This
site is not intended for people who can't take a joke. For entertainment
purposes only.
December 2002 Home | Archives | About Us | Disclaimer | Links | Submissions
India's Population
Completely Comprised Of Missionaries: Census
Bombay-The most recent census in India has shown that the population is now entirely comprised of white Christian missionaries.
The news was considered a positive step to many of the ultra-right-wing Baptists, who are now the sole inhabitants of a land which used to be a center for much religious conflict.
"As long as there is no other God here than the one true God, we've done our job well," says Reverend James Johansson, former leader of the United Christian Church of Bombay, prior to the surprise mass-exodus of the Indian peoples.
Demographer Richard Hyland of the University of Florida commented on the rest of the world's seeming obliviousness to the fact that over one-billion people emigrated in the past year from a single country. "When a race of people as ineffectual and untouchable as Indians do anything, it goes unnoticed to the rest of the world. The only time we ever notice Indians is when we take a taxi, or buy milk at 2:00 am. Because of this, it is not uncommon for useless peoples wander aimlessly around the globe, affecting nothing."
"One question I have, regarding this matter," asks Johansson, "is who is actually getting killed by all these Pakistanis? Also, who the hell is running this friggin' country?"
No one was available for comment, however it is assumed that no matter who assumes leadership of the nation will do a better job than whoever was in charge before.
