Aragorn: "Stay still..."
Boromir (glaring up at Aragorn): "As I lie here, I can't help but comment. I was not properly briefed. And the reason for that is that this mission was not properly researched. If certain people had bothered to gather intelligence on the creatures before bumbling in here, this wouldn't have happened." (waving hand weakly at his arrow-filled chest)
Aragorn (confused, blinky face): "Okay..."
* * *
In Hobbiton at Bilbo's party
Music begins to play and Frodo perks up.
Frodo: "A lively tune... I'm inspired to dance."
He proceeds to dance in the middle of the party.
Sam (speaking under his breath and drinking an ale): "Dance like a chicken, you mean."
* * *
At Amon Hen
Legolas: "A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind."
Aragorn (throwing an arm over the elf's shoulder): "Always with the negative waves, Leggy. Always with the negative waves. Can't you dig how beautiful and peaceful it is out here and say something righteous and hopeful for a change?"
Legolas (glaring at Aragorn and crossing his arms over his chest): "Crap."
* * *
At Isengard
Saruman has just unveiled his palantir.
Gandalf: "Where did you get that?!"
Saruman (refusing to meet Gandalf's eyes): "Um, inheritance. Internet." (Looks up with a grin) "I inherited the internet!"
* * *
In the wilderness
Aragorn (holding up a razor with a huge grin): "I am a man!"
Legolas (looking at Aragorn with one eyebrow raised): "Really... do you know how to use that thing? Is it even real?"
Aragorn (looking down and shuffling his feet): "No..."
Legolas: "That's what I thought."
* * *
In Lothlorien
A rather *curvy* Legolas accosts Boromir and presses up against his chest.
Legolas: "I want you, Boromir."
Boromir (trying to pry the elf's arms from around his neck): "But, Leggy, I'm British."
Legolas (backing up and thrusting his *augmented* chest up in Boromir's face): "So are these!"
Boromir pulls a stick pin from somewhere and pops the balloons under the elf's shirt.
Legolas (blushing): "Well... drat." (He then ponces off to sulk. VSD)
* * *
In the middle of nowhere, the Fellowship has just finished killing a group of orcs.
Legolas: "This sure is the middle of nowhere."
Aragorn (glancing at the elf in exasperation): "Sure it is. Things like this only happen in the middle of nowhere."
* * *
In the Mines of Moria
Merry (accidently knocking the skeleton into the well): "Oh, no! The orcs are going to find us and it's all my fault!"
Pippin: "Yay! It is your fault. Usually it's my fault." (sobering quickly as Gandalf glares at him) "I mean, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know."
Gandalf: "Fool of a Took."
* * *
At the bridge of Khazad-Dum
Gimli: "As soon as this quest is over, I'm going to go into business leading tours through Moria."
The Balrog roars and pulls Gandalf off of the bridge.
Boromir (with one eyebrow raised): "You can't run a business where your customers get eaten."
* * *
In the wilderness
Frodo comes stumbling back into the camp, his face pale and his eyes wide in shock.
Sam (rushing over to Frodo): "What happened, Mr. Frodo? What did you see?"
Frodo (still in shock): "Elf... skirt... PIGTAILS..."
The rest of the Fellowship rushes over to the distraught Hobbit. Then, a faint voice can be heard from the bushes.
Aragorn (singing from somewhere out of sight): "It's Satan and the schoolgirl..."
The rest of the Fellowship looks at each other for a moment, then begins running around the campsite in utter, and strangely choreographed, panic. Again.
* * *
On to the answers
On to Chapter Nine: Somewhere and Back Again