John's Game Quotes

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My Shelob-senses are tingling.

THE CAST:
John: GM
Brendan: Slag, the troll
Chris: Gmork, the troll (Frankenstein)
Jen: "Bobzhnak" the Uruk-hai
Amy: Villanelle, Gondorian "mage"

6/22/05

On using appearance bonuses with the current party, or ewww:
Amy: That'd be even worse. Troll leans across the table, "Hey baby…"
Jen: And they used to be converted Ents, so they could have some serious wood.

On Chris' troll character, Gmork:
Amy: But you know you're a little more likeable than smart.
Chris: (sadly) But nobody knows but me.

On the downfalls of trolldom:
Chris: Oh, my God, I'm a retard.

On the downfalls of lack of smarts:
Brendan: (to Amy, on Chris' character) He could be your pet troll.

On skills, some more useful than others:
Chris/Gmork: I really don't think I'll ever use ride.

On point and match:
Amy: Hey, the trolls in The Hobbit had a campfire. They could deal with fire.
Chris: Yeah, but they were smart enough to talk.

On Uruk-hai, or questions maybe not worth asking:
Amy: By the way, I'm the only woman…
Jen: No, you're not!
Amy: Bob's a female?
Jen: Yeah!

On special arrows:
Brendan: It's an arrow. But it's big.

On Boromir's gift from Lady Galadriel, a golden belt:
Brendan: Is it like a really huge belt buckle? Like, "what you got?" "A box." "A phial." "Yeah, but you didn't get this belt buckle."

On Mordor insignias, why to wear:
John: Because they make you look more dangerous than you might otherwise, and definitely more so than you really are.

On good question:
Jen: Why is the troll sitting in my lap, I wonder.

On trolls and talking animals:
Brendan: It'd be like eating Donkey from Shrek. "Ah, thank you for saving me." Chomp!

On odd things to find in the ruins of land-locked Angmar:
John: There's a ten foot boat.
Brendan/Slag: You want boat in wagon?

On subtle hints:
John: You are going to Laketown. Laketown. Maybe the boat will do some good there.

On infravision:
Jen: My Shelob-senses are tingling.

On nice use of rhyme:
Chris: Cock the rock, ready to rock.

On Jen's hide roll:
Brendan: Ah, she's Han Solo on Endor.

On Beornings:
Brendan: Damn it, it's the Johnsons again. The ones that turn into bears. Way to ruin a party.

On to a troll, is there any other kind?
Gmork: I like the squishy kind.

On they ain't that dumb:
Brendan: Are [the people we're ambushing] running?
John: No shit, they're running.

On what might happen if the wagon was stolen:
Brendan: "Hey, there's a hot chick under the boat. Sweet!"
John: "We found the treasure."

On the boat, uses:
Amy: What if it's a cursed boat of sinking?
Jen: We could give it to Smaug, that would really piss him off.
Amy: No, give it to Bard.
Brendan: Yeah, you coud go, "Hey, Bard, here's a boat." And he'd be like, "Hey, hot chick in a boat…" [mimes sinking] thunk!
John: That would be cool.

On how to catch up distance while running:
Jen: Stop stepping on gophers.

On fumbles:
John: (to Slag) You bite off and swallow your own tongue.

On biting his tongue:
Brendan/Slag: As long as I don't acquire a strange taste for my own tongue. "Hmm… I really want some troll tongue." [to Chris/Gmork] When you die, I'm taking your tongue.

Copyrights & Credits

Poetry © Amy Edwards, 2005.
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