ＨＯＭＥ

by 7k


Ch.1
Crunch ... Crunch ... Crunch. The cold wind penetrating the fortrace of defence upon his upper lip, Craig walked down his lonely path through the woods. He knew where he was going but not quite how to get there. For he knew this wood like he knew all woods, the problem not lying with his mind but within his soul. It's been so long since he had spoken to any much less gone to a party,t he was invited so he decided to go. He walked for about 30 minute befor ariving. He was glad to see all his old friends from high school; Masky,Hoody,Glitchy Face, and Scully. "Hey guys" proclaimed Craig, voice cracking slightly, silence followed. Scully exclaimed "OMGeeze you actually showed up!! HA!" "yeah ot has been a while since seeing you guys so why not show up hen invited" Scully responded "Oh .. Oh ... *giggles slightly* HEY MASKY MASKY LOOK WHO SHOWED UP TO YOUR PARTY!" Masky could not here Scully due to the fact that he was listening loudly to his copy of Hot Line Bling through his ear buds which wher connected to his Mapple 4s Mypod on his leg. "Hey dingus." yells Scully to Masky as he raises sling shot with an acorn and shoots off one ear bud with. "Wow nice shot!" exclaimed Hoody "Well yeah I WAS added to TOTHEARK due to my slingshot prowess." said Scully "Yes that and your good spray can for putting calling card symbol on wall." Scully raised his sling shot again shooting off the other bud. "Oh noe I am budless!"excalimed Masky."we seem to have a problem" interjected Scully "It better be good I was listening to Drake." Scully just pointed at Craig who at this point just stand and waves akwardly at them. "PFFFFT!!! THE LOSER ACTUALLY SHOWED UP." yelled Masky. "What?" questioned craig. "YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU?" Masky said blithly, "IT WAS A JOKE, WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW, NO ONE WOULD EVER WANT YOU NEAR THEM YOU DISGUSTING STUPED UGLY SMELLY OLD PUNGENT FLUFFY PUTRED RED UGLY HAIRY MAN" Craig Slumped and began to walk away Masky and Scully laughing at him Hoody reluctantly joining them, Glitchy was stand in the exact same position as he was when Craig first joined the party now emitting sawtooth wave which sound precisly and acurately like the kind you can make in audacity by going to generat sounds: wave: sawtooth wave. Craig walked away defated with only one thought on his mind ..."Isn't there any one in this world for for Craig Digsby?"
Ch.2
The grey vaguely phalic ETL alarm clock laid solaciously upon the short, light brown, night stand 8 feet away from Flanders' bed side. he didn't nee for the alarm to sound for hime to get out of the all he had to do was roll and the time for he couldn't sleep any way.He got up at 5:30 in the morning greeted by the gently sound of rain in th distance.The rain reminded him of how he felt on inside. Ever since his wife Maud died 6 months ago his life has been one long string of sad. He got ready for for day as he normally would, he combed his brush he applied his glasses and nhe put on his signature white Nike Monarchs. Finally he grabbed his signature sweater. His signature sweater was green. Putting on his signature sweater he felt as if he had a thousan baby angles kissing him on is wrists and neck. 
