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Day 5 - Part 1

I hear this voice--- What is it? Is it--- Could it be---?

I reach over to other side of the bed and pick the phone up.
-How come I always catch you on sleeping? she asks with laughter in her voice.
-Um� Uhuh, is pretty much all I can say. �What time is it?
-If you're asking is it time to go, answer is no. It's early. I thought we could chat a little.
-Ain't you coming to pick me up?
-No. I'm sorry but you have to manage on your own. I've organized everything. Reception will call you when your ride is there.
-You're good at things like this, I say, yawn and roll to my back. �So what did you want to talk about?
-Like you wouldn't have millions of questions, she points out. And yes, I guess have something. Tapes ended quite in the middle. I did watch the DVD they made out of that week but it was all very decent, very clean. There are some blank spots, I have to admit.
-What happened after that shoot of the video?
-Pretty much this is all: I walked in to the house while they were all there, I mean boys and staff and crew and everybody. I tried to sneak in so that no one would see me. But Nick did. He stared at me all the way, then shouted: "Hey there comes our diva" with anger in his voice. I showed him finger and went along.
-And then?
-We didn't see much during the rest of their time in Portugal. They had another video to shoot and it stole all their time.
-So nothing going on between you and him?
-No. Well, now when I look back I can say that there were few times when we could have ended our fight but I think that we were both too proud try to approach one another.
-Oh. It seemed all going so fine.
-Maybe.
-Didn't you hate Ophelia at that time? I mean she really screwed up. You had the time of your life and then she�
-I wasn't very happy about the situation. I mean I had achieved certain kind of respect and trust in their community and then she had torn it all apart. But then again I wouldn't have been there without her. And when she was crying in my arms so sure that she was about to die any second� How could you walk away from something like that?
-Oh, oh! I brutally interrupt her. �What was that going on with Kevin? I mean the picture he saw. It was Kristin, right? But what was in it?
-She was kissing some other guy back in LA. And even if it's funny, controversial and even hypocrite after that Kevin couldn't trust her again. They spoke a lot on the phone, half of the house knew when they were fighting.
-It was quite cruel.
-Yeah. In many ways. I mean they got the shot they wanted by showing him that picture. But what about Kristin? She had to know that at some point paparazzi would spot her and that it was too good picture not to be released. So instead of trying to talk it trough with Kevin she acted like teenage girl.
-And they separated?
-Kevin never went back to their old house. Never. Kristin sold it few years ago when she remarried. It almost devastated Kevin. And it affected on them all, you could see it. AJ was still longing for Anna, Nick was mixed up with me, Brian had started to question his relationship because all of his. Only one seeming to get trough that easily was Howie. But there came misery on him too, later on.
-But I thought AJ had a thing going on with one of the dancers.
-Yeah, he went straight to his old habits. But sleeping around never solved his problems. So when they left Portugal it was Hasta luego for Dolores. It cheered AJ up a little which was good thing. I mean how can you start to trust people after someone has tried to chain you down with faking pregnancy?
-Having sex doesn't sound like trusting.
-It's a start. 'Cause I've always thought you can't have sex without having even a little bit of faith, not even if you're looking only for your own pleasure. There's always two in bed. And having casual sex was better that getting drunk. At least in AJ's case.
-What happened with you and Nick? And where did Ophelia go? I mean she couldn't travel with them anymore, right?
-You're right, she couldn't. Be-Bob held a hell of a speech for me. Which wasn't doing good for my mood. I was kind of low.
-Kind of low? Kind of low? I repeat. �You were with the man you loved and then in a second it all tore apart. And you were kind of low?
-Okay. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I mean I was still working for them. And whatever anyone knew, they kept their mouth shut and I got to carry Evian again. At the same time I tried to take care of Ophelia. She was lower than I was. I guess if it wasn't for her I would have been wallowing in self pity. But all the time I felt like I was letting someone down. For not being loyal to Boys was different then. Before I had only leaked out little secrets like which hotel they would stay. But then I was nursering sick person in my own room without a permit.
-Did you get caught?
-Plenty of times. None of them did go to Boys, of course. But even Samuel meddled in at some point. That's when we hid Ophelia completely out of sight.
-Where did you put her?
-Believe or not but she stayed in Be-Bob's room. He said to me he wouldn't ever do that kind of thing for anyone. But he did.
-What about when you left Portugal? I mean you couldn't stay there forever.
-Not forever, no.

It was hot on the bus. Air-conditioning wasn't working. And they were all in the same vehicle. Someone had screwed up their transportation, mixed the dates or something. But result was that they were fully packed. Cara was sitting on her suitcase because every place was stuck. Of course Boys in the front sat comfortably but even they were wiping sweat off from their face.
-Can't we be there already? Nick yawned with loud voice. No one commented.
Cara looked up and saw Greg standing next to her.
-I would ask permission to sit down, he said. �But there seems to be no place to sit.
-Sorry, Cara smiled tiredly.
-It's okay. Are you okay? You look exhausted.
-Last few days have been busy.

She stood there, seeming so frail, almost transparent, like a ghost. She smiled, or at least tried but they were too far to see if she was actually crying. I kept my eyes on her as long as I could but then she vanished. What did I do? What did I give up for this?

-Haven't had time to chat lately, Greg marked.
-I know. It's too bad. I really like you.
-Me too. So you did the video and everything?
-Yeah.
-Was it cool? I saw it. Must have been freezing out there by the sea.
-It was. I'm surprised I didn't catch a cold or anything.
-You didn't? I thought Be-Bob said you were sick for few days. At least you weren't around.
-It wasn't that bad, Cara quickly said. �Hey, what's that you got there?
Greg handed her a pile of papers.
-I thought you needed some new songs to play. You can just read them trough on the flight. If you want to, I mean.
-Thanks! This is great. I'm getting little bit tired with the old pieces.
-I know. Have you had time to practice?
-Sure. You should hear me playing.
-As soon as we get� where ever we're going.
-As soon as, Cara repeated and smiled at Greg. He stood there for few seconds but there were no more words. So he just wished pleasant flight and went back with his buddies. When Cara leafed trough the sheets her hands shivered.

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