New stuff added 24 July 2000

                 Word Play (Contributed by Ann Schadt)

*** Part I:  There are definitely some creative people out there... The
Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they
were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following
were some of the winning entries:

 - Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 - Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

 - Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

 - Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

 - Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
   answer the door in your nightie.

 - Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

 - Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

 - Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

 - Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
   run over by a steamroller.

 - Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

 - Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the
   priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's
   prayer book together just before vespers.

 - Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
   proctologist immediately before he examines you.

 - Marionettes (n.), residents of Washington who have been jerked around
   by the mayor.

 - Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

 - Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes
   up on the roof and gets stuck there.

*** Part II:  The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here
are some recent winners:

 - Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader
   who doesn't get it.

 - Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 - Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.

 - Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.

 - Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

 - Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
   really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
   like a serious bummer.

 - Glibido: All talk and no action.

 - Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
   they come at you rapidly.

 - Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts
   until you realize it was your money to start with.

Fun things to do on an elevator.....AKA a shortcut to Hell...


1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on
the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go
back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the
wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know
what floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After
awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on,
ask if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if
they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exit with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't
panic, they open up again."

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside,
ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then
announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers, "This is my personal space."

New stuff added 10 July 2000

New stuff added 7 July 2000

Smelly limburger saves the day

My cousin Bob and I go see a movie in Oakland, Ca.  Don't
remember what the movie was but did take a jar of limburger
cheese in to eat during the show.  Had just ate more than 
half when I dropped it and the jar rolled all the way down 
to the front row (clank - clank - clank).  Someone must have 
got a "stinky" surprise.  Anyway, Bob and I leave at the part 
where we came in.  Bob finds his billfold missing, but fortunately 
people had cleared the area around the limburger eating event, 
so that Bob recovered his wallet without loss.

New stuff added 2 July 2000

Benefits of Aging

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. - 
It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick. - 
Kidnappers are not very interested in you. - 
No one expects you to run into a burning building. - 
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" - 
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. - 
There's nothing left to learn the hard way. - 
Things you buy now won't wear out. - 
You buy a compass for the dash of your car. - 
You can eat dinner at 4:00 - 
You can live without sex but not without glasses. - 
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. - 
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. - 
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline. - 
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. - 
You get into a heated argument about pension plans. - 
You got cable for the weather channel. - 
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. - 
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. - 
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. - 
You send money to PBS. - 
You sing along with the elevator music. - 
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. - 
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. - 
Your back goes out more than you do. - Your eyes won't get much worse. - 
Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. - 
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service. - 
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. - 
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 

New stuff added 28 June 2000

Assembly puzzles

Concept puzzles

New stuff added 22 June 2000

I let Donnie be snake bitten!

We live up on the top of the hill at Bradley. That is where I played out
in the rut water (once) in the middle of the street.  One day my mother is 
out chasing a snake with some neighbor ladies. They have hoes, I would imagine.
Mother  has told me to stay on the porch - I don�t think I understood
what it was all about.  Anyhow, Donnie may have gone out in the yard. 
He is bitten by a spreading adder.  Mrs. Marshall sacrifices a chicken to
suck the poison out.  After things settle down I receive abundant 
punishment.  Early on I learned of the �5� poisonous types of snakes in
the US of A and imagine this is either non-poisonous or a local name for 
some kind of rattler or copperhead.

This is a quote from what the folks in Indiana say about the eastern 
hognose snake:

This snake is commonly called the puff adder, spreading adder, or blow 
viper. When it's disturbed, it "hoods" its neck, inflates its body, 
hisses loudly, and strikes. If this fails to discourage a predator, 
it can roll over and play dead with its mouth open and its 
tongue 
hanging out. It can even drip a little blood from its mouth and release 
a foul smell. It will become limp and remain "dead" when picked up, but 
it will roll over again if placed right side up. In captivity, however, 
it loses its willingness to display these protective techniques. Hognose 
snakes rarely bite people. These snakes are active in the daytime 
and burrow deep into loose earth in the cold winter months.