He paved vback and fourth in room considering wether he was ready to open the door and leave the thresh hold of the room.If he left the room he would undoubtebly have to face his kids Rodd and Todd. He hated Rodd and Todd, and always did, pretonding to like these retards was getting harder and harder every day with out Maud."Why diddly why" he thought to himself "Why cant Rodiddly and Todiddly be more like Lisa" he had this thought almost constantly just like every parrent in the tri-state area. "Well ... here goes thing" he oppened door and left room."Howdy""goodmorning""Would you like breakfast?""No but dad will""why do you suppose""because I'm making it""Good asertion by why would you assume I'm cooking""No I am""Oh""wassup guys I'm just dropp'n by""What's a cool person like you doing here"" I liveHere with my brother and my Daddy""not you, YOU""the cool ones are alway silent""Goodbye""bye""bye""now how about that breakfist kiddos?""sure but wheres dad?"The leftorium was quiet as usual. The checking machine was broken so Ned had to call in a tech guy to fix it, not that it mattered  considering no one shopped at his buisiness ever, it was a wonder that he manages to kepp it open.After about roughly 47 minutes Computer Jym showed up to fix his checking machine. "hello I am here with my tool to fix youre machine." "Diddly" "Ohhh wait a minute youre that guy who had his wife aren't you?" "Why yes I am" "HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. DEADY-DEAD YOURE A ... um oposte of widow!!!! What an idiot LOL HAHAHHAAHAHAHA" very flusterd Ned interuptrs with "ARE YOU PEOPLE KIDDING ME CAN I GO ONE DAY WITH OUT PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF ME FOR HAVING A WIFE THAT DIED! IT'S ReaLLY NOT NICE AND I'D REALLY APRECIATED IF YOU WOU SCRAM-DIDDLY-AM" offend Jym says "well excuse me I came here to fix you technology not be yelled at! Just because you were so rude to me take this!" ... *he farts and it explodes* "OH NO, Now I have to by a new checking machine" "and more that that ESCALABURRRRRR OUT"
After a long of work he made his way home. It was dark as a black cat covered in coal in the middle of a tar feild out in the vacume of space due to the fact that the clouds covered the moon and stars but the street lights were on and he had a flashlight so it didn't matter. He walked home at a brisk pace to avoid contact any one for fear they would chastice him for his loss. He made to the perimitter of his house with out drawing the ire of any passer byers, only narowly escaping the gaze of that guy who e passed by 5 minutes before this momment.And here he was at the home plate ... his home in there he could escape the out side world, but he hesitated, was this really a gate to freedom open to him with light pooring out on him like a really bright lamp or was it a prison, if he entered the house he'd have to live the same horrible experiences day after day the same anoying kids, the same cruel towns people, the same crushing feeling of lonliness. just in the moment of horribleness he felt some one aproach behing. Fearing another beating he whipped around to see what was behind him ... but he saw nothing. he backed away slowly out of shock. noticing some figure apearing in his lower feild of vision he looks down to see Lisa. "Hey the Mr.Flanders Watch doi'n" "Oh nothing, what are you doing out so late at night little girl?" "I'm looking at the stars with my really good telescope I have." "who could offord to give you such a nice telescope?" "No one I invented itsir" "Well if you're so smart why don't you help me out with my problem then" "Oh sure I love helping people!" "well see for some reason I can't decide whether I want to go into my home or not and I don't know why." "well how do you know that that's your home?" "what do you mean of course it my home I bought and live in it with my kid's and my ... well just me and my kids" "well you know what they say 'home is where the heart is" "well that's the problem ... I don't know where my heart is ..." "well sometimes when I don't know what's going on inside I like to walk throught the woods and observe the beuty of nature and think in the isolation" "are you suggesting that I walk out into the woods at night by myself" "You can do what ever you want" " well ... thanks for the advice I think I will go to the woods ... but because I'm not ready to go home not because I think it'll lead me to some big revelation."Ned walked off taking out his flashlight Lisa went back to her really good telescope that she invented. A she touches the telescope a screw fall off and into grate that she put the telescope on top of.
CH.3
The crispety crunch of his steps resonated in the deep darkness of the wood as he walked through his seemigly predestaied path. Whether it was for escape or self  discovery was irreleve he was here ad he was walkig this long path that he called "the dark woods path of nature". He walked for about an hour just stewing on his thoughts before he realized that he was lost.With aproximately 30 minutes left on the bateries that were inside of his flash light he desperately ran try to find his way. He yell asking for help but got no answer. "This is just great" he thought "How could I have thought that walking aroud wood at night would be a bad?" He put on his back to a tree and slid to the ground. "maybe this is what nature intended maybe this is what is supposed to happen to me...diddly..." he turned of hiss flash light and just sat in silence for a good 6 minutes. It was then that he could hear the rustleing of the the leaf. he turned of his fleshlight and pointed it ahead to see a strange man infront of him.
