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LATVIA
vs. ESTONIA
•First Baltic state to join WTO. Not like it matters.
•Recently mired in drug problems, the cornerstone of a great nation.
•Could be used as nuclear testing grounds in future: lots of empty space.
•Flag looks like Canada's, if it were sideways, and the proportions were changed, and a leaf was added.
•Latvian Orthodox has really
cool hats.
•Muuga,
Haapsalu, Viljandi, Kohtla-Jarve: Their cities are way harder to pronounce.
•A 'republic', just like America, except no one cares about Estonia.
•No AM radio means goat farmers can't get weekly dose of Dr. Laura.
•So many double vowels: language looks funny.
•Not enough AIDS victims to generate any real sympathy.
•Capital rhymes with one of the most evil men ever. Coincidence? Probably not.
WINNER: Although Estonia has a strong culture, Latvia is just so damn cool. Estonia has been pinned.
