Previous chapter.

Next chapter.

This is an ad-hoc-critique. If you want to know more about how I did these unique way of feedback and what are the differences between the original forum messages and this HTML versions, follow this link.

The original post to Scipio's Forum is at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Scipio_Forum/message/22864

This link works only if you're logged in at groups.yahoo.com and subscribed to Scipio's Forum.

Begun: 21-03-2005,
13:15 CET.
Ended: 21-03-2005,
15:42 CET.

Finally, chapter 19 is up! The members of Scipio's forum had heard rumours and SWAGs about it since Christmas or the beginning of the year!

Remember, what Nick once wrote (before he decided to split it in two chapters):

Ch19 is a pivotal chapter, with lots of fun, but also some key revelations. In addition, it's a complex chapter — not in terms of actions, but of emotions. Now that Paul is truly becoming an adult, the world isn't as black-and-white as it used to be.

Chapter 19 is a double-pack with chapter 20, which is announced to come out in a week, so this time waiting is not so long as usual, but also time for interpretatitons and SWAGs is shorter. (BTW: The chapter is slightly shorter than most of the chapters in SC3, 12841 words in my copy).

What we're expecting from this chapter (and the following) are — besides the hot sex — answers to the questions we have. What will happen on the ski-trip? Is there enough snow? Will Kendall and Paul meet with Wren? Why has Paul to wait for? For whom? Will Leah have sex with Paul? Will Gina be pissed if she learns about Kendall's visit in Atlanta? How much costed a vibrator back in 1981? What are Paul's conclusions?

"It's all about trust," said Adam Payton, as Nick revealed on Saturday — I was tried to cheat and search the chapter for the phrase, but resisted. I also resisted to search for "Paul, wait!" but read it from the beginning.

Finally, we learn about Gina's study results — what was very surprising. More surprising, Paul's card is better, straight A's, (even Joska gave him an A, but in his enthusism Paul didn't consider about). As he is calling Kendall, he learns about her C in O. chemistry — should have Kendall some more problems, which Paul and we don't know?

I hate French.

And she hates, that she didn't made it on the Dean's list. And probably she will hate Gina for making it.

"But I also got a B in French," she said miserably. (...) Her unexpected B- had dropped her semester GPA ...

Is there some inconsistence?

Since the chapter 18 ended funny, this chapter had to begin with some problems. The next scene is showing Gina meeting their sorority sisters at the airport. Hayley-slut got her fourth strike. (Wasn't she already out?) — I noted, that Jessica sat with Paul and Gina's mother aparted from the other girls.

I wonder if Elizabeth was teasing Paul, as Leah drove them back, but it wasn't told. :-( (It would be inappropriate, anyway).

The next part of the story is teaching us about flying and air traffic controllers, but results in Beth and Erin meeting with their father in NYC, what means that Kendall and Paul will have "stormfree", i.e. literally translated from German, meaning they haven't anybody around for overviewing them.

It seems, Paul hasn't coerced Kendall into flying, as he is going to Chattanooga by car for fetching Kendall. We are meeting Detective Dahlgren, somehow the name appears familiar to me (certainly a model named Sophie Dahlgren I am remembering).

The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

Why Paul? You did something bad? The next question is, is Det. Dahlgren only a supporting character or will he play a role in the future?

"If Kendall knew we were having this discussion," he began, "I'd never hear the end of it. So let's just keep this between us men."

Some serious talk is coming up, I feel.

"Are you sleeping with my daughter?" he asked bluntly.
At that point, I wondered how much it would hurt when he killed me.

(I remember, back in SC2, Kendall, said "I'm dead.")

"Yes, sir,"

I never was in this situation, since for my first gf I already was the 3rd or so (she was two years older than me) and after that, I and the following girlfriend were old enough, that such a question was ad absurdum. Nevertheless, the conversation between Adam and Paul is weird, because I can't imagine, that Adam really didn't know about Kendall and Paul — and maybe Gina. It is simply not possible. What did the Payton's and esp. Adam think, as Gina and Paul were travelling in Europe?

And it's all about trust, son.