"Did some one call for held?" asked Craig "Oh highdy ho there savioreeno!That would me doin' the callin'" said Ned "and who might you be?" "Well my name is Craig Digsby:D" "Craig Diddly eh-" "no Craig DIGSBY" "Diddly?" "Digsby" "Diddly" "not diddly Digsby" "oh Doodly, got you" " NO DIDD- shit"
Meanwhile bellow the grate bellow the really good telescope that Lisa invented all by herself with the missing screw ... the screw float on the water down stream in the sewer below the grate. An smart obsertant Rat sees the shiney staneless steel screw floating on the sewer water. It swam over and grabbed the screw on the water with the fingers on his hand and walked back to the concrete side thing he was standing on before. "Yes" chester thought "a shiney thing to propose to my Girl Rat with" but Chester the Rat's boss on the other hand wasn't so happy. as he see chester arive to work with shiny screw he think "how does he get nice thing I am the boss there fore rich and also I have no loved ones and are very sad." See boss rat was alway jealos of Chester |as well as many Rats| because of there acess to love which he has lacke ever his whole Rat familly got drowned in a boating acident. And now with a rich Rat thing to propose this is too much. "I'll crush him under my mighty Rat fist" thought Rat boss he picked up the Rat phone  with his  and dialed the Rat dial with his Rat fingers.
"So Mr.Digsby do you know how to get me my home?" "Yes I know my way around any wood" "Oh" *Ned Blushes* "well I guess this whould be easy walk back" "yes" "so why don't you tell me a bit about your seld?" "Why me ... theres not too much to say I'm the same borring man I've always been ... I guess I know stuff about nature ... what even brings you out here so late at night." "I was on a spirit journey I guee I was trying to find where my heart was ... I know stupid huh" "No that what I was looking for whenI started. I guess I lost track of what I was in search of when I started. I got side tracked by my research into the natural world so now I have all these revelutionary finding and no one to share them with. I used to have a childrens show. It got takken down because people thought my findings were baloney." "That's awfull" " well that's what happens when your write your research papers on bread instead of paper." "Why don't you give a nature fact right now?" "Well ... um ... Did you know the sun isn't actually real?" "why no I didn't" "Yep it's actually an ilusion caused by the acsess of ozone in our atmosphere  ... that's why the hole in the ozone layer causes the radiation to go up" "ohhh that makes since" "well it's great that you listen to me ... any one else would call me crazy just for saying the truth" "Well ... what do you do now?" "nothing with no job no home and no familly all I do is walk around aimlessly becoming more and more intuned with the natural world. I haven't seen anyone in I don't know how long ... so how about you ..." "Well I wish my life was as interesting as yours ... I own a failing buisness I have to mentally challange children and ... well don't make fun of me ... but I have a dead wife." " Why would I make fun of you for that. If anything I'm jealoss." "Why is that" "well as some one who lacks the social capability to be around some one with out putting them at unease and rarely ever sees anyone... the idea o having anyone who charishes your presents is mistifiying to me." "I don't know what youre talking about you seem charming." *Craig Blushes*
Ch.4
once craig is done leading NEd to house, "is this your house" ask craig "yes this is my my house" "well it's  nice meeting you I'll be off now -" "oh but you can't!" "And why might that be" "Well se umm ........my neighbir lLisa is looking at her telescope" "Umm ... okay but my specialty is earth not the off of ewarth." "Yes but let me introduce you it's really im,portant" Okay. They walk onto Lisa's yard as she is screwing on another stainless steel screw on to the the really good telescope that she invente all by her self , to replace the other stainless steel screw that fell in the grate bellow where she place the telescope that she made. "Hello I am back" Started Ned "oh that's gret did you find your heart" replied Lisa "I'm not sure but I found this cool guy" replied Ned "Hi" said craig feverishly looking a round at all trying to find a clear shots for the woods."oh hello my name is Lisa"Lisa said " hello I am craig nature science specialist ..."Hey dorkus you look like how  Lisa's boogers smells" interupted Bart suddenly out of nowhere thoring an acorn at him"would you stop sying that to every one I meet you too?" started Lisa "I'll stop saying it when it stops being true" Bart fires back a he walke back to pick up his copy of Mein Kompf off of the sooth tiled procelein floot to revail a Rat hole in wall. "Ignore my brother he-" Rats pile in the room from wall" "ekk an Rat" yell Lisa as she , as well as everyone else leaped onto counters as Rats run around the floor. But Craig did not jup he just sits there observing the Rat's. As the Rats ran around in circles aimlessly on floor Craig realises that Many of the Rats are actually carrying guns. he picks up one of the Rats and Yelled at him " THIS IS AGAINST REGULATIONS." Rat goes to make a responce as the others stop and look at Craig when Craig interupts them "I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE BEFORE I CONSULT THE FEDERAL BURROUGH OF RATS" he throughs Ratman on the ground, they all run into another hole.
