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Olympic Logo, Others,
Racist, Al Sharpton Says
Milwaukee-In a press conference today, the Reverend Al Sharpton accused, among others, the Olympic logo of having ‘racist undertones’.
Typically outspoken when it comes to commenting on the state of racism in modern society, Sharpton’s twenty minute tirade also targeted pianos, the game of chess, and, perhaps most bafflingly, the computer company Gateway.
"Just look at the Olympic logo. It’s a disgrace," said Sharpton, "The black ring is surrounded by the other four rings. This is clearly a demonstration of the white man’s ability and desire to cloak the black man in a series of other colours which [the white man] believes to be superior."
Sharpton continued his diatribe by charging pianos of being "a blatant attempt by white piano designers to further oppress blacks by making the black keys smaller."
During this part of his speech, the audience began to respond with a series of confused groans.
Resumed Sharpton, "Furthermore, even the game of chess proves that the white man’s policies are designed to allow the black man only a substandard way of life. The fact that the white pieces go first are indicative of this travesty against humankind."
Responding to one reporter’s ensuing question, "wasn’t chess invented in India?" Sharpton replied by raising his arm towards the ceiling, in an apparent motion designed to ask the Lord for strength, in the battle for justice and equality.
Of Gateway computers, Sharpton later commented, "do you see the logo? A cow? This shameless display is ostensibly a message that the white-majority board of directors does not consider African-American population sophisticated enough or even worthy of buying computers."
This comment drew nothing but blank stares from the audience. When it became apparent that not a single person knew what Sharpton meant, he elaborated. "African-Americans have a very high frequency of being plagued with lactose intolerance. The logo is a manifestation of the white-man’s rejoicing over the fact that blacks are afflicted in such a way."
Sharpton, now speaking to an empty room, sauntered off the stage, seemingly unphased and unaware of the utter asininity of his comments.
