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Flaming Bag Of Dog Feces Found On Yasser Arafat's Porch

Jerusalem-Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat awoke yesterday to find a flaming bag of dog feces burning on his front porch. As he frantically stomped out the blaze, Israeli leader Ariel Sharon snickered in some nearby bushes.

"We really got him, Moshe, and he doesn’t even suspect a thing!" said Sharon to Israeli President Moshe Katsav.

A perturbed Arafat was later overheard saying "that damn Sharon boy, always pulling this kind of crazy shit. I think it’s about time I had a talk with his father."

The flaming dog feces incident is one of many pranks which Sharon has pulled on Arafat over the past few months. Last week Arafat awoke late at night only to discover that his house had been completely toilet-papered. He only caught a fleeting glimpse of Sharon, but lost sight of him as he crossed back over in to the Jewish section of town. "I thought we were really close to achieving peace." says Arafat "but I was obviously wrong."

Arafat has never retaliated with any sort of childish prank, however he did state that if there are any more pranks, he will stop condemning the actions of the suicide bombers. "It’s not a big deal; boys will be boys. It’s just that first it’s the whole stealing our land thing, then it was the putting my compound under siege and making me look like a completely ineffective leader, now he’s leaving dog poo on my porch. Has Ariel completely forgot about our trip to Oslo in 1993?"

Sharon seems unworried by the concept of a large-scale Palestinian retaliation. "Ol’ Mr. Arafat is crazy. Palestinians have been leaving burning dog poop on Jewish doorsteps for ages, now it’s our turn. We could use our military, but that gets kind of boring, since they don’t have anything to fight back with."

Later that day it was reported that a suicide bombing occurred in Jenin, killing eleven.