This hole went on forever as if it was actually a tunnel. The Rats thought they would never reach there goal              but they did. They finally made it to the meeting. "We have a new operation ..." started Rat Mafia Boss started "precicesly 2 hours ago I was called by Rat boss offering me 10,000 to put out a hit out one Chester the Rat, 20,000 if his shiny thing is retreived, I will be giving a 50% cut to who ever can acomplish this for me." One Rat raises his Rat hand "yes but how to find said Rat he is a shifty character, like how does 1 Rat come across such shiny thing , and how does he plan to use it?" "That's the second purpose of this meeting ..." started Rat Mafia Boss " see that box over there, I want all of you to write all of to write down everything that you know about our good ol' pal chester the Rat andput it there" All the Rats begin to fill out there forms and file them away in the cardboard box hung up on the wall of the sewer with shoe strung. "and I hope with all this information the  operation should g along smoothly as I have also temperarilly put all other Operations to an end untill this one is completed, any ques-" "But I don't wanna be a killa I want to be a great Rat chef!" interupted one Rat waving around his culinary degree. "That's not a question ..." started the Rat Mafia Boss "Kill him!" One thousand Rat pounce uppon the Rat with the Rat Culinary Arts Degree brandishing Rat Knives. Within Rat seconds he is dead. The Rats go back to there seats, except one who lingers looking at the rat corps thinking of the futility of life and the meaningless strugless within it. In the end our Rat identities are meaningless ... why does it matter if you persue your dreams, whether it be a Rat chef or a Rat astrophisicysist if no one will ever remember you were here. The Rat thought of this as he turned to his Rat seat "Maybe If I do something meaning full I might be remembered ..." he looks at his Rat knife then at Rat Mafia Boss. 
"Wow your kids are great!" said Craig "Those weren't my kids that was my neighbor, my kids live in my house" "okay bye" said Craig as he walked off. "Wait!" interupted Ned "what" started Craig "where do you have to sleep?" "I lay apon abed of grass and under a blanket of stars. Nothing quite as buitifull, and cold, as that!" "well," Said Ned "Ever since my wife died there has been one free room, If you want you can stay as long as you want." "Oh really! I'd really apreciate that!" "No problem nice guy-a-reeno. " "No I will make this upto you! You'll see."
Ch.5
Craig tossed in turned the bed , it was the lentil dream again, oh how he hated it. He thrashed till he woke only to find ... comfort. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was in someones and almost a minute to fully remember how he had gotten there he turned to rise from bed when Ned barged in with a tray of some sort."Breakfist in bed?" questioned Craig "Why yes all guest and resi-diddly-ent-a-reenos are treated with the upmost care and respect in the Flander's house hold." Ned replied, "Oh well thank you oh so very much, I will take great pleasure in paying you back for this." "Oh no debt is owed by the man who saved my life!" "Oh you just wait ..." Said Craig with a sly smile.
Craig walked down stairs with the try in hand. Flanders drinking a cup of coffee at the table Notices Craig entering the room, "Oh hi there, why did't you eat your tangerine?" "Because" Craig says as he drops the tray and begins to hold the tangerine in his fingers of his hand," Because this is the key!" "The key to my heart?" asked Flanders "No the key to your financial future. You told me yourself, you are running a failing buisness, and I can gaurentee you with my knowledge of the show buisiness I can make you a comercial the will boost your income tenfold! All I need is a studio. for this all I need are the basic components, which I can make from the following: a tangerine,a magnifying glass, an ice try, electric cord, grape fruit and ( a short pause follows in which you can hear a distant "grape fruits a re bullshit") well ... some lintil." He goes out side and gets a couple of hand fulls of dirt and walks back in and hands them to Ned "I want you to go and buy all necisary equipment I need while I stay here and write the script for your comercial." Ned starts, "Well that's all well ing good but I don't understand how-" "It's complex science, trust me I have been researching for years now." "It's not the science that I distrust it's whether you can actually sell my buisness to someone that bothers" "Now Neddy don't you worry about a thing I have this under complete controll. I once sold crack to an eight year old I'm preety sure this will be a sinceh" " well I have never had faith in any thing before but I guess I'll have to beleive you on this one." Ned said as he walk out, dirt in hand.
