I don't really know what to write, but I got a lot of
shit stored in my head that I could bitch for hours.
But that would bore you all so I won't do that. Right
now I'm depressed, pissed off, happy and worried. I'm
depressed because my boyfriend who claimed to love me
and would forever, dumped me. Well that happens all
the time, but the day he dumped me he began dating my
cousin. I feel betrayed by both sides and they act as
though I'm being immature for acting out on it. Like I
won't react to that shit! I sit around plot revenge
upon them both but mostly I think of the guy that I've
had a crush on for over a year. We're like best
friends and it's cool and all but damnit! I wanna fuck
him! Wait, maybe not that intencely but damnit! My
best friend lives in Michigan, I live in West
Virginia, my other best friend just had a baby. I go
up all the time and help with the baby. I've been so
depressed the past month I lost a lot of weight. I
don't like being so skinny. But fuck it. I miss going
to school and seeing my friends but I hate school so
much, plus I think I'd be suspended for shoving
Heather in a vending machine. I like the school I'm
going to, sure I don't exactly agree with the Bible
shit but I didn't agree with a lot of shit that public
schools make you do. Everyone's grown up on me. I mean
Jackie had a baby and had to mature, Eddie went to
college, umm..Jake went down in the world, now dating
a 14 year old. I'm just fucked in the head but at
least I'm not that fucked up. I want to go to a party
this weekend but Jake's going to be there, yipee. I
mean shit, if I get drunk and he's around it ain't
like I'm going to beat the shit outta him, I might
cuss him off or somethin, but I'd probably just sit in
the corner and cry. That's why I don't get drunk
unless it's just with a few of my friends, cause
getting drunk makes me emotional. I hate it. I don't
know what else to write. I mean, I got dumped for my
cousin, I wanna date Eddie now, I wanna get drunk, and
I wanna make Jake and Heather suffer. Did I mention I
wanna prove everyone wrong in the world? Everyone
thinks I'm going through a phase. "Oh, she's being
weird because she's going through that stage." Fuck
that, I'm not going through a stage, This is me in all
my glory. I have my few friends, Mandy, Jackie, Eddie,
Clorinda, and I have my fun, getting drunk, and I have
my intrests, writing. I enjoy life right now, not to
say what'll happen in a month or so. 
