Ambercon Northwest Quotes

Phantoms and Fires Quotes

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Dust 2 Dust

The Cast:

Jen as the GM and all NPCs
Bernie as Finndo
Erik as Benedict
Glen as Dalgon (Dexter) Swayvill
Amy as Patriline Souric
Don as Dumet Swayvill

The Quotes:

On Amber not officially recognized as existing by Chaos:
Dumet: Can’t even move troops through, since it’s technically a void.
Glen: Well, everyone needs void training.

On attempting to instill paranoia:
Jen: (to Dalgon) You receive a Trump call. Right after you see your younger brother shot [by a crossbow bolt on a party trump line] - are you going to accept?

On Osric or Finndo, I can’t remember which is which:
Amy: Is Oberon a little drunk?
Jen: He’s totally hung over.
Don: Look, it’s Oberon trying to keep track of his children.

On ways to talk to the king:
Oberon: And talk to your mother.
Don: Tell her I’d like to solve some of those [sexual] problems you mentioned.
Amy: [shaking her head] Patriline likes his jaw right where it is.

On ailments:
Jen: (to Benedict) Not to be mean, but Balthasar could have turned your brain into Swiss cheese.
Bernie: Yeah, unfortunately he seems to have a bad case of crossbow bolt.

On problems and problem-solving:
Jen: (to Dumet) Normally, women are afraid of you, but whenever you go to Hendrake you get hundreds of little Hellmaids following you around.
Dalgon: I’ll come with you and fend them off.
Don/Dumet: Uhh...

On Chinaway:
Lessima: He’s always been so... temperamental.
Dumet: That’s the reason why he’s not the best.

On Benedict and popularity:
Karm: I understand.
Benedict: Good, then I won’t have to repeat myself.

On why Swayvill couldn’t have Trumped you:
Chanicut: He’s been unconscious all day.
Dalgon: I don’t see why that should stop him.
Chanicut: Sheep!

On Benedict and jurisdiction:
Benedict: I’ll talk to Oberon about it later.
Jen: Yeah, you will talk to Oberon, and it may involve getting your jaw broken again.

On haunted ships or traps:
Jen: You have about twenty officers inspecting that ship. Would you like to go on the ship and speak to them?
Benedict: No, I’ll speak to them when they leave the ship.
Don: The Captain of the ship sticks his head out, “Send - More - Cops!”

On not necessarily rhetorical questions:
Aldara: He wanted the throne of Amber.
Patriline: He did?
Aldara: I mean, who doesn’t want the throne of Amber?
Patriline: I don’t.

On walking the Pattern and bloodlines:
Patriline: You really think I could?
Oberon: Hell yeah, I think you could.
Don: (as Oberon) Why do you think I talk to you?

On the repeating line of the game:
Jen: And I’ll tell you when you wake up.

A Typical Saturday Morning With The Kids

THE CAST

Derrick as Gris, son of Eric
Katie as Kaida, daughter of Benedict
Jen as Aderyn, daughter of Flora
Amy as Briallen, son of Corwin
Don as the GM and everyone else

THE QUOTES

On letting Flora dress you:
Aderyn: Mother, mother, stop moving my breasts.

On Psycho, or Gris’ close relationship with his father:
Jen: (on Briallen) Briallen sits there and makes small talk with himself.
Derrick/Gris: I’ll talk with my father.

On hope:
Random: And I don’t know how I feel about [shadow dwellers] capturing a Chaos Lord on their own.
Gris: Maybe he sucks.

On violence and Amber:
Don: “We should kill that.” “That’s your uncle.”
Katie, Jen and Amy: [unison] So??

On how’s that working out for you?
Katie/Kaida: If Benedict can do it, I can do it!

On while you’re down there:
Jen: Is it a male or female hydracore?
Don: What? You slide underneath it so you check out its junk?

On fitting in:
Amy: We are your friends. We like unicorns, too.
Derrick: I don’t want to sound gay or anything, but unicorns are cool.

On things that are important:
Don: [The Captain] takes off his helmet.
Katie: Is he pretty?
Don: No.
Katie: [disappointed] Oh.

On sucking out poison, erotic?:
Jen/Aderyn: And I’ve got a –
Don: You’ve got a strange man in armor sucking on your calves.
Jen/Aderyn: And this is the most action I’ve seen in weeks.