Lisa reached for the remote but couldn't quite reache it "Bart ... Why did you tape the remote and I to the ceiling" typical old Bart replies with "because I hate woement" "Well I hope you have fun not being able to change the channel as it is on the public acsess channel" "Aww nuts, can you hand me the remote" "No" "why not" "because you taped me to the ceiling!" "fine let me go get the latter." Bart leves the room while Lisa wonders how she was taped to the ceiling if Bart didn't have his latter on hand, as she thinks this a new broadcast comes on television. Craig stands before the camera in the middle of the woods. "Hello my name is Craig Digsby, resident Naturologyst. Did you know that when the cosmolological even known as the universal alignment takes place two weeks into the futer all directions will be swapped? As in all lefts will be rights or more importantly all Righties will become lefties. The majority of people will be lefties at this point and big buisness and government isn't doing anything to prepare So I'd suggest marching right on evers to the leftorium and buying all the left handed items before this upcoming leftopolypse comes into fruition." It then cuts to him gently brushing a tree.
The Leftorium was pacted with customars buying up everything in a fit of panic. "I can't beleive you did it Diddl- I mean Digsby! First you save my life. Now you save my buisness what's next?" "You'll just have to wait and see." "Oh I was just joking I don't need-" "Oh but I insist, when ever buisness dies down I have something to show you ..." "When buisness dies dowm?" "yeah when ever people realise that the future is ever present and therefore they will never have to experience the cosmic event that come two weeks into it, but then people will still need to prepare for it ... so in the end it'll stable out." "Oh well-" "See you then" Craig turns and walks away turning back tosmile and wave before he left the store.
Ch.6
The alarm clock went off and Craig sprang from his bed. He imediatly checked the calandar he hung on the wall. Today was the date that had been circled in a agressive red collor, 3 days after chapter five. He checked his charts just to make sure, and yes today was at the bottom of the trough of buisiness betwwen the two peeks, acording to Craigs calculations atleast. And with the small favors presents and subtle advancents he has made for Ned this project should move along quit smoothly.
Craig went into the bathroom. He look at himself in the mirror for about 30 minutes making sure everything was in aligne. His moustache was trimmeded and combed, his hair was slicked to the side as he liked it, his green flannel shirt was fully buttoned and even, his cashmeire underaromour vest was missing of any loose thread, his pants were stain free and were just tight enough.He was ready to go! He ran down stairs and jumped onto the chair nearest chair to the door and silently waited for Ned's eventuall early return from work.
after about 3 hours he finally arrived much to the silent anticipation of Craig. "I'm home from work!" "I can see that, buisness is slow today" "Yes" "Well that is all in the natural flow of these things as I said it should balance out in the end, if not I will always be here to give it another push." "That's great to hear, so what are you upto?" "Waiting for you" "Well I knew that I would have left earlier, now what do you want from me?" "I want to show you something, as I said before." "Oakilly Doakill." Craig walks to the back door and open it letting cold air to pour in from the out side world int the house. "Come along with me" "but it's so chilly out side!" "It won't be for long ..."
The walked through the woods the cold air causly chatting about what each other has done for each othe. Craig saved Neds life and buisness. Ned took Craig in and allowed him to meet new people, and , most importantly listened to him. As they walked and talked more and more a certain tention filled the room. It was getting harder and harder to dance around the abvious issue that was present between them.
A silence over came both of them as they slowly, walked dow this long path ahead of them. Craig couldn't help but fill his longs with the intence lust that permaited the atmosphere around them. Exhaling passionate love beams into the air. He couldn't help it he hadn't been put under this sort of pressure before in his life, he was a wizard after all (wizard as in he made it to the age of thirty without loosing his virginity not in the since that he had magical powers, that would be fucking stupid) Soon the love beams became to much as the filled the air and made every thing too hot. The leaves began to melt and Ned began to swet. "Ooo you were right it is not very cold out here any more." Ned said before taking off his signature sweater that was green revealing his six pack and pecks glistenin in the sun with his swet. Soon the passion and lust within craig soon transformed into pure horny. He couldn't go throught with his plan, he had to improvise something.
