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African-Americans Take Over Country, Enslave White People

Washington DC-In what is being called the most significant event of the century, the American government has been overthrown by a radical group of African-American militants. The group, who call themselves the Afro-American Society of Freedom and Equality and are made up of approximately 5000 people, stormed the white house today armed with guns and grenades whereupon they handcuffed George W. Bush before taking control of the oval office.

Tarrell Jefferson, leader of the AASFE, has declared himself to be the new president. His first act was to officially declare that all white people are to become slaves. Jefferson told the press, "This is the only fair thing to do. Sure, we could have opted for the $2 million reparation, but would that really have made up for the hard labour my great-great grandfather did in 1864?"

Bush, who was allowed to speak publicly for a few minutes yesterday stated "We can not judge the black community for this action. On television, you are only going to see images of African-Americans whipping and commanding white people, however this is not an indication of the feelings of the black community as a whole. My advice is to submit to their every command."

Bush was later heard saying "these crazy Negroes, you never know what they're gonna do."

The proposal to enslave white people was unanimously voted upon by the new congress, who has also decided that all white people should be forced to live in poverty-stricken ghettos with rampant drug use and irritating music all about.

Tom and Linda Thomas, former residents of suburban Chicago both fear the worst. "We took their ancestors from Africa, now they'll probably ship us off to somewhere," says Tom, 34, an engineering technician for a successful Chicago business firm. "I bet they'll make us raise their chickens, or whatever it is they eat," says Linda.

"It's time people stood up and took notice of us," announced President Jefferson. "Black history is rife with instances of us being successful. Did you know that a black man invented peanut-butter? Also, thanks to black woman, we now have the option of sitting at the front of buses, although this is something we didn't even really want as a group"

White people are scheduled to begin working on Monday, and are expected to do so without complaining, in an effort to prove that once again, they are superior to blacks in yet one more way. The forced labour will likely consist mainly of doing tasks for a slave's black master, a list which will include buying drugs, killing police officers, and performing sexual favours upon request.

"The best part about having white people do this stuff for us," says Jefferson, "is that now we really can blame them for everything."