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Teen Girl Would be 'Totally Cool' With it if You Were Gay

Orlando, FL–Seventeen-year-old Stephanie Irwin stated yesterday, in front of a crown of about fifteen high school students in the cafeteria of Long Street Secondary School, that "If you told me right now that you were gay, I would be totally cool with that."

Following a lengthy discussion on homosexuality in the broadest sense between several intelligent senior biology and sociology students, Irwin made her announcement, thus causing all the momentum of the discussion to be lost.

"We were having a nice talk about the issue," says one classmate. "Whether or not it’s a choice or an intrinsic biological characteristic, whether they should be able to be recognised as couples or adopt children, if they should be allowed to have a gay pride parade. And then Steph opens her mouth and says one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard in my life."

Irwin later explained herself: "I guess if you were gay it would be no big deal, since you’d be the same person you always were."

Such plainly progressive viewpoints are not uncommon to Irwin, who has been reputed as saying that "there should be a black president ‘cus it would be cool to have some change and get someone in there who knows what it’s like" as well as "hey, my brother failed the SAT, and he’s still good enough to get a job. Don’t judge."

Irwin, a typically average student in terms of grades, is reputed to often espouse such words of wisdom, in an effort to seem like a nice person.

"I don’t even think she knows what she’s talking about," says Irwin’s fourth period history teacher, Ron Saxson. "Her opinions seem to completely stem from a desire to seem like a nice, tolerant person. I was teaching a lesson on slavery and was talking about how the Confederates wanted it to remain, and she just blurted out ‘they’re so stupid. Ugh, I hate people like that!’ out of nowhere."

Many people fear that Irwin will be in trouble when and if she goes to University next fall, including her mother. "I wish she would just stop saying stupid things like how great those sleazy guys that hang out at the mall and never go to school are. She honestly told me that they have ‘a rough life’ and that there’s ‘a good reason why they never come to school’."

Irwin, who has not yet applied to a university, outlined her intentions to "just try and focus on having fun in college." She later stated that she "wants to surround herself with really cool people and not worry to much about thinking and school."