"So Ned do ... do ya wann hear a n-nature fact" Craig say voice cracking beyond all beleif. "Sure thing" Ned replies curiously, although he knew verry well what direction this was going in. "Okay ... uh-uh-uh" he pauses and picks up a lone, coconut sized rock. "Did-did-id you know that all rocks have sensual body oils at the center of them?" he hit the rock on a nearby tree cracking it like an egg splitting it in half to show the shiny clear liquid within, just beyond the rocks shael. He grabs a hand full of the thick oil "Let's try it out now!" he says starting to walk toward Ned "Now you just wait one scecond, what exactly are you trying to get at here." "I think you know. I've seen the way you look at me just let it happen." "I know it may seem like that, and I may even feel that way but I just don't think it's right to do this now as my wife died not too long ago" "Ned it's been 8 months she would want you to move onto new people and be happy." "Well it's not just that, it's also the fact that, this just goes against what I beleive." He lifts up a Bible "It's wrong god says so". Craig pauses to think and then smiles, he walks over to ned and places his slimey hand upon the bible and says "Love is more important than God." "Oakilly Doakilly!"
After 3 straight minutes of passionate love making Ned and Crag lay naked on the autum leaves on the ground pillow talk ensues. "That was great" Craig says "Best I've ever had" Ned responds "Only I've ever had" Craig asserts "Wanna get married?" Ned asks "Yes" Craig answers. As they lay there naked they begin to hear a bit of foot step coming close so they quickly get dressed. Ned breifly can't find his signature sweater that is green with diamond patern beforeCraig pulls it out of their pant leg.They quickly took on "caual possitions" Ned nauncelauntly leaning against a nearby tree Craig lays on the ground belly down kicking his legs in a bent position. Soon the "person" arrives. "Oh Hey Craig hey Ned whatcha doi'n" say Lisa "Oh nothi-" Ned starts to be interupted by Craig "Ned proposed to me." Lisa looks at the two of them with their extra bushy moustaches and fogged up glasses then smiles. "I told you this would work out for you Ned! :)" "So what exactly are you doing out here at the wood?" "What I always doo in woods I am helping poor defenceless animals from the horrors of littering. She picks a chipmunk out a tree knot hole with a can loop thing around his neck and she breaks it and it is free. "Oh we have a little interest in nature don't we" Asks Craig inquistitively "Why yes" starts Lisa "I'm interested in everything." Craig smiles real wide "Neddy !Neddy ! Can we adopt the little girl!" "Well .." starts Ned "If you adopt me you have to adopt my brother,he's not perfect but I don't deal with him who will?" Craig pauses for a second to weigh the pros and cons "Can we! Can we! Can we!" "Okay we'll adopt them, I mean I HAVE always wanted kids after all, but no more then two!" "okay we got a Deal Neddy!" the trio happilly skips home.
Mean while in the tree house behind hoody's mom's house: Hoody, Masky, and Glitch sit in there tree house shooting the breeze as usaul. "Hey hoody," Masky starts, "My lips are chapped can you hand me the lip balm."Sure thing daddio" Respons hoody as he reaches into Glithy's sleeve and grabs a tube of balm and tosses it to masky. "Thanx" says Masky before he begins to rub thelip balm on his black asphalt lips "Ew what the hell is this petrolium based?!?!" he angrilly throws the tube out of the window, as soon as it exits the window it freezes in the cold weather and falls straight down with added  weight an "oww" can be heard. "Masky why are you such a little bitch?" asks Hoody, Masky does not dignify this whith a responce. 