It comes early, not to cheat wasn't too much to resist. ;-)

"So this was some kind of interrogation?"
To my surprise, he laughed humorlessly. "I guess it was," he said at last.
"Why?"
"Son, I've known that you and Kendall were sleeping together for a couple of years."
"You have?" I rasped.
"Of course I have," he said. "I'm not blind. I'm not stupid, either."

But what's about Gina? Does he know even that?

"Kendall never finds out we had this conversation. As far as she's concerned, I don't know a thing about you two sleeping together. Are we clear?"

Oh man! I think if I — each of us, maybe — ever had such a conversation I would have stammered even more than Paul.

Note to self: Don't underestimate Adam.

IIRC, Adam is the third person on the list of persons, Paul remindes hisself not to underestimate: Beth, his father and now Adam.

Adam and Paul talked also about pregnancy, and it is for the 3rd time pregnancy is mentioned in the last few chapters, but I won't discuss it here.

Lou Dahlgren is Uncle Lou for Kendall, so he is obviously Adam's partner for several years, since Kendall was little.

"What were you and my father really talking about?"

Seems, that Kendall is really a cop's daughter. Maybe she should change her profession wishes. The following scene is kind of funny, not real, but it has some comic since Kendall assumes, what Adam and Paul spoke about, but Paul wouldn't confirm it. Maybe Paul should consider, also not to underestimate Kendall, whatever problems she has else.

Is it that, what Kendall wants? Live together with Paul?

* * *

Some weeks ago a new girl was introduced on Nick's website, Felicia. Some days ago, Nick said in the forum, that we also met her and proposed for our SWAGs. The first message on this (by Ed) mentioned the salesgirl who had modeled a pair of stockings in SC2. It can be read here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Scipio_Forum/message/22507 ;
you need to be logged in into Scipio Forum for following the link).

Note: Ed is a fellow writer, who publishes under the nym "be287m"
Read Ed's stories at ASSTR.
(Note added to HTML version)

On the way home, I pulled into a shopping center and parked in front of a women's clothing store. I was familiar with it, since I'd been there to shop for Gina. (It was the store where the salesgirl had modeled a pair of stockings for me, more than a year before.)

Yeah. So what is Paul Up To?

"My girlfriend's looking for a bra and panty set," (...)
"Something sexy."
"Certainly," the salesgirl said, her eyes smiling. "Right this way." (...)
"I'd say... a 38D. Right?"
Kendall blushed, but nodded. "Sometimes, I'm a DD," she added, (...)
"You don't need to measure?" I asked.
Kendall flashed me a startled look.
I tried not to appear as lecherous as I was feeling.
"I think you're right," the salesgirl said after a moment. "We'd better measure." Then she winked at me.

Should one fantasy become true for Kendall? Will Paul coerce her into sex with a stranger woman?

"I'm Felicia, by the way," the salesgirl said.
"I'm Paul," I said. "And this is Kendall."

be287m was really deadon.

As I watched the two of them, I thought about Kendall's fantasy of sex with a stranger.

Yeah! (Again.)

What are you doing?" Kendall whispered when the blonde was out of earshot. "Your fantasy," I said. "You, me, and a stranger?" Her eyes widened. "But I thought..." "You thought we'd do something with Wren?" I asked softly. She nodded.

What was this thing with preoccupation?

Kendall is doubting and has fears.

Correction to this HTML version: Instead of "preoccupation" read "predetermination".

"Trust me," I said.

Summer Camp is a Coming To Age Story, but more and more it is becoming a story of Trusting Each Other.

"Maybe we could see what time Felicia gets off work...," I prompted.
"I hadn't thought of that."
That's because you've never tried to seduce a woman before, I thought.

That Paul also does not have any experiences — more or less all the women he slept with (Susan, Stacy, Gina, Kendall, Annika, Heather, Leah, Kara, Amy) were eager to lay him or get laid. (No, please, no discussion and case studies!).

"I like the belly chain," Felicia said, nodding at Kendall's waist.

The belly chain Kendall got in the Town does not appear very often.