Their URL giving a picture and other information is: 
http://birch.palni.edu/~drigg/hognose.htm

A bit about the Freeman family

By Imogene Barger

   The Freeman name can be traced to the old English word �Freo
mann� and goes back to at least 1066.  It means a free man who 
was not born to serve a master.
   There were Freemans in America as early as 1635 when Edmond
Freeman arrived in Lynn, Massachusetts from Oxford, England. 
Many others followed and founded settlements in New Jersey, 
Connecticut, Pennsylvania, and Maryland to comprise a strong 
contingent who would later lead courageous Americans in the wars 
of the Revolution and Independence.
   That �Free-man� image carried down through the generations 
and they dared to be different, most of them could be classified 
as �free spirits�.  They found their way to the Binger area in 
1901 and through the years left their mark in many things.
   Edward and Elizabeth Richardson Freeman had eight children: 
Charley, born February 1855; Albert, born May 1858; Daniel, born 
April 1866 in Iowa; Jenny (Perry) born May, 1869; Eddie, born 
July, 1871; Josie (Mosely) born August, 1875, John, born 
January, 1875 and Frank, born July, 1877.
   Albert Freeman was one of the first inhabitants of Binger 
when it was founded.  He owned a saloon and there was always a 
Freeman with some kind of business in Binger where until the 
death of Dodge Freeman in 1969.
   Most everyone can remember the Freeman Corner in Binger where 
Highways 281 and 152 intersect.  It housed several businesses 
through the years and was presided over by Dodge Freeman.  He 
had a shop there and was an eccentric genius to say the least. 
But like all geniuses, he had a few hare-brained ideas that 
didn�t quite work out.  One was the helicopter he made using a 
motorcycle motor, but the motor wasn�t powerful enough to fly 
it.  Maybe the idea wasn�t so hare-brained when one stops to 
think how much ahead he was of the rest of the area � one 
realizes the first successful helicopter was developed in the 
fall of 1939 and didn�t really come into muck use until 1950.
   Also many will remember the Binger Drugstore, owned by 
Charley Freeman � Eddie�s son (Charley and his brother , Bus 
live in Hinton). Charley is so interesting to visit with.  He 
tells me he was only 3 months old when he arrived there in 
1901. �Faye Rosser  was first baby born there.� says Charley.  
Charley was also the first graduate of the Binger High School 
and the only onethat year of 1921.  He had to buy his own 
diploma and graduate with the eight grade.  Howard Fugate later 
reimbursed him the $2.00 for the diploma after he heard Charley 
had to buy his own.
  Charley married Lucille Cunningham in 1924 and at their shower 
everyone wrote their prediction of the couple�s future.  Among 
the guests that predicted the future, some funny and some 
serious, but all interesting were; Msr. Gene Smith, Carrie B. 
Keller, Mrs. Tucker, Sallie Fugate, Mrs. James, Lula Freeman, 
Maggie Sterling, Mrs. Jud Savage, R. G. Rosser, Mrs. Cunningham, 
Kate Hauser, Mrs. Ernest Doyle, Mrs. G. A. Opitz, Mrs. W. L. 
Ficklin, Mrs. Frank Campbell, Mrs. H. Z. cook and Mrs. G. S. 
Burghart.
   Charley also has pictures of some of Binger�s early ball 
teams and knows so much about the town and people that I could 
have visited him for hours.
   Daniel Freeman was a �Sooner�.  He left his home in Iowa at 
the age of 12 and rode a horse all over Kansas and down into 
Oklahoma, where he lived with the Comanche Indians.  The chief 
was Quanah Parker.  When he was older he made a dug-out near the 
Comanches and shared it with a pet bullsnake.
   He always said he was an Indian by choice and spoke several 
Indian languages.  Actually his nationality was Dutch and 
English.  The affinity for Indians seemed to run in the family 
because John lived with the Caddo Indians for sometime.  The 
Shemayme family was one he lived with.  John never married and 