The trap door opens and Scully enters with a letter in hand and tube of a lip balm on head. "Deleivary for dingusses" says scully with a grin. He throughs it to Masky, Masky begins to open the envelope when  Hoody interupts, "don't you think I should read as I am the leader. "Look I don't care what you say," starts Maky "but you will never replace Reddy so get over it." Maksy opens it up and reads it. "Oh look at that looks like we've been invited to Digsby's wedding." "Really, who's he getting married to?" asks Hoody "some nerd who looks exactly like him, except more attactive." says Masky, "Really?" repplies Hoody "well ... debatebly so" says Masky "Yeah his name is Ned Flanders and the only reason he's marrying him is due to the loneliness caused by his wife recently passing. HA! What a loser!" says Scully. "So when is?" asks Hoody "Why do you care, it's not like were going." says Masky "I guess you're right we don't want to show up at a public outing, that'd kind of our cover." says Hoody  "Well that's the PRACTICAL reason." replies Masky. hoody pauses for a solid 5 seconds to roll his eyes at masky befor saying, "Well we should still keep an eye on them, as we all know this could lead to something important ..."
Ch.7
9 months later
It's 5:49 in the morning, soon the kid's will awake for school, Ned still hasn't returned home and Craig is worried, he left 3 hours ago to get some stomach medicine and he still hasn't returned. He checks the clock nearby, "where could he be ...". He hears the car roll in. Ned opens the door and stumbles to the ground and throws up, medicine in hand completely empty. "Are you okay?!?!?" asks Craig "No I could barely drive with these damn contractions" "Should I call for an ambulance?" "No." says Ned "THs baby needs to come out NOW!"
7:30 AM Craig is pacing the living room, cringing every time Ned screams in the kitchen as Lisa delivers the baby, Craig with all of his knowledge would make him a perfect wet nurse but he was way to squieemish so Lisa would have to do.He is called into the kitchen by Lisa, the opperation was a sucsess, for in Ned's hands lay little baby Seth. It was the most butifull thing Craig has ever seen he tried to pick up his son only to find trouble to lift him up dues to the umbilical still being atached to Ned. "Lisa why didn't you cut the cord?" "Bart wanted to do it but he had to go to the bathroom he still hasn't returned after15 minutes even though he said he's be back in 'two shakes'" "I guess I'll do it" says Craig as he cuts it with his machete. He looks at his on and begins to dance around with it he then goes next to ned and they start to do baby stuff when they hear a nock at the door Ned get's up and pulls up his pnts and makes his way to the front door to see who it is. He checks the peephole in the door (liuke that episode of MH with Scully except with Masky instead of Scully) he then opens the door "Hi-diddly-HO-" Masky staps Ned in the stomach and pushes him down to the ground and begins to punch him in the face. Lisa screams and hides in the closet as Hoody jumps in the room with a pipe in hand he looks at Craig who is holding the baby."Wh?" Craig asks desperately "Sorry" Hoody says befor running and hitting him in the face with the pipe, Craig drops the baby but it's caught by Glithchy as he runs on by. he continues into the kitchen and jumps through the window, spinning mid air so that his back faces the window so that the glass dosen't hit the baby. Ned then lifted upMasky off the ground and yelled "You messed with the wrong MOM!" and throws him into Hoodies head knocking bith of them out in one action he pcik craig up and put him over his shoulders and ran after glitchy into the woods.
No matter how fast/ long the ran they couldn't gain any ground on him in fact he managed to get farther and farther away each minute. the shaking woke up Craig "You know for some one named Walker" he began "he can run really well." They eventually make it to circle where there are no trees with a trench of sorts the makes up the perimmiter of it. Ned trips in the ditch thing and Craig rolls of his back and stands up and starts to meander his way to Glitchy who has Seth in his left hand and is standing in the center of the circle. He slowly raises seth into the air loud screams can be heard coming from all directions getting louder and louder as the child get higher and higher. Craig regains his balance and tries to leap at him but before that can happen there is a bright flash.
