14/9/03

Dear Gav,
You will not believe how horrible my night last night was...the Essendon scumbags who took me all the way to this strange city were so fired up about the game i was left on the team bus until half time when they came to get the oranges. After the game there was so much crying in the locker room..Hird and Llyod were locked in an embrace bawling their eyes out for about half an hour...all i could hear them saying was "No it was my
fault"...As they started drowning their sorrows i tried to make a run for the door, this guy they call Tredrea grabbed me and started laughing at me..."Hey fella's check this out, it's a Collingwood Bear". Before i knew it i was in the middle of a huddle with the hideous song filling my ears...

"We've got the Power to win
Power to rule
Come on, Port Adelaide aggression
We are the Power from Port
It's more than a sport
It's true Port Adelaide tradition
We'll never stop, stop, stop
Til we're top, top, top
There's history here in the making
Port Power to win
We'll never give in
Til the flag is ours for the taking"

They then through me around the circle laughing at my black and white jumper...the last thing i remember was being stuffed into a player bag and this guy saying "Stay there and be quiet or i'll crush you like the way we are going to crush that Magpie Scum next week..."

Gav i can't bear anymore of this...tell the Army to rise up and bring me home!!
Go Pies
Love
Collingwood Bear

Any assistance in tracking down the Collingwood Bear, a.k.a. Bucks would be greatly appreciated. Email your messages of support to [email protected]

15/9/03

Dear Gav,
I have gone from bad to worse. Those Essendon supporters were mere Angels compared to this feral Port Adelaide lot. They are madder than a Collingwood supporter who has just found out his dole payment didn't go through. This lot over here haven't stopped talking about their demolition of the Bombers. I had been in their possession for one minute and they were already bagging Taz, Mick and Eddie. I heard Choco Williams say that Micky has no idea about being part of Collingwood and I piped up that they are all close over there, cos I even saw Licca crying on his shoulder last year.

I have had a terrible last couple of days as the Power supporters are trying to compromise me by prostituting me on the www.designerlove.com website. They have even changed my name to the Port Power Bear. They haven't had many
takers yet but I reckon that's cos they submitted a photo with a bag over my head. I am scared that they are going to let some rabid Port fan have their way with me under the pretence that I am one of them. Can you get some help for me, all I can tell you is that I am being kept in a dark cupboard and I can hear water and what seems to be ship horns and sirens. I am scared Gav and I wish to be back in your arms.

The people over here keep talking about the football jihad and they say they have enlisted the skipper's cousin Saddam Primus to torture me. Can't the Army help me?

Gotta go someone is coming. Please send help!
Little Bucks xo