lees driving tips

Lee's Theory of Driving and Traffic Rules

Ie, how I get around

People often complain about my driving. "Aaahh! were all going to die" and "Did you REALLY have to do that!!?!" are often heard. I always have a rule or saying to go with the crazy stunt and I have decided to get them all together so all can see. So here is the comprehensive list of rules that I drive by.

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Do not get in a car w/ Lee when it is wet out, he has a habbit of hitting sign posts.



	Lee's Rules of Traffic and Driving: (don't give this to the cops...or my dad) 1) Drinking and Driving: I don't drink and drive. My dad says what I do can't be called driving, therefore I'm not drinking and DRIVING. 2) Stop Signs: Stop signs in areas you know are optional.This is because you know the likelyhood of a car comming and more importantly, if cops hide around it waiting for people like you. 3) Traffic Lights: Same goes for traffic lights. Red lights after about 8pm weeknights and all day sunday are optioanl, though saterday nights the cops are usually out looking for drunks so not advised unless your in backstreets or there are some nearby to hide in. 4) Speed limites: The posted speed limit is what you should be doing if it is raining, dark, you are drunk and there are cops about. Add about 5-10 Km/H per condition NOT present at time of driving, unless it is the cop one. 5) Roundabouts: At the same times that red lights are optional, so is the direction of travel around roundabouts, choose whichever way gets you to the side you want to be on quickest, or to pass someone slow if you are going to be turning right off one. 6) Speed Bumps. Slow down for these no matter what, unless they were stupid enough to put the one for the other side of the road a few meters up, such as each side of a zebra crossing, then you can weave around them. I thank the designers of Robina Town Centre for making my 4:45 am trips to work that much easier. 7) Security Guards: Not proper cops so don't pay them any attention, chances are they do the same things that you do anyway, thinking they are above the law. 8) Parking: If the car is in, it dosn't matter if it faces 75 degrees off paraell to the lines, so long as you can get out of the car somehow.Always park away from things with bullbars cause thay don't care how they pull out and will strip off paint without a car if you are too close. 9)Cops in Cars: for some reason cops either drive 10k under or over the limit. if over you can speed to but keep about 15m behind them. If they are going slower I have noticed NOONE wants to pass them, but you can do so legaly and I do. And the trafic is clear ahead cause noone passes and everyone ahead had disappeared into the distance.When the cops pull of the road you can speed up with the knowledge that there is noone ahead of you to run into. 10)Transit Lanes: If they pull you over for being the only one in the car, complain that thay are picking on a minority (there IS only one of you). Always have an excused like "I was just about to turn down that road and had to pull into the transit lane to get to it". 11)Sound: Keep the music up loud and the widows open.Give the poor people with bad incar stereos a taste of what they are missing, and it covers up the bad sounds that occasionally come out of the engine. I drove my car for 10 km after getting the stereo out and heard atleast 6 sounds I had never heard before (and don't want to hear again). 12)Final: Basicaly, the theme is to do whatever you can get away with without getting caught. My theory is that if you stick to the rules you soon get bored of driving. Have some fun, weave across 4 lanes, see how close to the traffic island you can get without scraping your tires (at atleast 60kph). I know people who drive for a year and hate it already. I have been driving for 3 years and i still enjoy it. Who is better off really?

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