 Where Glitchy once was in now an intersection point of two long but narrow slits in the ground forming an X. Trees close to spits are on fire. Craig collapses to the ground banging his first on the ground, as Ned rises from where he fell. "What in the sam hill just happend?" "I don't know" "where is our baby ?" "I don't know! Glitchy took him somewhere." "A who did a what?" "What are we supposed do!?!?WHAT ... WHAT" Craig continues to yell what, and other variations of 'what are we supposed to do' repeatedly while Ned just stands in dis belief for 8 minutes until they hear a voice call out from behind
"It think I know some one who can help." says Lisa "What now says" Craig with a furroughed brow. Lisa pulls Scully out from behind a tree and throws him on the ground in the clearing back down. She grabs his shirt andpulls agressively at him ripping him in half! She throws the top half of him back on the ground and slaps him in the face repeatedly yelling "show them! SHOW THEM!" She then backs off impaciently tapping her foot, as Scully rolls over and gets up so that the bottom of his torso is on the ground. He pauses for a second looking at Ned and Craig then takes off his mask. It was Bart behind the mask! and Millhouse was in the pants!
"How could you" yelled Craig "My own son my greatest enemy! And he didn'thave the guts to tell me!" Ned: "I still have no idea what the heck is going on." after a short silence Bart says "I'm sorry but this is going to get way worse before it gets any better. I am here to help thoug ... I may not be able to tell you the means/motivation of me joining this organization, but I can give you the info that you need to save you son." "Okay, who the the hell was that and where did he take my baby boy?" asked Ned "Well" started Bart "That was Walker who is actually Troy, Jays clone from the future." Ned has no idea what Bart is talking aboutbut Craig is following him perfectly well. " and he took your son to the ARK to ensure that the future happens." "oh thats all well and good" replies Craig "but whats the ARK?" "I'm not entirely sure as I'm not the Oaracle, that's Troy, but I do know that this place WAS the ARK back in 2006 and that Troy is taking him back in time so that he can make some other stuff happen so he can become moderately well paid in the future or something." "That's all I needed to hear." says Craig "Yes, Lisa Can you make us a Time machine?" asks Ned "I gueeeees" says Lisa.
Craig, Ned, and Night Mind found them selves in a strang concrete room in the year 2006. In the center of the room was a large room was a large machine that said ARK onit. "I FOUND SETH" Yelled Night Mind, anoyed Ned says "that's a crayon" "But it's RED" replies Night Mind "Yes honey why don't you go play with seth over there in that chair" Replies Craig Night Mind smiles and shakes his head, then quickly Runs over to the chair and begins to scrible on a peice of paper he seemingly got out of no where "I'm taking notes!=D" "why did we take him with us" Craig asked "well it's not like we had any choice he just jumoed in, kicked Bart and Lisa out rambling something about about the scoop of his life." "Whatever let's see whats on the other side of the room!" they go the other side to see Troy sticking Seth into the machine laughing maniacally. 
Angry Ned punches Troy and sends him into the controll pannel for the machine, and sparks fly every where and Craig falls to the ground. due to the random buttons pressed Seth is now cloned on of the clones a re aging rapidly in one chamber while the clone floats calmly in the second chamber. Ned tries to open the Machine but can't he goes over to troy picks him up and start to smash him against the ARK asking him him how to open it Troy begins to bleed his Glitch mask and blood be sucked in the machine yoet he still says nothing. Ned Hits him as hard as he can and Craig screams. He drops Troy and runs to Craigs side.
Craig is bleeding and in a general bad condition Ned asks "what happend" but Craig says nothing in responce Troy just Joyfully responds "Craig is my TULPA an EXTENSION OF MY MIND if you hurt or kill me he dies!" as he goes off and presses a button and flips a switch. Bloody seth is ent out of the building in a tube and Glitchy seth is put in the center of the machineand he begins to spin. as seth spins he looses his features and becomes pailor.
"my son" said Craig "What are you doing to my son!" He got up and ran after Troy. He began to strangle him and stab him with a Rat knife that he found on the floor.Painfull but ineffective the two of the strugled for a good while Ned looked on in horror and Night Mind  was yelling something about "meta fiction". after a while of this Troy had enough! he formed a V with his hands and punched into Craig deleting him from existance!
Ned was in shock, he got up and Ran over to Troy, no mercy this time! Hegrabed troy and hit him against the ARK repeatably eventually backing up and throwing at the machine. The machine exploaded tearing troy and white featureless  sethinto infinite pieces. The explosion then collapsed on it's self forming a black hole of sorts and sucked Ned and the rest of the facility into it.Except for Night Mind. He actually lived to tell the tale, although he only had vague impressions, and in no way had a true understanding of the events that took place