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Manhattaners Gear Up
For Next Arbitrary Anniversary Of Sept. 11
Manhattan-There is a buzz going around Manhattan this week as preparations for the twenty-lunar-cycle anniversary of September 11 parade begin. Local residents have been gearing up for the event, which, to the rest of the nation, seems to have absolutely no significance.
"Until you’ve lost someone who’s as important in your life as your barber’s cousin, you won’t understand the importance of remembering those who gave their lives so valorously on September 11," says bakery owner Tony Fizzerelli. "I mean, if those firefighters and police officers did not give their lives, the death count might have been to low for this to be considered a true tragedy, which would make it difficult for us to seek vengeance on anybody."
Sources say that Sarah Farmer, whose father was in the plane that crashed into the north tower, will be privileged enough to hold the American flag that will be carried through the streets of Manhattan. According to Sarah’s mother Cindy, "it is important to have a flag at the parade, as it will remind people that we are indeed in America."
Most New Yorkers however have a positive feeling in the last days leading up to the event. "The three-hundred and thirty-three day anniversary last week was spectacular," says area resident John Runyan, "and the next parade can only be better. Every time they sing America the Beautiful, I cry. It affirms my American-ness, and serves as a reminder that there are no other countries on earth other than the one we are in, and the one we are currently bombing mercilessly."
The event will feature live performances by Paul McCartney, Bon Jovi, Sting and many other artists who are only days away from being spoon-fed mashed carrots by a nurse named Betty. The parade will also allow local merchants to make a little extra money, which should help them during this time of economic recession.
Says one local deli owner, "it isn’t about money, but if anyone wants to come in for our $2.99 soup-and-sandwich special, it sure would help business a lot."
The parade is expected to draw at least 120,000 spectators (all of whom will be privileged enough to receive red, white and blue glow sticks and tiny American flags) but will end early at 8:00, so that city officials can begin setting up for the fifty-thousand hour anniversary celebration, which will be held next week.