spent most of his life trapping and hunting.
   Daniel had many tales to tell of his early days and 
adventures.  One was that Quanah Parker wanted him to marry his 
daughter and if he did, he would become a chief of the 
Comanches.  But Daniel declined the offer, perhaps he wasn�t 
ready to settle down yet.
   The love�bug must have finally bitten, because on March 17, 
1897 at the age of 31, he married Phoebe Ann Clark, a 
transplanted Kansas girl, in Oklahoma.  She came to the state 
with her parents, George Edwin and Mary Lucretia (Sade) Clark, 
in the run of 1889.  They staked a claim near Daniel�s dug-out.
   Later, when Daniel and Phobe married, they lived in the dug-
out until a sod house could be built, but the pet snake had to 
go.  It seemed the new bride and the pet snake weren�t too 
compatible.  The homestead was near Fairview and the homestead 
papers were filed in Alva.
   Three children were born in the sodhouse.  Dodge Claude in 
1898, Carl Raymond in 1899, and Beulah Laverne in 1901.  
   In 1902, the wander-lust again  seized Daniel, and he loaded 
his family and possessions into a covered wagon and headed for 
Arkansas.  It took three months to complete the journey. Phoebe 
Ann drove the wagon most of the time while Daniel rode ahead and 
blazed a trail.  Their meat was shot as needed, quite often by 
Phoebe Ann.  Quail, prairie chicken and other game was plentiful.
   While in Arkansas two more children were born; Lula Estelle 
in 1903 and Teddy Roosevelt in 1905.  In 1908, after Oklahoma 
became a state, they moved to the Binger area.  The rest of the 
Freeman family had been in the Binger area since 1901.
   The parents, Edward and Elizabeth, with their son Charley, 
had bought a farm in the Centerville community, one mile north 
and three miles east of Binger.  Later, Ed Freeman and his wife 
Ollie, with their sons Bus and Charley, moved out to help with 
the farm.  But after two years moved back to Binger and opened a 
caf�, and Edward went with them.
   The Daniel Freemans then moved out to the farm to help 
Charley.  Beulah Freeman Opitz said one of the happiest 
childhood memories was about driving the team and wagon for her 
Uncle Charley while he peddled fruit and vegetables door to door 
in Binger and Anadarko.
   The Freeman farm was considered the show place of the 
community at that time.  It had trimmed cedar trees on each side 
of the long walk to the front gate.  It was also the only place 
in the country with a lawn and a lawnmower.  It also had a 
large, well-kept orchard and grape vineyard.
   Dodge Freeman started to high school in Binger while they 
lived on the farm and had to walk their and back.  But the next 
year, when Carl started, they had a horse to ride.
   Information for this article was from Charley Freeman and 
Vivienne Opitz Demitt.  Vivienne is the daughter of Beulah
(Freeman) and George Opitz, who met when the Daniel Freemans 
moved to the farm in 1913.  She was 12 and he was 14.  They 
spent their teen-years visiting back and forth with their 
families.  And they were married in 1920.  They lived in Binger 
five years, also in Kiowa, butler, and Edmond, before moving to 
the state of Washington in 1939.  They moved with six kids, a 
dog and a cat, and all their worldly possessions piled into a 
Model A Ford and a trailer.
   Beulah is still active at 84.  She attends several clubs, 
still drives a car, and makes a big garden, most of which she 
gives away, canning or freezing the rest.  She also has all kind 
of flowers inside and out.  And up until the last year had 
traveled somewhere each year.
   The �Free Spirit� of people like thew Freemans is what made 
out country great.

The above article was published in the North Caddo County News, 
Thursday, April 25, 1985.

Info on Quanah Parker may be found at 
http://www.lnstar.com/mall/texasinfo/quanah.htm

Copyright 2000 Carl Freeman All rights reserved.

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