopened and I have no clue why. It’s not like this is anything new; what set me off tonight is nothing new. Why did this have to be reopened tonight? Why… why did this hurt and how much I miss her, the memories of how much I cared for her, why now God? Why… I thought it was time to move on. I thought I had dealt with that. I honestly thought I was done with that…

Thurs Dec 18, 2003 7:23am

  Almost hard to imagine the final 12 hrs here has begun. In a sense, it’s a good things because I’ll get home and rest; I’m borderline sick so it’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed again, not to mention get back to the gang. It was another cool night that required a sweatshirt midway through. Oh well I guess.
   I do wonder though why all those thoughts and memories of Katie came back last night. I thought I was over the hurt from that. Am I not? Did I just think I was and leave something undealt with? I have no clue honestly.

  Fri Dec 19, 2003 10:33am