On the weirdness of the cartoon universe:
Derrick: And you were there, and you and you..
Amy: And you were a red wolf...

On Gris the kitten:
Derrick: First person to scratch me behind the ears gets to the top of my first person to stab list.

On touch issues:
Briallen: (to Aderyn) Can I touch you, not inappropriately?
Aderyn: Why don’t you touch him? [points to Gris]
Don: Snake touch tiger, do not touch the monkey.

On the troubles with important NPCs remaining nameless:
Don: A nameless guy - “I want that nameless guy!” - not that guy, another guy!

On Trumping through to mom as a purple monkey:
Amy: Flora’s be like “Oh, that’s cute, I want to keep it.”
Jen: But I wouldn’t still be a monkey.
Derrick: You’re counting on that fact.

On Trumping through as a monkey, part II:
Jen: Unless I just lived in a trunk.
Amy: A psycho trunk monkey.

On helping be reality repair people:
Aderyn: All right. I’ll help out, but don’t send me to any shadows with garden gnomes.

So Long and Thanks for All the Ambergris

THE CAST

Cort as Flora
Madeline as Caine
Amy as Fiona
Katie as Benedict
Kai as Bleys
Julian
Todd as Corwin
Thaddeus as the GM and everyone else

THE QUOTES

On Corwin's lobotomy:
Florimel: Oh, he's had mental surgery. This will be the best party in weeks.

On the Pattern chamber:
GM: There's a sign above it in red - "Secret Stairway: Authorized Personnel Only."

On the car parked in the Great Hall on top of a butler:
GM: And there's two guys standing there and one of them says, "Yep. That's why I don't aim high. Here and the main courtyard, that's where all the strange things happen."

On the Pattern:
Pattern: Oh no, it's the bimbo and the braindead one.
Cort: (to Fiona) It reflects your own mind.
GM: That's why when Corwin walks it, he doesn't hear anything.

On we leave the room for a second and...:
Cort: Corwin, armed with the dismembered phallus of Random's statue, is going to reclaim his throne.

On titles:
Flora: Grab the happy magic phallus and let's go.

On Corwin's got some things going for him:
Vialle: (reaching out to touch Corwin's face) Who - who - [excited] who's that ?

On the burned circle around a charred chair next a huge pile of Hustler magazines:
Todd: We've found the source of the fire. Friction.

On warfare skills:
Todd: But if he had more than one rear, Benedict would know it.

On what Amber has become:
GM: Yes, all cutlery is now sporks, due to proclamation #366.
Todd: If that wasn't reason enough Random had to die...

On who might be filtering the trump calls:
Fiona: And I think someone may be monitoring Trump. Do you know anything about this, Caine?
Caine: [shrugs]
Fiona: Do you think Mandor's Balls jokes are funny?

On where's Caine?:
Julian: Did Caine come too?
[GM and Madeline shrug]
GM: Maybe.

On appropriate:
Caine: In my pocket, I have a Batman cowl. I'm putting it on.

On what Texorami has become:
Bleys, as a hawker: I've got Real Dead Girls, not like the place down the street!

On different strokes:
Llewella: Interesting you should put brothel and asshole in the samne sentence.
Julian: Funny, I didn't find it that anomalous.

On vacationing at the Abyss:
GM: There are like five demons sitting around with a big placard: "THE END IS NIGH."

On finding Random:
Todd: If you're looking for Random, you've got to burn down the places that he's not, so he can't come back.
Cort: 'Cause Random stands out more in rubble.

On snide comebacks, wow:
Corwin: Wait a minute, we just came all this way and now we have no way to get where we're going?
Caine: Why don't you try to carve through the floor with a spoon?

The House on the Hill

THE CAST

Jarrod as Flora
Jennifer as Brand
Kath as Fiona
Kai as Bleys
Camille as Deirdre
Melissa as Llewella
Amy as Gerard
Karrin as the GM and everyone else

THE QUOTES

On starting the innuendo off immediately:
Brand: I am dead inside.
Bleys: You sure are.
Brand: I need to be filled up.

On definitions:
Brand: Punishment means it's good for him and not for you. Didn't we talk about this at dinner?

On exclamations:
Karrin: Sweet zombie Jesus!

On frightening mental images:
Jen: Put us together, we become Brandom.
Karrin: It's a beast with two backs and a horrifically misshapen middle.

