The Hobbits have just arrived and Elrond is there to greet them.
Elrond: (being very serious)"Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Baggins," (turning suddenly cheery) "my ultimate summer getaway... complete with water slide!"
* * *
In Rivendell, again
Arwen has been out searching for her beloved Aragorn and Elrond has sent Glorfindel and another Rivendell elf out after her.
Glorfindel (entering into Elrond's chamber): "Sire? The good news is, we found your daughter. The bad news is, we dropped a warthog on her. Is there a problem with that?"
Elrond: confused blinky face
* * *
In Moria
Gandalf: "We must be careful. There is a foe here that is beyond any of you. Trust me, I'm right."
The Balrog suddenly roars and lumbers through the doorway while Gandalf is looking the other way.
Pippin (pointing towards the approaching Balrog): "Uh, Gandalf? You know that thing you were right about? It's about to eat us."
* * *
In Mirkwood (bookverse)
Gollum has just been given to the Mirkwood elves for safekeeping.
Random Mirkwood elf: "Where is Isildur's Bane?"
Gollum: "I'll never tell." (suddenly beginning to hiss) "Any of youssss."
* * *
In Lothlorien
Legolas has just convinced Haldir to give Gimli a tour of Lorien.
Haldir (acting unusually perky): "Let's take him to the mythical forest."
Legolas: "Yeah, that's where I'd live if I was mythical. But sadly, I'm just adorable."
* * *
At the Council of Elrond
Boromir (all haughty): "What would a mere Ranger know of these matters?"
Legolas (jumping to his feet): "This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and you owe him your allegiance."
Boromir starts to stalk towards the blond elf when Elrond jumps between them.
Elrond: "Can't we all just make a felt marker with some twigs and a popular cola?"
The entire Council just looks at the elf lord with the confused, blinky face.
Elrond: "Um, I meant can't we all just get along?"
* * *
In Lothlorien
The Fellowship has just come from a complementary pancake breakfast thrown by the Galadhrim. However, since the sprinklers went off, the Fellowship is now sopping wet and still hungry.
Celeborn (politely): "So, how was the pancake breakfast?"
Aragorn: "Rained out."
Celeborn: "So the sprinkler thing worked?"
Boromir (yelling): "You knew about this!? Why didn't you tell us!?"
Celeborn: "Cause if I did, then I couldn't do this." (breaks into throes of maniacal laughter)
* * *
In Rivendell
Arwen (very irritated with Aragorn): "Aragorn, you're nothing but... but a man!"
Aragorn: "I am not." (pauses) "Wait..."
* * *
In Mirkwood
Aragorn has just met Legolas for the first time.
Aragorn: "That's an interesting name, Greenleaf. How did you come by it?"
Legolas (matter-of-factly): "We changed it in the Second Age."
Aragorn (puzzled): "You changed it *to* Greenleaf?"
Legolas: "It used to be Marijuana."
Aragorn: "It's a good change!"
thanks to Sam for this one
* * *
At Amon Hen
Aragorn and Legolas are singing Boromir's funeral song when a drenched and bedraggled Steward of Gondor comes up behind them.
Boromir (in a Southern accent so thick you could cut it with a knife): "Don't you just hate that song?"
Aragorn and Legolas stop singing and proceed to run about in utter, and strangely choreographed, panic.
* * *
In Rivendell
Aragorn has just come back from a *long* discussion with Elrond about Arwen.
Legolas: "Well, how did it go?"
Aragorn (acting all testy): "I told you how it went. I was like a really dorky deer caught in the headlights."
* * *
On to the answers
On to Chapter Nineteen: Don't Say a Quote