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Thousands Of Living Bodies Found Beneath World Trade Centre Rubble
Manhattan-Clean-up crew responsible for clearing up the remains of the collapsed World Trade Center were shocked when they discovered thousands of living bodies at the very bottom of the rubble.
Firefighter Damon O’Donnell said of the discoveries, "holy shit," and later "how the hell are they still alive?"
Many onlookers at the time of the discovery were equally awestruck, including local bakery owner Leonard Friedelman. "It’s been a year. How did they live this long without food or water?"
Of the thousands of survivors, only a few suffered minor injuries. "We’re fine, everybody. Stop the anniversary crap." says survivor Peter Babych. "But where the hell have you guys been? You’ve been so wrapped up in finding who was responsible that you didn’t even bother taking care of finding us."
Reports out of the middle east state that Arab leaders are furious at their failed plans. Footage courtesy of the Al Jazeera television network showed shocking images of downtrodden Muslims angrily shouting at America, claiming once again that the ‘Great Satan’ has used its evil to overcome any two-bit terrorist attack.
President Bush commented later, saying "this is a clear showing of true American resilience. The World Trade Center survivors have demonstrated that Americans can overcome any obstacle, even if it’s five thousand tons of falling concrete."
Many Americans expressed sheer indifference regarding this drastic change in events. "September what?" says Mike Karzsewski of Manhattan. "Oh, right, the Empire State Building or something fell. I remember panicking that day, but I look back now, and that was silly. I guess since these newly discovered people aren’t dead, all the stuff that’s going on isn’t really an issue anymore, although I couldn’t care less if they were alive or not, to be honest."
The official death count of the September 11 attacks has been reduced to zero, and formal apology meant for Afghanistan is in the works. "It’s important that we apologise for any inconvenience to the people of Afghanistan," said Bush, "and we want them to know that the innocent civilians who died needlessly will not be forgotten by Americans. September 11 will always remain as the day that America screwed up big time."