On Gay Gerard:
Jen: Gerard smash! Gerard not gay.

On isn't that sweet:
Bleys: I've always wanted to love Mommy.

On Llewella:
Kai: Bleys just thinks there must be something about [Llewella] other than that she's -
Jen: Beautiful in that Deep One sort of way?

On it just got worse and worse from here:
Bleys: I didn't use the cocker spaniel, I made them use the cocker spaniel.

On Gerard liking Fiona's present of silver hairsticks:
Jen: Pretty princess smash! Pretty princess not gay.
[I sooo want Pretty princess smash! on a T-shirt...]

On BDSM with Gerard as bottom:
Amy: The cuffs probably break but Gerard's going to let him finish because he loves him.

On talents:
Jen: How do you check your pants for past actions?
Kai: (as Bleys) I just know.

On super heroes:
Jen: Somewhere, somehow, someone is trying to get some. Bleys is trying to help.

On things to overhear:
Flora: Take the rope off, Brand.

On things that don't happen in every Amber game you play:
GM: Bleys takes a whiz on the Pattern.

On seasonings, icky:
GM Karrin: Well, it's all got that Oberon flavor.

On the city in the river and Gerard's temper:
Amy: I was so going to tell people that.
Karrin: I know you were, Gerard. You just had to go beat up badgers instead. There's no justice.

On Deirdre, not touchy-feely:
Deirdre: What does that mean? And why am I carrying family members all day?

On volunteers:
Fiona: So what we really need is to raise a champion.
Gerard: I can do that.

The Seven Deadlies

THE CAST

GLUTTONY - Reg
ENVY - Theo
SLOTH - Gethsemane
GREED - Glorfindel Dijon
WRATH - Clay aka the Destruction of Worlds (the DOW)
PRIDE - Mordred, King of Chaos
LUST - Luxuria
GM - Jennifer Edwards

THE QUOTES

On the Caines (Caine is legion):
GM: There's even a little 3 ft tall Caine.
Glorfindel: I use him as a cane for one of the Caines.

On killing Corwin:
Don: (to Theo) You jumped him for his sword?

On opportunities to be bad:
GM: How do you feel about having a kid with your brother?
Joyce: Ohhh! [stands up and claps] Hell yes!

On double entendre?:
Luxuria: Let's saddle some people up.
Don: You! Oil up and get a saddle.


On rounding up the blob made of the bodies of dead Amberites:
Don: You try and send the guards in, the guards are like "KISS MY ASS!"

On playing chess with the ghost of your father, possibly:
Theo: Are you going to let me win?
GM: No answer. There's nobody here but you.
Glorfindel: That's a difficult question, then.

On deep-seated fears:
GM: You did notice that before the Thelbane came back, there were no people. And now, there are people.
Joyce: But it's a Christian Science reading room.

On being a bit more careful with one's phrasing:
Reg: If it's not in my stomach, I don't care where it is.
Mordred: Majordomo! Take my son to the X-ray room. If there is anything interesting inside him, it will be time for some surgery.

On gross:
Guy: That's what I lost!
Don: Your virginity? It's in your son's stomach?

On a Shadow Earth where everyone is Corwin:
Don: How much time did the guy spend here?

On do what the Romans do:
Don: (as Clay) I decide to look like Corwin so as not to stand out.

On we've found one of Don's fears anyway:
Don: Do not watch porn in this shadow.

On spirited apologies:
Amy: If I exploded him, I'm sorry.

On which is the real Mordred:
Gethsemane: It's not my fault you're not a big black snake anymore!

On taking things in stride:
Reg: You have a big blob of people? Why do you have a big blob of people?
Luxuria: I have no idea. Young Jackie found it in the woods.

On phraseology:
Mordred: What can I do for you?
Clay: Well, I'd like to get away from the Elder Amberite zombie gestalt thing -

On Gluttony:
GM: It's not the first time he's had human.
Don: Yes, he knows the taste of manmeat.

On in an EVIL game, after all:
Guy: The doorway opens, do they all walk through?
All: I'm going.
Guy: (as Mordred) Well, now that you've all walked into my trap, I close it.

On misplacing things:
Don: (as Clay) Where did the King of Chaos go? I don't want to be blamed for this...

On who had the weirdest day:
Luxuria: These people have had snakes and things...
Guy: And you found an undead ball of flesh and you think that's normal.

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