"If you put the garters straps on over your panties," Felicia explained, "then you can't take them off without undoing the straps." "Ah," Kendall and I said in unison.
(...)
"Here," I said, "let me help." With that, I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of Kendall's panties and tugged them over her hips. Since the garter straps were undone, they didn't interfere.
Kendall gasped in shock as I deftly lowered her panties to her knees. At that point, it was Felicia's turn to be shocked, since she was suddenly face-to-face with Kendall's perfect, hairless pussy.
From where I bent over, still grasping Kendall's panties, Felicia and I locked eyes. I smiled and arched an eyebrow, daring her to react. With deliberate aplomb, she reattached the stockings to the garter straps and then flashed me a defiant — and aroused? — look.
I silently pulled Kendall's panties back into place.
"There," Felicia said, standing. "That's much better. Now you can go to the bathroom."

Practical, but wrong, isn't it? Short time after, and the criminal career of Paul begins ;-)

When the total flashed on the cash register, I tried not to gulp. Then I wondered how I was going to explain $288.40 worth of "emergency" clothing.
With barely a tremor, I handed over the Visa and prayed that Felicia didn't pay attention to the name on the card. Fortunately, she didn't, and I signed the receipt.

(In case it will be needed, I would swear in the court, that really an emergency has occured!)

We ended up at a steak restaurant near the Perimeter.

Had to look at wikipedia.com what was that.

As soon as we sat down, I suggested a bottle of wine (and prayed that the waiter wouldn't ask for my ID, since I was still too young to drink).

I again and again am wondering: you are an adult and you even can die for Uncle Sam, but they don't allow you to get drunk. American lawmakers are the Taliban of the Western World. (I Don't Get It!)

"Why don't we go fix our makeup before supper gets here," Felicia suggested.

Women are doing that all the time, especially in SC3.

"Let's take a powder before we go," she said to Kendall.

What Felicia is Up To? Is she a sister of Regan? She has an expensive appartment, which is payed by her boyfriend, who actually lives in Argentina (not Columbia?). (Certainly she isn't Regan's sister, because of Columbo's or Joe Whatshisnames razor).

"My boyfriend brings this stuff from Colombia," Felicia said, interrupting us as she entered the room. "It's really good snow."

The chapter turned nastier, than I expected.

Kendall squirmed and looked at me, her eyes wide.

Eyes wide? Why? Because she was surprised? Or because she was curious about Paul's reaction? Or because she feared Paul's reaction?

"Snow"? I wondered.

Paul is slow on the uptake, isn't he?

What's she talking about? "Snow," as in cocaine...

"Here," Felicia said, extending the plate to Kendall.
"Ladies first."
Then, to me, "I cut you a fat line, though, since you started late."

So, it is implied, that Kendall didn't start late. What also implies, that as they were powdering their nose, they did at least talk about it, but certainly used some. What implies, that Kendall used it before. Or should I write 'confirm'?

To my utter disbelief, Kendall took the proffered plate. She glanced at me nervously, but then seemed to steel her nerve.

Kendall feared Paul's reaction, I guess, is the answer to the question some lines above.

She didn't do it as confidently as Felicia had, but she wasn't awkward either.

(...)

In the blink of an eye, my whole world shrank to that solitary line of coke.

Did he or did he not?

So we know the cliff-hanger now. Nick, your reader's will hate you. The Kendall fans will hate you even more. You destroyed our goddess within twenty lines. For more than two books and 18 chapters we liked Kendall, because she wasn't bitchy as Gina sometimes was. We liked her, because she wasn't flying Columbia Airways and wasn't affilated with Regan and their friends. And now, all of SC3 was not true? (Or should I say, Paul's truth was different to the reality?) Now, Kendall is doing the stuff, which most of us expected Gina is doing. Is this the reason, why Kendall's results had been that bad? And when Kendall was introduced into coke? Had been Mr. Big Mistake Guy and Hayley-slut involved? How will Paul react? Will he dump Kendall? Will he like it? Will they meet Wren? Will Paul realise a fantasy of Kendall again, ever?

Nick, you are really TERB. Go ahead.